Things I Want to Teach My Child

THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS….

Things I have read or heard that I want to share with my child.

Do a ‘ctrl’ ‘f’ to search for a particular word as the info may be found under several headings.

GRATITUDE see attitude.

  • Optimism is really rooted in gratitude. Optimism is sustainable when you keep coming back to gratitude, and what follows from that is acceptance. -actor Michael J. Fox, 59 who has battled Parkinson’s for 30 years.
  • The key that encourages kindness is a sincere “thank you” for acts of thoughtfulness. It gives joy to the giver, which can create a domino effect that can ignite a community. One act of kindness after another.  When you show love by encouraging others you will find the key to an unending source of happiness.   You hold the key. A  small key can open a big door.
  • A thank you note is an act of grace. It completes the circle.  It is something between us, something we share. It connects us, and makes us both feel better. -Jane Howard Victoria magazine June 1994 pg 44 Title Acts of Grace.
  • Gratitude, like faith, is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it grows. Alan Cohen
  • Be humble and in touch with gratitude.
  • Nurture gratitude for your life. Remember that true beauty comes from within, from the positive qualities of your heart and mind. And most of all, be kind. Kindness is beautiful. Out of that will come happiness. And happiness is sexy!- Tina Turner
  • I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness. It’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.- Brené Brown
  • Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.- William Arthur Ward
  • Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.
  • Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
  • Think like a proton. Always positive.
  • Take a deep breath and think of the three things you are grateful for, right in this moment.
  • In our busy lives, we may be tempted to forget  that God is the one who gives us life. But  we can build an attitude of thankfulness into our daily routines asking Him for help and acknowledging the gift of life with humble, thankful hearts.thanking Him for His goodness and faithfulness.
  • Life is a gift. It is not about the plans we make; it is about the moment that make every day worth living When you nearly lose it all you find you have everything in the world.
  • I feel that everyone’s searching for, the feeling that unites us all. Call it “God.” Before I go onstage every night, I pause and dedicate the performance to God, in the sense of “Allow me to surrender.” Onstage he feels an intimacy that feels natural, that transcendent. You get above and beyond if people like you or wondering how you are doing.Transcendence happens and when it does, there is nothing like it on the planet. It’s the moment people experience when they fall in love, which is equally frightening and exciting. That is what it feels like. – Hugh Jackman
  • When you focus on the goodness in your life you create more of it.- Oprah Winfrey
  • ‘Life doesn’t get any better than this’ is the realization that we have everything we need, not that it is any easier.
  • Life is full of hidden surprises. Think of them as life’s little bonuses. Small happenstances that make you realize that the universe is on your side. – Comic strip Pickles 8/24
  • Start each day with gratitude and it’s bound to go a bit better than if we didn’t.
  • The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.
  • You may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in our mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game- Actress Betty White, age 98.
  • Gratitude sustains the soul. How can we experience grace if we don’t feel grateful?
  • Be grateful for blessings not yet received, for blessings unknown. Gratitude is a practice that opens us up to God’s gift. -Norman Vincent Peale
  • Whatever you do will come back to you…some call it karma but it is actually found here: what you_sow, you_reap
  • Video: Heart of a Teacher a message of gratitude for educators.
  • We are not promised precious moments forever so be filled with gratitude for the present.
  • People don’t remember what you say, but they do recall how you made them feel.
  • Give thanks! For anything! Your health, your family, etc.  Just saying the words “thank you” activates the right prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for whether you think something is “good or “bad”. And that makes feelings of calmness, contentment and security wash over you.
  • Those who pray together, stay together.
  • If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “Thank You,” that would suffice. —Meister Eckhart
  • There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is. —Albert Einstein
  • In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. —Aaron Rose
  •  Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. —Rumi
  • Gratitude is the only attitude.~ Cameron Diaz
  • The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on the Bright Side Can Transform Your Life (Dutton)  -Living gratefully leads to a richer, more fulfilling life.
  • To speak life means to think positively. It is important to choose words and thoughts that will uplift and inspire us especially when we face a trying time.
  • Our thoughts have the power to curse or bless us. Our words have power. focus on the words you speak. If it doesn’t serve, don’t speak it.
  • Never take anything for granted. Each day is a gift. It is a prize of its own. You have to go out there and receive it and enjoy it to the best of your abilities. That’s what I do every day of my life. And always remember: Believe.- Eric LeGrand whose football career ended in tragedy.
  • Gratitude comes from a place in your soul that knows the story could have ended differently.
  • Gratitude can unshackle us from toxic emotions.
  • Gratitude makes us feel good and when shared, uplifts others.
  • Gratitude which has lasting effects on the brain promotes better mental health.
  • Start the day with the attitude that some things may go wrong, but by looking for good in everything around us–even in the things that go wrong- we will find much to be happy about.  We create our own atmosphere by deciding ahead of time to think, act, speak and be grateful…. and that draws even more good to us.

Nurture an attitude of gratitude-

  1. Keep a gratitude journal with big and little joys in your life.  It is a proven mood-booster. Share the list with others through e-mail or text.
  2. Write down and identify three good things that have gone well for you and why. Refer to this often.
  3. Think about the people who inspire you and consider how you can emulate the qualities that you most admire.
  4. Write thank you notes to people you appreciate and let them know why.
  5. Leave yourself reminders to look for the positives in your life such as  Post-it notes on the mirror or fridge.
  6. Engage in mental subtraction-imagine what your life would be like if some positive event, joyous occasion or significant blessing hadn’t happened.
  7. Take a thoughtful walk to appreciate the things around you-sights, sounds, the smell of freshly cut grass, a stranger’s smile or a landmark.

ATTITUDE See Gratitude

    • Life is all about attitude. You’re no better than anyone else, but nobody is better than you.
    • The key to good health is a good attitude. A good attitude is contagious. Be a carrier. -Unknown
    • Attitudes are contagious….Is yours worth catching?
    • Ninety-nine percent of everything you do in life is attitude. If you have a relationship with God, and you have the right attitude, you’re going to learn to ask the one question in life that covers everything; How can I help you? -unknown
    • None of us are born optimists. You aren’t in control of anything in life except your attitude. You may have to force a smile at first. Focus on your blessings.
    • Optimism is positive thinking lighted up.-Norman Vincent Peale
    • Accentuate the positive, not the negative. Don’t look for something to complain about. Complaining is such a waste of time. People get bored hearing your complaints.It isn’t hard to find something good in every one and everything.
    • If you have to tell someone something negative, first say something positive, then the negative and end with a positive.
    • Practice positive thinking at home, as well as outside the home. Too often we waste our charm on strangers, then do nothing but complain at home.
    • It is important to follow rules, finish what you start, never give up, develop leadership skills, teamwork, stay positive and motivated.
    • Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.
    • Being positive won’t guarantee you will succeed. But being negative will guarantee you won’t.
    • Don’t feed negativity as it will get uglier, nagging and demanding your attention.
    • If your life is off-key, maybe it’s because you have been deafened by the negative self-talk that doesn’t let God get a word in edgewise. – Mark Batterson.
    • “For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.” – Harry F. Banks
    • Video: Attitude is everything.
    • “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”–Scott Hamilton
    • “Your attitude not your aptitude will determine your altitude.” ~ Zig Ziglar
    • “If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.”-Charles R. Swindoll
    • Optimists make friends, earn respect, close sales, produce loyal clients, and others enjoy and want to be like them.  Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?
    • Video: Finish Strong It’s more than a statement, it’s an attitude.
    • Video: Finish Strong Teen Athlete any teen athlete can learn from it.
    • Video: The Power of Attitude
    • The best way to turn an ugly attitude into a beautiful one was by doing good. Wherever we have the opportunity,  we should do good to everyone. When you do good things for others, good things come back to you.
    • Seeing the bad in the world and in people isn’t difficult or wise or insightful–it’s lazy. – Chip Gaines, TV show host
    • Change attitude and watch your blood pressure drop.
    •  ‘Believe me, every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftimes we call a man cold when he is only sad.’-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Inspire, motivate, encourage others around you. Bless them. You may never know how much it means and how far they will go because of your kind words.
    • Always leave people better than you found the. Hug the hurt. Kiss the broken. Befriend the lost. Love the lonely.
    • Anger is an  acid  that can do more harm to the vesselin which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain.
    • You reap what you sow. And that goes for attitudes. Angry thoughts attract anger. Frustration creates more frustration. Bitterness begets bitterness. The opposite is true. Kindness brings more kindness, positivity attracts positive people. Love creates more love.
    • Anyone can make a small gesture of kindness to another person that can effect change in the world.
    •  For whatever a man might sow, that also he will reap. … in all this–“with what measure ye meet, it shall be measured to you again.” Galatians 6:7. (Kindness returns,)
    • No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever waster. –Aesop
    • I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. I expect to pass through this world but once. -Stephen Grellet
    • Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together–Goethe
    • Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battle they are fighting. They may have just learned they or a loved one has had cancer.
    • With kindness you can inspire, motivate and encourage others.
    • We can focus on kindness to make this world better. Kind kids grow up to be kind adults.When we teach kids to describe their acts of kindness the acts of kindness kids do is amazing.
    • The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. -Wordworth
    • You can never tell when you do an act just what the result will be; for with every deed you are sowing a seed–though its harvest you may never see.
    • You will never regret being kind.
    • We can give support to others and balance their fears with our faith. We cannot rely on others to do our believing. We each must have faith of our own, but sometimes another person can say just the right thing and it makes another’s life happier and they feel more secure.
    • Beauty is found in someone who is kind, happy and authentic. – Bobbi Brown Cosmetics company founder.
    • Smiling is  one of the best beauty secrets.
    • You can respect and learn from people, even if you don’t like them. Be aware that you can learn something from everyone, because every person in the world knows something you don’t know.
    • You can learn from everyone. No matter if you like them or don’t like them you can learn something, whether it is how to or how not to.
    • Treating all people with respect is a wonderful gift to carry throughout life. It costs nothing to treat someone with respect.
    • No matter what their perceived social standing to be treat everyone like they have worth-like they are important, because they are.  Include others in conversation.
    • Respect a man, he will do the more. – James Howell
    • He that respects not, is not respected. – English Proverb
    • If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are. – John W. Gardner
    • Reap what you sow-  good  or bad. Just like Luke 6:38: Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 
    • You are one in 7.5 billion people in the world and it does not circle around you. Give to others. 
    • “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” – Sri Ram
    • The important thing is not what happens in life, but choices you make in response to what happens to you.
    • ‘Your past is nothing to do with your future. You can make life how you want it to be and you just need to take control of your life. Don’t let your parents’ life be yours.’  Fight through, life is what you make it. Story: here

See attitude under success

EDUCATION

  • Education is where it all begins. The more you learn, the more you earn.
  • If you don’t read, you can’t write, and if you can’t write, you might as well stop dreaming. – Miss Bessie
  • No child can get all the necessary support at home and million of poor children get no support at all. That is what makes a wise, educated, warm hearted teacher  so vital to the minds, hearts and souls of this country’s children. -unknown
  • Free education is abundant, all over the Internet. It’s the desire to learn that’s scarce. – Naval Ravikant, Entrepreneur
  • World Class Schools offer FREE courses 
  • Discounts for Seniors going back to school
  • education for-seniors

RESPONSIBILITY AND MATURITY

  • Embrace your mistakes. Sometimes you have to break the cake to eat it. 
  • Everybody makes mistakes. Some people won’t own up to them, but taking responsibility for them shows maturity.
  • Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you have celebrated.
  • Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence. Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of a long-term gain.
    Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks.
    Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.
    Maturity is being big enough to say, “I was wrong.” And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.”
  • Maturity doesn’t just come with age, but by the acceptance of responsibility. Accept personal responsibility. We are not victims. Do not blame your parents, siblings, husband, wife, teachers, officials, kids, neighbors political leaders, police. Everything is not someone else’s fault. Don’t be like ‘fault-finding, entitlement immersed society’ blaming others.
  • Maturity is knowing that silence is more powerful than having the last word.
  • Maturity is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.  getting along with others
  • You can allow yourself to be a victim, or you can be the kind of person who understands that you have to take charge.  Humiliation you feel can spur the will to improve your lot. Realize it isn’t right to be hurt all the time, to be scared. There is something better in life….and you deserve it.
  • Don’t find fault; find a remedy.–Henry Ford
  • Forget blame. Your results are your responsibility.  It is not the fault of the government, the economy, your boss, your in-laws, our spouse, or the weather. You are where you are in life because of the actions you have taken.-Larry  Winget
  • “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis
  • Choice, not chance, determines human destiny. – God’s Little Instruction Book II
  • You can’t make excuses in the real world. Just do your best.
  • When a winner makes a mistake he says, “I was wrong”; when a loser makes a mistake he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
  •  In the biblical story of Jonah, his stubborn actions threatened the lives of everyone around him on the ship that day. Deep inside, Jonah knew he was to blame but he didn’t want to face it, until it was nearly too late. Finally he asked, “Is it I , Lord?”
  • You are responsible for your own actions. Be accountable for your own actions- learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. (Those who do nothing never make mistakes.)
  • Responsibility leads to success. Being responsible means playing by the rules. It’s not true that rules are made to be broken. If you work hard and are responsible for your own actions, play by the rules you can accomplish anything.
  • We take care of what we are given responsibility for. A pet is one of the first things a child learns with.

SUCCESS see also goals

  • Success is going to bed with a clear conscience, knowing you have been kind to all in the past 24 hours.
  • Success is when you have achieved inner peace despite life’s hardships and imperfections.
  • The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success.
  • Success is to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
  • Successful people fear failing, criticism, and letting others down. That is why they try so hard,  why the pay attention to detail to get every possible duck in a row.  (Teachers on the first day of school, nurses making life-or-death decisions, first time moms.) Careers are built because of nervousness.
  • “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” — Jim Rohn
  • Successful people are those who have fallen off the horse a dozen times  and gotten back on a dozen times. -Wheelchair racer Jean Driscoll, eight time winner of the Boston Marathon
  • If you fall, dust yourself off and try again. If you break your arm, it will heal. Learn how to tumble to prevent such an error-but never stop jumping. Performance is the only true measure of the worth of an individual–not rank, title, status, fame or money.
  • Be hardworking, focused and willing to put whatever is necessary to achieve goals. Here is  how successful people accomplish more
  • Better encounter a danger than live in continual fear.–William H. Browne
  • When we relinquish the need for perfection and go of the fear of not being perfect–we find freedom, joy and all the other good stuff we want in life.
  • Pres Reagan was nervous when he stumped that he open his speeches with a joke to get a quick victory (laughter) from his audience.
  • Success is completing one thing each day that will be a help or a blessing to another.
  • Success is not wealth, but character. Those who are most successful live happy lives and have happy relationships. They never say a bad word about anyone and everyone likes and admires them.
  • Success is those who are called “friend” by all who know them because they are loving, kind, supportive, and generous with their time and talents.
  • If you want to succeed, be willing to assume responsibilities and to work to the highest level of your capabilities.
  • Make the most of what you have, do the best you can when it counts, and expect a good outcome for your efforts.
  • People who are most successful in life do not get to the top because of what happens to them; they get to the top because of how they react to what happens to them.
  • Success is not something to wait for, it’s something to work for.
  • To be successful in business, be daring, be first, be different. – William Marchant
  • The two leading recipes for success are building a better mousetrap and finding a bigger loophole. -Edgar A Shoaff
  •  If you don’t get everything you want, think of things you do get that you don’t want.
  • How you think is everything, so be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.
  • Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift; that the power to work is a blessing that love of work is success.
  • In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success. Proverbs 3:6
  • Trust God, for no matter what you face, He can always pull you through.
  • Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible.
  • When fear comes, faith must follow.
  • Even when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, because of God’s faithfulness we can still trust that it is there.

TIME MANAGEMENT

      • The ability to concentrate and to use your time well is everything. Since college, I’ve worked hard during the week and, except for periods of crisis, kept my weekends free for family and recreation. Every Sunday night I get the adrenaline going by making a list of what I want to accomplish during the coming week. I’m amazed by the number of people who can’t seem to control their own schedules. Over the years, may executives have said to me with pride: “Boy, I worked so hard last year that I didn’t take a vacation.” I always feel like responding: “You dummy. You mean to tell me that you can take responsibility for an eight-million dollar project and you can’t plan two weeks out of the year to have some fun?- Iococca, with William Novak (Bantam)
      • Give it your best shot for the next 3 hours, then set work aside and go do something fun. Never work on Fri night, Sat or Sun.
      • ability to concentrate and to use your time well is everything if you want to succeed in business.
      • Sunday write out list of plans to accomplish by making an outline.
      • To make good use of your time, know what is important and give it all you have.
      • To become a problem solver learn to establish priorities.

FRIENDS

      • Video: Friends Celebrating the joys of friendship
      • To stay young, keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)  (See aging)
      • Your friends are your greatest treasure.
      • Birds of a feather flock together while eagles soar.
      • Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. -Life’s Little Instruction Book
      • You really are judged by the company you keep. You are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose your five wisely, making sure you choose the right ones. They are like the army you go through life with.
      • Know your friends, but know your enemies better. (Know their tactics.)
      • Believing the best in people usually brings out the best in them.
      • In everyone’s life there is usually one so-called friend who is more like a trouble maker. They may do nice things, but basically they are malevolent.
      • Keep good company or none. Good company and good conversation are the sinews of virtue. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. 

1936 How to Win Friends and Influence people – Dale Carnegie  went from a poor Missouri farm boy making five cents per hour to an international success making a dollar a minute teaching executives “how to win friends and influence people” .

      • Become really interested in others. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
      • See things, as often as possible, from their point of view (the honey-versus-vinegar approach).
      • Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
      • Smile! A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. People with smiles get higher “cuteness” ratings!
      • Smiling increases your face value.
      • Giving a smile to another may be the best thing that happens to them all day.
      • All people smile in the same language.
      • Your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. – unknown
      • Look for strength in people, not weakness; good, not evil. Most f us find what we search for.
      • Make others feel important, using appreciation rather than flattery.  Praise people. If you are trying to change someone, praise every slight improvement.
      • Anything scarce is valuable; praise, for example.
      • Learn to give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you’ll have no time for the criticism of others.
      • Find the good and praise it.
      • Be direct in praising and indirect in criticizing.
      • Let people “save face.” If you have an idea you want someone to adopt, let him think the idea is his.
      • If you are trying to win someone to you way of thinking as a last resort throw down the challenge ) the “I bet you can’t do it” approach.

MAKING LOTS OF FRIENDS- ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE OTHERS – Showing Love See Rejection

      • “One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.” — Mother Teresa
      • The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. —Mother Teresa
      • “..it’s awful not to be loved. It’s the worst thing in the world…It makes you mean, and violent, and cruel.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
      • There is no limit to how much you can love.
      • Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.1 Corinthians 13:4-7
      • One of the basic needs of human nature is to be accepted. We fear rejection and somehow get the idea that we are only worth what other people think we are worth. We allow their personal ups and downs to put limits on our self image and the opinions we hold on most everything. but they, also, have a need for acceptance and look for someone else to supply it. Looking for approval can become a vicious circle where people hang together in tight little knots for ego preservation. We forget that self-acceptance is a necessity. When we have earned our own self-respect, gained our own self-confidence, we no longer have to worry about who likes us. We’ve been searching for ourselves in other people and it’s an inside job, a need to be centered and poised in our own self-identity. – Joyce Hifler
      • Ego is just an overdressed insecurity,
      • I think half or almost all of the pain in the world…is people not feeling seen. It’s like Mr. Rogers, my hero, says: Love is at the root of everything….love or the lack of it. –Constance Wu, actor
      • When you speak to a person always look into their eyes. People are  hungry for acknowledgement, eye contact, which social media has taken away.
      • How you say it counts! Studies show that 38% of your meaning is conveyed by how you sound.
      • Concentrate on making others feel special. Try to live so that people miss you when you are gone.
      • Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2 (NASB)
      • Be a calming presence. A touch of a hand and a gentle caress are all ways to make an emotional connection.
      • Be the person you needed when you were younger.
      • Find ways to include everyone. Make them feel as if there is nothing more valuable than the time you are able to spend with them.
      •  Most people need love and acceptance more than they need advice. -Bob Goff, motivational speaker.
      • The sanest thing in this world is love. —Anne Sexton
      • Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a message of acceptance for those who appear different.
      • When you meet a quiet person, remember ‘Still waters run deep.”
      • Bringing out the best in others is the mark of a successful person.
      • Not every person looks a certain way. Each is unique, rare, one of a kind.
      • See situations through a different lens: Try to look at things through the other person’s eyes.
      • Look people in eye. Eyes are the window of the soul.
      • Always acknowledge anything anyone does for you with a genuine thank you. You are not entitled! Send a thank you card, a thank you e-mail or pick up the phone and make the call immediately. (You know how it feels to not be thanked.) Always say “thank you” and not the kind of half-hearted utterance you gave at age three when Mom was standing over you, prompting you. (God, too, likes to hear a thank you.)
      • Write thank you notes to those you are grateful to have in your life. hair stylist and friends. You never know how many you will touch with your kindness Readers Digest rd.com March 2019
      •  “Pay it forward” when someone does something nice for you.
        Just a thought: So many have done kind things for me in my life.  If I had tried to pay forward just a single kindness for every act of kindness I had received over the years and each of those people did one the same, think how wonderful this world would be.
      • Treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world–because they are important. If not to you, then to someone; and if not today, then perhaps tomorrow. -From the Book The Power of nice.
      • A wonderful story about the importance of paying attention to others and being kind to them.  Wanting to graduate with a perfect GPA Walt had spent many hours studying and had maintained a 4.0 average all the way through college. On the final exam in his business course the teacher handed out the exam but both sides were blank. The professor explained: “I’ve taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last 10 weeks, but in your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.” The last question which would count toward the quiz grade was: What’s the name of the lady who cleans this building?” Walt handed in his paper, leaving that last question blank. “It was the only test I ever failed. I didn’t graduate with a perfect GPA. I got the ‘B’ I deserved. Her name was Dorothy (Dottie), and I didn’t know Dorothy. I’d seen her, but I’d never taken the time to ask her name. This was one of the biggest most important career lessons I ever learned and I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve tried to know every Dorothy I’ve worked with ever since.” -Walt is Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab.
      • His experience is a great reminder of what really matters in life. We meet many people every week – clients, customers, colleagues, the checkout girl at the grocery store, the guy at the toll booth. Each one is significant.
      • Be present and passionate about people. Be on the lookout for Dorothy, quiet leaders and silent heroes. Each person who crosses our path gives us an opportunity to acknowledge them, even if it’s just a smile and a hello. The greatest gift we could give another is to truly see them.  Make eye contact with people  and speak. If you see someone frequently  learn their name and use it when you speak to them.

EGO

      •  Fighting for something- If you truly believe in your soul that the world would be a better place, that the course of history and your corner of mankind  will truly be better stand up and be a man. But, if you know in your heart, deep down inside, the it doesn’t really matter, except to you and your ego, then be a real man.  Even though you were right:  Apologize for an argument, even if you aren’t wrong. You don’t need to be wrong to apologize for an argument. It is a great way to smooth over a disagreement.  Because  a man should only stand up for the things that truly matter.
      • You got to know what you know and then have enough intelligence and little enough ego to say, “This is where I need help”. Sterling K. Brown

APPRECIATION see acknowledge

      • Video Appreciation Thank someone today who has touched your life.
      • Thank a Veteran. They are willing to go, in your place, to fight to keep America free. This is the very least you can do to honor them. (REMEMBER: We honor Veterans on Nov 11th each year. Memorial Day is a day to honor those who lost their lives in war, not everyone else who has passed.   PLEASE don’t get them confused.)
      • Acknowledge grandparents and siblings birthdays
      • When someone lets you in, in traffic, acknowledge their kindness with a wave….and be sure that you too, let others in, in traffic.
      • Never pass up an opportunity to tell all janitors, cooks, gardeners and garbage collectors you encounter each day how much their work means to the world.  (Notes of appreciation to the people who make your life better – the local police dept, the neighbor who rototills your garden, the manager of the grocery store, friends, members of the church, the postmaster, family members, pastor, neighbors, former teachers, classmates, clerks at Walmart.  The gratitude  from people who may have never been told they were appreciated will warm your heart.   This costs you nothing and can mean the world to someone.)
      • “You’re welcome” connotes that you’ve done something worthy of thanks—and thus that you are worthy of respect. If you want to inspire respect, say “You’re welcome” rather than “No problem”.

ALONE- LONELINESS

  • We each crave being accepted by others because society has taught us that being accepted by others is a sign of our value in the world. When we don’t feel acceptance by society we feel like we aren’t visible or a voice. We feel alone, isolated and scared and there is no place for us in the world. We can each nurture others by being a voice and ally for those who feel unaccepted. In doing so, we become free to we accept ourselves and live a life of authenticity.
  • Rest inGod, who already holds you safely in His hands.
  • We are all in this life together. It would be awful to think that you are alone. We need other people. Sometimes it takes a stranger to show you that even in a time of need you are never alone.
  • The best way to have a friend is to be one.
  • Tom Cruise, Elon Must and Joanna Gaines were lonely (See under bullies)

JESUS

  • Jesus never says, ‘Get cleaned up and then come in.’ He says, ‘Come in. I’ll clean you up.’  -Max Lucado
  • Jesus does want to speak to us–today. In our own language, just as a friend would speak. Take time to listen. (Wally Armstrong)
    ~~~~~~~

MANUAL WORKERS DESERVE A HAND – HOLD `LOWLY’ PROFESSIONS IN HIGH ESTEEM  By Abigail Van Buren  Published: June 17, 1992 12:00 am

DEAR ABBY: I cannot forget a letter you had in your column some time ago. It was written by a person who didn’t know what to say when he (or she) was asked what he did for a living. From the tone of the letter I concluded that the person was working for minimum wage, or doing some kind of manual labor of which he was somewhat ashamed.

This, coupled with the following remark a school principal made to my son, prompts this letter. My son was having problems in school, so his teacher took him to the principal. In talking to my son, the principal asked, “Do you want to be a ditchdigger all your life?” My son replied, “What’s wrong with being a ditchdigger? It’s honest work.”The principal called me to school because of my son’s “smart mouth.” When the principal repeated what my son had said, I responded: “Nothing was wrong with what he said. If there were no ditchdiggers we’d be up to our necks in water and filth.” I also told the principal he was dead wrong to demean ditchdiggers, and repeated what my son had said. “It’s honest work.”

Then I went on to say: “I am a professional who works with professionals, and I get really steamed when my co-workers look down on people who are minimum-wage laborers. If no one picked up the garbage, cleaned the septic tanks, laid sewage pipes, picked the crops and worked in the fields, where would we be? This country was founded on hard work – most of it manual labor. Pride comes in doing the best you can with whatever talents you possess.”

I will close with a comment I heard a long time ago. I don’t know the author, but it goes something like this:”Use what talents you possess, for the woods would be silent if no birds sang except the best.” – C.V.J.

      • God has given each of us a talent. Why should we allow  anything get in our way of fulfilling it –from doing what we have been given the ability to do?
      • First prize doesn’t go to the most talented–again and again the man who wins is the one who is sure he can. Great drive, powerful determination,
      • Unwrapped talent. There are more ‘talented’ people who are failures and more ‘untalented’ people who are successes, proving that talent is not the most essential ingredient.
      • God only knows what slumbering talents are awaiting to be aroused. Always let your future desires and never your past defeats set your goals for you.
      • Tackle those things even if they are hard–and you will accomplish your goal with the energy other persons use trying to dodge the inevitable.
      • Celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.
      • If we all expected to win or succeed at everything we put our minds to, it would make every day filled with great expectation.  When expectation is a lifestyle, you move toward your expectations (goals) daily. Expectation is what will keep you optimistic in the worst situation.
      • Jim Poppen, a farmers son was an underachiever in high school--judged to be below average in intelligence and talent–went to medical school and was the world famous brain surgeon summoned when Robert Kennedy was shot in the head.
      • The man who booted the longest field goal in pro football history did the impossible because no one told him that it was impossible.  He was born with only half a right foot and a deformed right arm and hand. He played outstanding high school and college football but professional teams didn’t think he was pro material. He wouldn’t accept it because he never learned bot give up.  He finally became a player with the St. Louis Saints. He later said his coaches were so busy encouraging him that he forgot to tell them that he couldn’t.
      • There is evidence that an all consuming drive can create talent where talent presumable doesn’t exist.  Be a disciplined, determined, dedicated and undefeated dreamer who is driven by an all consuming desire to succeed.
      • Nothing is written in stone. You create your future in the things you do today.
      • Make a list of all the things you think you do well and make a list of those things you would like to do well. (What interests or excites you?) Examine your God given talents. Analyze both lists. Discover the undiscovered talents within you, but think realistically. They are there. Look for them.
      • If you don’t get what you want in life, you have to make the best of what you get.

~~~~~~~~~~~

WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS A LOSS

      • Those whom we support hold us up in life, so show kindness and compassion; be supportive of all.
      • Even the smallest acts can leave an incalculable impact.We may do something for someone else that we don’t even remember, but it may cause that other person’s life to turn in some positive way.
      • Express sympathy  when a friend loses one they love–flowers, a call, a card, a casserole, a listening ear,  mow their yard or just show up and don’t ask what you can do. Never say, “Call me if you need something!” They need it, they just don’t know what it is as their mind isn’t clear. Figure out what needs to be done and just do it!  Grand words are meaningless, but thoughtful actions are timeless.   This is endearing to some and will help make friends even better friends.
      • If you don’t know someone well and they mention that they lost someone at least tell them you are sorry for their loss and you hope they find peace.
      • Showing up as a witness to someone else’s loss is a vital expression of our own humanity. (On attending the funeral when someone you care about loses a loved one.)   Ask Amy 12/19/18
      • When someone is hurting respond to their pain, without being thrown by their behavior. Simply open your heart and be fully present to them.; move toward their suffering instead of away from it. They may be feeling deep regret, that they have let their loved one down, by spending so much time working or maybe they didn’t say I love you enough. Use their memories to remind them of their gestures of affection and acts of loyalty and sacrifice. Maybe they worked the long hours away from home to support them or put  in overtime to pay for their meds. Long hours with them at an oncology clinic and building a wheel chair ramp, so their loved one could go outside are expressions of love.

      Kindness, Encouraging Inspiring others….Consideration of Others Because Rudeness is the weak persons imitation of strength.  ~ unknown

      • You are only as good as your last impression.
      • Doing a kindness every day will give your life true meaning (365 days of Kindness)
      • Kindness can be given freely,  but the rewards are great.
      • When you die do you want people to exclaim, “She looked ten years younger,” or do we want them to say, “She lived a great life”? (Why hope to live a long life if we are only going to fill it with self-absorption, body maintenance and image repair?) – Letty Cottin Pogrebin
      • Build your own cheering squad by being kind to others.
      • When you have the opportunity to embarrass someone, instead help them and continue to do so. You feel good when you help others.
      • Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. but being a gentleman is a matter of choice.- Vin Diesel, actor
      • Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations –Richter
      • It is never crowded along the extra mile.
      • Encourage others and in doing so you ensure they will succeed.
      • Inspire others to inspire others Hebrews 10:24 Your encouragement can make all the difference in their life.  see leadership
      • You never diminish yourself when you praise another.
      • How you see yourself is how others should see you. Ignoring someone activates the part of his brain that registers physical pain, so shutting him out actually hurts him.  If you are mad and raise your voice it is better than acting as thought the other person doesn’t exist.
      • Live in such a way that those who know you but don’t know God will come to know God because they know you.
      • We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. -Mother Teresa.
      • The best way to ensure that your children grow to become kind and compassionate adults is to teach them how to be kind and compassionate children- Kathryn Sansone, mother of 10.
      • All moments are teachable.
      • If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t really understand it.- Bill Gates
      • Simple acts of kindness are the key to restoring hope and bringing fresh strength to those who are desperate to believe that someone cares. Eye contact with a cheerful good morning, a kind word, a smile or holding the door for another are all actions of love. The day you truly understand the incredible power of love you will never look back.
      • The Magic of Kindness – The Power of Kindness The most effective technique for transforming your life is Simple…just be a little kinder. What you do matters. Teacher teaches children with Acts of Kindness cards and sees the potential. Orly Wahba (Look for opportunity to share loving kindness.)
      • Thinking about others first, above yourself, is the ultimate act of kindness.
      • What is charity? It is silence–when your words would hurt. It is patience–when your neighbor is curt. It is deafness– when a scandal flows. It is thoughtfulness– for others woes. It is promptness–when a duty calls. It is courage–when misfortune falls. (Elizabeth Sherrill)
      • The desire of power in excess caused the angels to fall; The desire of knowledge in excess caused man to fall; But in charity there is no excess, neither can angel or man come in danger by it. – Francis Bacon
      • To be philanthropic is to give something, to be charitable is to give one’s own heart.
      • Be kind. Other people are as intuitive as you are, and judge  you just as you do them. And remember that before you judge them….there is always another side; suspend judgment. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes when you feel judgmental.
      • Until we know all, we should not pass judgment on all
      •  Before you assume- learn the facts. Before you judge- seek to understand. Before you hurt someone- place yourself in their shoes. Before you leave- commit to work through it first.
      • Kind words make good echoes.
      • At the end of your time here on earth, the world will either be more or less kind, compassionate, generous, funny, creative and loving because of your presence in it–and you alone get to choose. – John Pavlovitz
      • Use your time wisely. None of us know how long we (or our loved ones) will be here. Life can change forever, in the blink of an eye.
      • God places each of us in this world so that there will be more compassion and caring, there will be more laughter and joy, that there will be more togetherness in His world. We each have a part in making it happen.
      • Be considerate. Your actions affect others, and other people’s feelings are just like your own.
      • Whether it be treasure, time or talent, we all have something to offer. – Chris Pratt, actor
      • Acts are wrong if they insult the dignity of others. Poverty is an insult to dignity; a helplessness.
      • Never focus on how much another person makes.  Focus on what one brings to society.
      • In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
      • Just as you do before zooming out in traffic, when walking in a crowd ALWAYS glance around and over your shoulder before you veer off . You do not want to look like a clumsy galoot  knocking down  someone coming from behind and  going around you.
      • Hold open doors for both ladies and anyone older than you, allowing them to enter ahead of you.
      • When you see an older person, notice if there is anything you can do for them. At Grandpa and Grandma’s offer to put the sack of potting soil in the garage, change a light bulb that has burned out, trim the bushes. It costs you nothing but will mean the world to them.
      • Tact is the ability to shut your mouth before someone wants to do it for you.
      • After returning someone to their car or home, NEVER drive away until they get into the house safely or get their car moving. No one wants to be stranded.
      • A gentleman always sees a lady to the door (which means he stays with her to the end).
      • Always  make your bed at other people’s homes, which means to always leave things better than you found them. Give the host a gift or take them out to eat. Add value to everything.
      •  Never park in someone else’s  driveway, even if it is a good friends house.  It is rude to take over another’s space.
      • Say “You’re welcome”, not “no problem”, which implies that it might have been a problem.
      • Good manners sets you apart from the crowd. Beyond the obvious….don’t smack when you eat, don’t “fake laugh”…don’t be loud… wait your turn…use polite words…listen carefully…cooperate with others…show your appreciation…give compliments,
      • Nobody likes a selfish person who always lets others get the check. Don’t be a “mooch”! Reach for the bill once in awhile, and ALWAYS pay when you are the one who suggested going out. (It doesn’t matter if it is grandma and grandpa. Don’t be a jerk.) Takers may sometimes eat better, but the givers always sleep better. He who gives while he lives knows where it goes.
      • A gentleman who had been incarcerated said his favorite thing about being out was paying bills; paying rent as he felt like he was contributing to society.
      • Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Plato
      •  Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel. —King Solomon
      • Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not. —Paulo Coelho
      •  My every thought has the power either to wound or heal. I will use my thoughts wisely and respect their power. —Deepak Chopra
      •  Before you speak, ask yourself: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence? —Unknown
      •  We are never so much disposed to quarrel with others as when we are dissatisfied with ourselves. —William Hazlitt
      •  All the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. —Yogic sages
      • The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. —Henry David Thoreau

      THE PAST / REGRETS/ GUILT/ Past, Present and Future/ RESENTMENT See forgiveness and depression

      • Guilt serves no purpose. You can’t go back and change one thing that has happened. Forgive yourself and move on.  -Larry  Winget
      • Suffering over things that have happened to us is nothing more than an argument with the past. -Byron Katie
      • As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if  I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison. Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.  – Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years imprisoned in South Africa for simply protesting Apartheid, that country’s system of legal discrimination based on race.  (Carrie Fisher, actress said it as “resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.)
      • Unresolved regrets that only God can relieve us of, a God whose arms are big enough to wrap around anyone.
      • God gave us only two arms. If we hang on to the past,  we can’t embrace the future.
      • Never underestimate the power of tomorrow.   -Inspired by Jeremiah 29:11 
      • Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
      • Time erases the hurt of some memories, but  often something small happens to bring the pain again.  There is no reason to allow ourselves to be controlled by the past.       Face the hurt by understanding  that memory is like a broken record, driving us nuts as it plays over and over in our mind.  Nobody has use for an old broken record. Move on.   Don’t trip over what is behind you.
      • Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.
      • Learn from your mistakes. Change what is hard.
      • Life is change. Growth is optional. – Maria Taylor
      • No limit for better. Keep changing until  you get it as close to being right as you can.
      • You can’t do anything about what is gone, but you can do something about what is left. Plan to  arrive at the finish line with no regrets.
      • You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. —Wayne Dyer
      • In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.
      • Winning doesn’t always mean coming in first, but arriving at the finish line with no regrets.
      • The past is a place of reference, not a place of residency. – Willie Jolley
      •  Yesterday is a cancelled check. There is nothing you can do other than refer to it and learn. Tomorrow is a promissory note. It may or may not pay off. Today is the only cash you have for sure, so spend it wisely. Find a way to utilize today to the ultimate degree while planning and preparing for those things tomorrow that we want to experience. ”
      • Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
      • You can’t start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one.-Unknown
      • Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools”- Unknown
      • Don’t stress the could-haves. If it should have, it would have.
      • When we realize we deserve more, the world will open up. When we realize the past is no longer welcome in our future, our hearts can again open up.
      • Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past because of one simple reason….they just don’t belong in our future.
      • Don’t let the past steal your present.  – Cherralea Morgen
      • One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one’s reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present.” – S.N. Goenka
      • “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” – Bob Proctor
      •  “We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” – Robin Sharma
      •  “The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.” – Celestine Chua
      • “Be present — it is the only moment that matters.” – Peaceful Warrior
      • “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” – B. Olatunji
      •  “Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.” – Ann Landers
      • “Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever.” – Deepak Chopra

      DO SOMETHING…    BEGIN  JUST DO IT…as Norman Vincent Peale always used to say….Don’t procrastinate…don’t let fear stop you

      • Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen. –Unknown
      • If you don’t like something, don’t just gripe about it. You have the opportunity to figure out what you can do about it, and then do it!
      • “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
      • The greatest of all mistakes is to do absolutely nothing because you can only do a little.
      • The most important things is simply to get off your butt and doing something. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who will do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer. –Nolan Bushnell
      • Ideas get drowned out because most of us spend too much time worrying about how successful or unsuccessful we will be and how little we are focusing on the task. – unknown.
      • Ideas are one thing and what happens is another -John Cage
      • The half-baked ideas of people are better than the ideas of half-baked people. – Professor William B. Shockley
      • The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. -Whitney Griswold
      • When facing a daunting task   it can seem overwhelming. Remember that even the greatest things are simply make up  the very small- so small we can do each one easily.   A huge brick building is put together one brick at a time. Patience to work steadily, at our own pace, will see a tremendous job completed.
      • The world comprises in large part two kinds of people-those who say it can’t be done, and those who go ahead and do it anyway. -Paul Harvey
      • Stop worrying so much and enjoy the journey.
      • It is never too late to be what you might have been.  -George Eliot
      • “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
      • “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill
      • A bird in a cage is safe but God didn’t create birds for that. —Unknown
      • “Begin the thing and ye shall have the power. But those who do not begin have not the power.”
      • “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi
      • Begin now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. – Paula Best
      •  There is one grand lie: that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe. —Wayne Dyer
      • “Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.”–James Cook
      •  The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.–Anthony Robbins
      • You being to move mountains when you start carrying away small stones.
      • Inch by inch, its a cinch.
      • “The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
      • Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back. —Harvey MacKay
      •  “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ~Elbert Hubbard
      • Don’t mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it. If it is unfair, keep from irritation. If it is ignorant, smile. If it is justified, learn from it.
      • A boat is safe in the harbor. But this is not the purpose of a boat. – Paulo Coelho
      • Stop whining!   Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle.
      •  “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do” –Mark Twain
      • “Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John R. Wooden
      •  “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.”–Arthur Ashe
      •  Life is not a dress rehearsal. Stop practicing what you’re going to do and just do it!
      • Be specific and state the facts as they happened with dates and times and a copy of your bill or ticket. Clearly ask for compensation and an apology or a refund. If you think you are owed money ask for a realistic amount. If your first letter goes unanswered, send a second.                Shocked, appalled and dismayed.

      HELPING OTHERS IN NEED/  VOLUNTEERING /  THE JOY OF GIVING/ SHARING/ FINDING OUR PURPOSE/COMPASSION See happiness and Caregivers

      • What you share with the world is what it keeps of you.
      • When you see someone helping others, you see Jesus- the fireman going up the stairs at Twin Towers, the young Asian woman helping the Pakistani woman. In the caring generous, giving people of a competitive, me-first world. You will see Jesus in their face. There will be  a glow about them. Wherever darkness threathens to overwhelm us-wherever love glows on a human face.
      • Give something to someone else every day. You always have resources, even if you don’t have the extra money. A word of encouragement, a book to pass along, a prayer, a candy bar to share. Doing so  will show that you have enough. With God in your corner, you are enough.  That’s what it takes to give away stuff. Trust in the God who said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow”.
      • When you save a little money by getting a discount for something put that money aside to give away. It won’t cover another’s medical expenses but when they receive it, it is a sign to them that God knows and cares about their situation.
      • This great God has written his law in our hearts, by which, we are taught and commanded to love and help and to do good to one another. William Penn (1644-1718)
      • Feeling needed provides a sense of satisfaction and a purpose for living.  (To eat and drink and find satisfaction in all your toil- this is the gift of God- Ecclesiastes 2:24 and 3:13)
      •  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33           As we help others God will provide for us.
      • If you have some knowledge that can help a person, then you should share it and not expect anything in return. What you’ll find is, somewhere down the line, it will come back to you. It may not necessarily be from the person whom you helped. Just as with anything in life, you get out of it what you put in it.
      • If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something I can neither give  nor receive.
      • We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it, than to consume wealth without producing it. – George Bernard Shaw.
      • The secret to happiness is putting beautiful things into the world. You can only know happy if you know sad, and if you don’t lie to yourself.
      • Happness is infectious. The happiest people are those who are at the center of a large social network.Let the hardships and strife in their life that cannot be fixed, even if they were to spend every last dollar draw them to You
        Remove from them all that has been easy. Bind curse of beauty on outside and an ugly self-centered heart. on the inside. Allow her enough to have a heart overflowing with compassion.
      • Happy people focus on what is in their control. Base your happiness not on an outcome, but on your contribution or performance in achieving that outcome.
      • It is not what we gain, but what we give, measures the worth of the life we live.
      • God expects us to give our time, our resources and our love until everyone has enough.
      • You have opportunities put in front of you to deal with for a reason. If a person needs help-maybe they are sick or hungry- then help them.
      • God has  a right to a definite part of your time- He has the power to take all of it! God has a right to a definite part of your money- He has the power to take all of it! God has a right to be glorified through your tongue- He has the power to take all of it! God has a right to be honored through your influence- He has the power to take all of it! God has a right to your life- He has the power to take all of it.-unknown  (Stewardship applies to all of life, your talents, time and money.)
      •   The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.   Proverbs 11:25
      • I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me… Genesis 30:27
      • No matter where you are in the world, somebody will be worse off than you. And if you think like that, you will always have the mind-set to give back. – Priyanka Chopra, actor
      • God’s work, your hands.
      • Health might start in the body, but it extends way beyond the physical–it’s about your   connections to the world and people around you and your ability to serve and give.  -Tim McGraw
      • Each person on this planet is here for a purpose.That purpose is to care for other people and to help this world become a better place through service to others. -actor Gary Sinise
      • Sometimes our journeys might seem uncertain and without purpose, but every step we take brings us closer to understanding why we are here.- Jose Andres
      • Doing anything less than amazing is squandering the whole reason you are here.
      • Giving and faith are inextricably connected. The gift of compassion is a gift of God. Jesus’ teaching to take care of these, the least of my brethren.
      • One of my highest privileges is when I know I am being used by God to help others.-Lori Hogan  from her book, Strength for the Moment: Inspiration for Caregivers)
      • Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. Peter replied “Yes, You know I love you. Jesus responds “Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep.”
      • I have observed over and over that people seem to get a much deeper sense of fulfillment out of something they’ve done as an act of service than out of the things they do for themselves. – Actor  Edward Norton, who founded the charity Crowdrise, a social networking community for volunteers.
      • Our strongest bonds are made over meals. That type of fellowship, builds a sense of community. One of the best places to do this is definitely your church home. – Oscar winner and author Octavia Spencer.Volunteering at a soup kitchen feels great for the volunteer serving the food. However, the person receiving the food, while they are very appreciative, they don’t feel valued. They don’t feel as if they are part of the community. In fact, those in need often feel alienated and ostracized from society. At our ‘Meet Your Neighbor’ events no one serves one another. Everyone eats together. The focus is that we are one neighborhood, we look at each other an we eat with one another because we are all neighbors, part of one community. All too often, we assume we know what our neighbor may need and forget to ask how we can help. Feeling valued and being a part of a community is one of the greatest gifts you can give. – Adina Lichtman who started the non-profit Knock Knock, Give a Sock.
      •  “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” — Audrey Hepburn
      • Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others. – Danny Thomas
      • What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. Albert Pike
      • As one thinketh in his heart, so is he.
      • The more successful a person, the less inclined to make excuses. Mediocre make excuses why they don’t, can’t aren’t, haven’t.  (Roosevelt had no legs, Truman no college, Eisenhower head heart attack. ) Excuses become deeper imbedded into ypur subconscious each time you make them. It is a disease.
      • Success is not the key to happiness. The key to happiness is love….They key to happiness is forgiveness.
      • The key to success is living a God-centered and Holy Spirit led life.  You don’t have to see to believe; you have to believe to see.
      • There are no keys to success – only tools to great achievements.
      • Every man’s work is a portrait of himself.
      • If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.–Albert Einstein
      • Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. – George S. Patton
      • Nothing recedes like success. –Walter Winchell
      • Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking that they can’t lose.–Bill Gates
      • Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal. –Mike Ditka
      • In the United States there’s a Puritan ethic and a mythology of success. He who is successful is good. In Latin countries, in Catholic countries, a successful person is a sinner. –Umberto Eco.
      • The secret of achievement is not to let what you’re doing get to you before you get to it.
      • The key to achievement is to never sacrifice happiness for the sake of achievement. Success as defined by the world does not mean automatic happiness. The harder you chase it the less happy you will be. Satan will cause you to pursue it relentlessly for his own purpose.
      • Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently.
      • Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm- “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that it won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
      • If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded.
      • Nobody likes to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn’t dirty, you haven’t been in the game. -Ben Bernanke
      • Every production of genius must be the production of enthusiasm. -Benjamin Disraeli
      • Emotions run high. Control your enthusiasm (and anxiety) by deliberately speaking slowly, clearly and loudly enough to be heard.
      • Pull as you climb, means to help others be successful.
      • Tolstoy and Einstein both concluded that the meaning of life is helping others. That should motivate us to do more of it. People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.
      • The meaning of life is to find your gift.  The purpose of life is to give it away.~ Pablo Picasso
      • The River Principle– Our life is like a river, not a reservoir. God will give to us what He knows will flow through us.
      • Helping those who are  vulnerable and in need is not a burden or an obligation but an opportunity to be like Christ.    Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5
      • Giving people a hand up, not a hand out is the way forward. –Actor Hugh Jackman
      • Video: The Dash It’s not the date you were born, or the date you died, that really matters. It’s “the dash” between those years and what you do with it that does.
      • Along with paying their tithes, worshipers at Mount Caramel Missionary Baptist Church in Norfolk, VA., are paying off their bills.  “You can’t serve both your MasterCard and your Master” is Bishop C. Vernie Russell, Jr’s mantra. Once a month, he selects a family and the congregations contribute  money to pay their arrears. The average gift is $50. So far, members have donated more than $600,000 to help 70 families. Once out of debt, each family is required to give $300 to help somebody else. Russell says the debt-liquidations revivals will continue until every parishioner is debt-free.  Read the whole story here http://www.lisaarmstrong.net/forgive-us-our-debts/ or  http://www.blackenterprise.com/forgive-us-our-debts/
      • Give away some of everything you have. Prosperity flows. Keep the flow coming into your life by giving to those who need it. – Larry Winget
      • Serve others. Your rewards are in direction proportion to your service The more you serve others, the more you will be served. – Larry Winget
      • Get ‘caught in the act” of helping others. (Whether you know it or not, others do notice and someday it WILL come back around.) It’s the little things in life that matter. They mean everyting to some.  you don’t have to make a big splash. Ask yourself, Would the world be a better place if there were more people like me?
      • Be aware of others and lend a hand.
      •  Our hearts are blessed beyond measure as we serve and interact with others.
      • I’d rather be broken-hearted, than hard hearted.
      • Parents who teach their kids the simple  life lesson in how to treat people give the child a wonderful gift to  carry throughout life.
      • Sharing money is what gives it great value.  The Lord has sources of supply you cannot dream of. Do not clutch at money with closed fists. Open your hands. Give and it will be given unto you.
      • Be open to helping others. Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him. ~ Albert Schweitzer
      • Video: One Solitary Life a man who showed that what really matters is not wealth, power, or status but what you do for others.
      • It isn’t how much we have, but what we can do to ease the suffering of others.
      • Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.
      • For whom much is given, much is expected.
      • “Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book… The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better… Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.” -Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life.
      • No drive has more positive ripple effects than the desire to be of service. There are lots of resources each of us can pull from our safes to share with others — time, attention, knowledge, patience, creativity, talent, effort, humor, compassion. And sure enough, something greater rises up every time we give: the easy breathing of a friend we sit with when we had other plans, the relief on our child’s face when we share the story of our own mistake, laughter at the well-timed joke we tell to someone who is crying, the excitement of the kids in the school we send books to, the safety of the families who sleep in the shelters we fund. These immediate results are only the beginning. Their value keeps multiplying and spreading in ways we may never know.  We each come by the gifts we have to offer by an infinite series of influences and lucky breaks we can never fully understand.- Mackenzie Bezos
      •  Getting a foot in the door- That is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.- Neil Armstrong
      • Assist others whenever possible and recognize the value in all people and the commonalities we share.
      • My goal isn’t to live forever, but to create something that will- James Postoak
      • We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. -Winston Churchill
      • We make a living by what we earn, but we make a life by what we do for others.- Zachary Fisher (Fisher House)
      • Don’t just aspire to make a living. Aspire to make a difference. -Denzel Washington.
      • Those who help others often benefit as much, or more, as those they serve.
      • Helping others reduces stress and boosts overall well-being.
      • Better health can lead to a longer, more fulfilled life.
      • For health and the constant enjoyment of life, give me a keen and everpresent sense of humor; it is the next best thing to an abiding faith in Providence -George B. Cheever.
      • A lady  tells how she with a college degree was vain and proud, who  disdained a generous gift from God because it didn’t flatter her well-manicured self image. But the self image was false. God had given them food, clothes, work and their house and still they complained that they had ended up having to work as janitors.   There are verses in the Bible where Jesus tells his followers to serve others. He says to seek out the lowliest places because He too, came not to be served, but to serve. See Mark 10:45
      •  “For it is in giving that we receive.” —Saint Francis of Assisi
      • The fellow who does things that count doesn’t usually stop to count them. – from God’s Little Instruction Book
      • Volunteering-  a legal high for health and happiness
      • Volunteering provides numerous opportunities to build a social network.
      • Think of volunteer work as being internship-Some have worked into full time jobs while volunteering. Volunteering is a way to set yourself apart from others,  to get  noticed; a way to network.  Volunteering opens doors to meeting and making connections to people you would never be able to otherwise   and it looks great on your resume.
      • Volunteering can open doors
      • Networking events or business conferences  often turn into social affairs with drive by networking where you are greeted you with a quick, incoherent pitch and slap a business card into your palm (aka ‘Drive by Networking’).Some enduring relationships have been developed where people volunteer. They are low pressure, informal environments that offer the time necessary to begin the process of sharing professional and personal experiences, exploring interest, discovering values, and establishing common ground. Regardless of whether you meet an entrepreneur who operates a one-person consulting firm or a CEO who runs a multimedia enterprise, engage in meaningful conversation instead of delivering a sales pitch.   Reconnect within 48 hours with an e-mail, which is executable within minutes. Direct contact, via e-mail, enables you to bypass gatekeepers and more important, allows them to process it when they’re most receptive to your message and to response at their convenience.  (Phone calls can prove intrusive when they’re managing an appointment packed schedule.)  Business networks are exchanges.   Develop genuine relationships by taking an interest in others.   The process doesn’t happen with a single conversation and a business card. Without prodding, you should be willing to offer resources or an ear when they’re confronted with challenges. Through time and commitment, you’ll find the most valuable byproduct will be relationships that last a lifetime.  (Earl G. Graves Jr)
      • The best way to get volunteers is simply to ask. In every organization I’ve served, what got me there was being asked by someone. Ginnie Graham
    • The Truth about helping others:
      • At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry and you gave me food to eat…I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in. ~ Mother Teresa
      •  “When  Jesus returns he will  put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.  To those on his right He will tell them they are “blessed by God and will receive their inheritance, which is the kingdom prepared for them since the creation of the world. ” The reason was because when Jesus was hungry they gave Him something to eat,   something to drink when He was thirsty invited Him in when he was a stranger   clothed him, when He needed clothes, looked after Him  when He was sick and came to visit Him in prison. The righteous will ask Him  when did they do those things and Jesus will reply, that whatever they did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters* of mine, they did for Him. ’Matthew 25: 31-46
        *Whom are His brothers and sisters?  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”  –  Matthew 12:50 ESV           “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. Rev 22:12

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      JOBS / CAREER/ WORK/ OPPORTUNITY/ Encourage See goals and volunteering can work into a full time job.

        • Earning pay excites the mind more than a windfall of cash or nabbing a lottery jackpot according to Emory University researchers.
        • Plan your work and work your plan.
        • Like what you do; if you don’t like it, do something else. (If you are in a job in which you can’t be happy, then get another job.
        • Every job is a self-portrait…autograph your work with excellence.
        • What are your marketable skills? You can always work hard and reinvent yourself.
        • Every job is a self-portrait. Autograph your work with excellence.
        • No matter your profession, work isn’t the solid foundation you might want it to be. It will not bring you great joy.   Make God your  #1 priority, family second and everything else will fall into place. Your joy and strength will come from God.  Pour everything into your family.- unknown
        • Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance.
        • A man is meant to work, to go out into the world and trust in God to make his dreams come true.
        • Upbeat people are twice as likely to keep their jobs. Be kind a thoughtful. It is not beneath you to make coffee or refill the copier.
        • Some parts of your job may not be exciting, but find ways to make it rewarding. Reshape your job to fit your situation.    Enthusiasm carries us over the hump. Amazing what an enthusiastic person can accomplish. Enthusiasm released to carry us over the obstacle. Look for and create the opportunity.
        • The difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty  has an opportunity.
        • Every problem is an opportunity. Difficulties often become challenges to make you a bigger, broader, better or more beautiful person than ever before.
        • Sometimes when we go through such difficult experiences, it can feel like we’re in a never-ending winter and that spring will never come. But the greatest gifts of wisdom are often found within such challenges. I now have a heightened appreciation of everyday life and feel more deeply how precious our time on Earth is. I want to keep encouraging as many people as I can to cherish their lives. If I can help even one more person to become happy, then I’ve succeeded.- Tina Turner
        • Do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door- Sebastian Roch Nicolas
        • Do everything you can to prove you can!
        • A door closes….is the push needed to get out there and find something more exciting.
        • there is opportunity in every obstacle. One chapter ends and another begins.
        • A problem is just an opportunity or a challenge.
        • Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will not let it go by him. -Bayard Taylor
        • The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis’. One brush stroke stands for danger: the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity. –Richard Milhous Nixon.
      • The worst bankrupt is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. Let a man lose everything in the world, but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success – H.W. Arnold
      • Enthusiasm reflects confidence, spreads good cheer, raises morale, inspires associates, arouses loyalty, and laughs at adversity…it is beyond price- Allan Cox
      • Enthusiasm, like measles, mumps and the common cold is highly contagious.- Emory Ward
      • Opportunities multiply as they are seized. —Sun Tsu
      • Opportunities will come, but you’ve got to be ready. Study, practice,  visualize a full dress rehearsal in your head, picture the outcome, pray. If you think positively about what lies ahead, it often comes to pass. There are always hurdles in life. Picture yourself going over them, leaping form one challenge to the next and you will accomplish anything.
      • “Spend eighty percent of your time focusing on the opportunities of tomorrow rather than the problems of yesterday.” – Brian Tracy
      • “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” — Chris Grosser
      • Opportunities are like sunrises. IF you wait too long, you miss them.  -William Arthur Ward.
      • God will give you an abundance of opportunities and possibilities. Hope and courage gives you miracles and blessings.
      •  “There is no security on the earth, there is only opportunity.”–General Douglas MacArthur
      • Difficulties are opportunities for inner growth.
      • Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”–Thomas Edison
      • “I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.”–Oprah Winfrey
      • The more you learn the more it will help later in life. One female attorney knew how to drive a tractor and put it on her resume. She got hired.
      • There is never a point, as long as there’s breath in our body and one brain cell that’s still hopping along, that we cannot continue to grow and to learn.
      • Secrets of Straight-A Students | Reader’s Digest
      • Love what you do or do something else. You can’t be good at anything you don’t love. People will do more business with you when they can tell and know  that you love what you do. – Larry Winget
      • Your job isn’t to make a living but to make a life.
      • Nobody ever said on their deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office or   had more time for work.”You don’t want the end to come and you wish you had loved more, smelled more roses, reached out to helped others more. You have to do that now.
      • I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” — Thomas Jefferson When I work fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, I get lucky. —Armand Hammer
      •  If you get laid off, you may have to return to school but some have shared that to prevail (they end up earning more than their previous income)by keeping their head up, maintaining a positive attitude and even returning to school if they have to, to learn all they can.
      • Every exit is an entry to something else.
      • Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
      • Don’t aspire to make a living. Aspire to make a difference. ~ Denzel Washington
      • Video: The Power of Teamwork Nine key principles inspired by the Blue Angels.
      • Teamwork- where you make others look good.
      • One of the best examples of the importance of teamwork comes from nature. As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it. When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position. The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock. (People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. Staying in formation with those headed where we want to go they are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. Taking turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership,  interdependent on each other’s skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources. where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement is the quality of honking we seek. stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.
      •  “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain 
      • The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.
      • There are two kinds of people, those that do the work and those that take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there’s less competition there.
      • Attempt the impossible to improve your work. Bette Davis
      • If we attend continually and promptly   the little that we can do, we shall long be surprised to find out how little remains that we cannot do –Samuel Butler.
      • The secret of joy in work is contained in one word- Excellence  ~ Pearl S. Buck
      • It is more important to be competent than to be liked. What makes one person like you makes another hate you, so being liked by everyone is unattainable. You may as well be competent. There is no “I” in team.
      • Never be afraid to pause on the road. Many times it will be the best part of the journey.
      •  Learn to say no to all the wasteful things you are asked to do. When you count the hours, and to use each day to the fullest of  your creative energy. If you deal with the present, you don’t have to worry about the future.
      • It is your right to choose what you do and don’t do, to choose what you believe and don’t believe; to curate your life and your own perspective. Say no to things y0u don’t want to do. -borrowed
      • Video: The Simple Truths of Service  inspired by Johnny the Bagger

      SALES-

      • If you have the ability to sell something, you will never go hungry. Video: Sales Motivation
      • Plan your strategy.
      • Consultative selling- value added. Provide knowledge with  integrity.  Most customers don’t know what they want. Salesman’s job is to help them find out. Learn what they want to use it for, who else will be using it, how much can they afford, so you can figure out best plan. Tell me about problems you are having. (Ask the questions…You spend x to get x. Makes you or save you X…so price isn’t important? )
      • Teach the customer. Be the trusted advisor. (Fish don’t know about water. People don’t know about air.)
      • Always show value added.  I can’t beat on price but I can on value. Our value proposes it will bring….
      • Call up your customer 30 days after the sale and ask How do your friends like it? Even if his/her friends don’t like it, he/she won’t be able to admit it. They need to justify in own mind that they made a good buy, then ask names and number of his/her  friends.
      • Selling something- Give a little background. Everybody has a story. Example:When people know about the family it makes the auctioneers job easier as it gives their possessions more value. All you have to do is give them a chance to tell it.
      • He who has a thing to sell and goes and whispers in a well, is not so apt to get the money as he who climbs a tree and hollers.

      KNOWLEDGE

        • In the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. (MEANING: even a person with limited abilities and knowledge is at a great advantage in the company of those with lesser abilities and less knowledge than he. )
        • When your only experience in business is that you have worked for a business does not give you knowledge to run one.
        •  Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can get the information- Samuel Johnson
        • Knowledge is proud because she knows so much. Wisdom is humble because she knows so little.
        • Knowledge is power only if it is used. Ask. Read. Network, Trust your instincts. Stay alert. Watch for trends.
        • Knowledge may be power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch…. while Henry David Thoreau said “None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm”
        •  What you want in life is a function of what you think you deserve–and can achieve. Make a commitment to obtaining knowledge. Make do with what you have against seemingly insurmountable odds. And as you move ahead, pass on y0ur optimism and faith to the next generation. -Vernon E. Jordan , Jr.                    education
        • “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” – Vince Lombardi
        • The heights by great men reached and kept Were not attained by sudden flight, But they, while their companions slept, Were toiling upward in the night. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s lines from the Ladder of St. Augustine

      LAZY WHO DON’T WANT TO WORK

          • Lazy people who take handouts are less healthy, less wealthy and less happy.
          • If you don’t work you don’t eat, (2nd Thessalonians 3:10). This Bible verse doesn’t pertain to those who cannot work due to physical challenges, bodily diseases, old age, and the greed of employers. (Unwilling to work  is what everybody misses,)
          •  Never be idle. If your hands cannot be employed usefully, attend to the culture of your mind.

      SNOBBISH See judgment

            • People often appear aloof and act superior  because they feel inadequate or inferior. (Those who talk a lot about money and inheritance want to associate with people who are as well off as they  wish they were.) Snobbishness of any kind is a sign of limitation.
            • When a fellow says it isn’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the’ money.
            • When you strut, you stumble.
            • You can only build a tower so high before the base crumbles.
            •  Be sincere. Eventually everyone will find you out and judge you by your true self and not by your pretensions.
            •  Never speak bad of anyone and if anyone speaks bad of you, make sure you are living your life be so that no one believes him.  (Your character cannot be essentially injured except by your own acts.) Good character is above everything else. Keep your own secrets, if you have any.
            •  No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinth 10:24

      GOSSIP AND JUDGMENT See Bullies

          • God has remade you, but He didn’t do it only for you. He will use you to touch other people.
          • Thank God for the chance to glorify His name. He will show you not what a man can do, but what God can do with a man.
          • Thank Him for all the people who helped you on your journey.
          • What if you woke up to find the only things you had were the things you thanked God for yesterday?
          • I say a prayer of thanks every mornng. When I put my feet on the floor, I set my attitude. I make the conscious decision that it’s going to be a good day. -Lori Allen
          • Thank you, Lord, for prayer that changes things. But, even more thank you for prayer that changes me.
          • We pray for … and his family, too. Give them a faith that reminds them that even in their sadness and confusion they can look to You for peace and acceptance and understanding.
          • Pray for God to show you how to be valuable to someone. Then give thanks to God, without Whom none of this could be possible. You’ll never believe it until you experience.
          • To say a prayer is not enough. One must believe that it is possible for that prayer to be heard. If one simply believes, ‘What can I lose by praying; it can’t hurt, yet they have  no faith in the prayer, no absolute belief in it in the first place, it will not be answered. See where it tells us that in the Bible ( James 1:6-7,   Mark 11:24, Mark 11:22-23, Matthew  21:22)
          • It is never too late for a man to start giving his best to the One Who loves us the most.
          • Quidnunc- KWID’NUNGK‘), N. A person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip; a gossip or busybody)
        •  “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
        • Only a fool tells all he knows.
        • The words, “It’s none of my business” should be a complete sentence- Ivern Ball
        • Gossip is like a nasty virus. If you learn to co er your mouth you won’t spread the germs.
        • If they gossip to you they will gossip about you.
        • A gossip betrays a confidence;    so avoid anyone who talks too much. Proverbs 20:19
        • Gossip – A person who may be bored, insecure, jealous- or all three. Spreading gossip can be a way of building one’s self up- or feeling morally superior by putting others down. The gossiper may even secretly envy their target. Why would they care so much about how others live.
        • Smart people believe only half of what they hear. Smarter people know which half to believe.
        • Keep your mouth closed about personal business others share with you.
        • When you gossip not only are you telling someone else but you’re letting other know that you are a tattletale.
        • If what you say to someone cannot be said to everyone, then say it to no one.
        • Unencumbered by facts, it is easy to  speak freely. So, don’t look foolish, always do your research and think things through before you attempt to debate anyone, especially on religion or politics.
        • In matters of religion, it is very easy to deceive mankind and very difficult to undeceive them.
        • If you had $86,400 and someone stole $60, would you throw away $86, 340 for revenge? Or move on and live? Each of us have 86,400 seconds every day DON’T let someone’s negative 60 seconds ruin the remaining 86,340. Life is bigger than that and so are you. – Denzel Washington
        • Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.
        • It is easy to criticize and judge when we don’t have the facts.
        • We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done’. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
        • Once you are really challenged, you find something in yourself. Man doesn’t know what he is capable of until he is asked. – Kofi Annan who wa United Nations Secretary.
        • “It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand.” – Doe Zantamata
        • See others through God’s eyes. God doesn’t see an addict. His child He sees redeemed, restored and whole.
        •  Judging  is easy for those  who have  no  understanding of  the challenges that confronted some in their early years. Hiding the incredible pain and fear  can have a life long effect and drive one to questionable actions. We may seem so despicable that people refuse even to make eye contact, and we only wish they knew what is going on in our  life.  Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!    Hebrews 13:2 https://biblehub.com/hebrews/13-2.htm
        • Jesus taught “to take care of these, the least of my brethren”. To see why: go here
        • May my story be a witness of God’s love and redemption to be used for His glory as others  receive understanding why we are to not judge, but instead show Christ’s compassion and kindness to everyone.
        • GOSSIP…Nobody’s friend
          My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice.
          I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
          My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
          I am nobody’s friend.
          Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
          Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. I make headlines and headaches.
          Before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
          Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary?
          If it isn’t, don’t repeat it.

        REJECTION…see also depression and criticism

        • Always remember no matter how many people say no, all you need to find is one single person to say yes. Just one person.
        • Keep in mind that it is easier to be pulled down than to be pulled up.
        • No matter what terrible or broken spot we find ourselves in,  if we quiet our hearts and look to God, he can transform our life and carry us through grave circumstance, thanks to the grace and love that is at His  core.

        BULLIES / Mistreat See rejection

      • Under that false bravado lies a tragic soul, mor to be pitied than scorned.

        • No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
        • Standing up for someone else we learn to stand up for  ourselves.
        • Nobody can make you feel anyway. Rise above it.
        • First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. —Ghandi
        • Don’t worry too much about what people think of you. You wouldn’t worry so much about what they were thinking of you if you knew how little they were thinking about you.
        • Enemies sometimes compel us to do more and to succeed.’
        • Probably the most profound thing in the Bible is ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.’ This is what, to me, is the essence of Christianity.- Dave Brubeck, legendary jazz musician and composer.
        • Mother used to say that when someone was ugly with you to “kill them with kindness”.  It will drive them crazy and co-workers will wonder how anyone could say such ugly things about someone so nice. (No wonder everyone loved my mother!)
        • Feel sorry for those who hurt you without cause. In that way you will be the bigger person because the problem is theirs, not yours. Many times they strike out at you because they are hurting.
        • There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The difference is attitude. the big difference is whether it is positive or negative –Clement Stone

        Many who were bullied and belittled  took it as encouragement to show others with an  “I will show you!” attitude; working hard to make sure the people who bullied them can’t believe how their lives have turned out.  

        Here are just a few more well-known sharing their story:

        • Chris Rock developed his humor and wit as a response to bullies. “It made me who I am,” Rock said, going so far as to thank the people who “kicked my a–, spit in my face, and kicked me down the stairs. It lit a fire under me to succeed.
        • Winona Ryder was beaten up in junior high.  She later ran into her old bully at a cafe.  The bully asked for an autograph, and Winona replied: “Go f*** yourself.”
        • Tiger Woods– racial slurs
        • Khloe Kardashian has struggled with her weight and her confidence, making her an easy target for school bullies.
        • Bill Clinton was teased for his weight growing up.
        • Kate Winslet (starred in Titanic) was made fun of for her weight.  She says that fellow classmates would call her terrible names like “blubber.”  Growing up, no part of Winslet was off-limits to bullies – not even her feet. “I was chubby, always had big feet, the wrong shoes, bad hair,””[They] teased me for wanting to act. Locked me in the cupboard. Laughed at me.” The bullying continued into her adult years, too. In an interview with Rolling Stone, the Oscar winner revealed that “Titanic” director James Cameron called her “Kate Weighs-a-Lot.”
        • Jackie Chan “I allowed myself to be bullied because I was scared and didn’t know how to defend myself.” The martial arts master says he put an end to the abuse by defending a classmate. “I was bullied until I prevented a new student from being bullied. By standing up for him, I learned to stand up for myself.
        •  Sandra Bullock– clothes. I looked like a clown compared to the cool way the other students looked and dressed,” Sandra Bullock said in a 2009 interview. “So I got my ass whooped a little bit. Kids are mean, and the sad thing is that I can still remember the first and last names of every one of those kids who were mean to me!
        • Justin Timberlake was bullied at school. “They called me different, they called me weird, they called me a couple of other words I can’t say on TV. Thankfully, my mother taught me that being different was a good thing, that being different meant you could actually make a difference.”
        • Jessica Simpson was a victim of the school’s mean girl group: “I had girls egging my home, writing curse words on the sidewalk in paint — just saying really nasty things about me”, but the star credits her unfortunate youthful experiences with helping her as a high profile celebrity, learning how to deal with constant scrutiny from the media. “I grew up in that fishbowl of always being judged and watched. I really do believe that was God preparing me for the life I’m living now.”
        •  Cindy Crawford  As a high schooler, the supermodel was often teased and ridiculed, mostly about things that ended up becoming her trademarks. “I hated my eyebrows and my hair,” she wrote in her book “Becoming.” “The mole was the thing I got teased about and was embarrassed about, and that set me apart.”  Cindy Crawford also recalls the time classmates set up a fake modeling job just to embarrass her. “I felt all the air leave my body. I ran out of the store as fast as I could, only to see two girls from my high school standing on the corner laughing. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.”
        • Rumer Willis‘ tormenters were tabloids, who would compare her to her “masculine father” Bruce Willis and cruelly scrutinize her face and body, causing her to consider plastic surgery as a young teen. “I thought … ‘If I change my face or get really skinny, that will be it. That will be the answer.’ And it’s not,” Willis said, wiping away tears, on an episode of Dancing with the Stars
        •  Michelle Trachtenberg  -actress  “This one girl in high school threw me down a flight of stairs, fractured my ribs, punched and fractured my nose,
        • Victoria Beckham  Before she was a Spice Girl, classmates “were literally picking things up out of the puddles and throwing them at me, and I just stood there, on my own. No one was with me.” “I didn’t have any friends. People would push me around, say they were going to beat me up after school, chase me. It was miserable, my whole schooling—miserable. I tried to be friends with people, but I didn’t fit in. So I kept myself to myself.
        • Eva Mendes says she was an easy target for bullies because she was gawky and had big teeth, One bully in particular “preyed on the fact that I was so scared and would avoid her,” Mendes told HLN. “It was torture.” Bullies tortured me all through junior high school It was miserable. She was so fearful she couldn’t turn to her parents or school administrators. “It was torture.””I literally had to deal with it on my own. At the time I couldn’t understand why they kept taunting me and it took me two years to figure out how to do that.”  When I realized  that I was showing them my fear and that’s what they were pouncing on   she confronted and stood up to her tormentors and the bullying stopped.
        • Mila Kunis was bullied in school because of her “funny face.” Kids would make fun of her big eyes and lips.
        • Rihanna says that she has been teased her entire life.   The pop star says she is grateful for these struggles because they made her stronger. ” “What they were picking on I don’t even understand. “Now I’m in a much bigger world.
        • Miley Cyrus talks about three  who bullied her by making fun of her, sending her cruel notes, stealing her books and locking her in a school bathroom.  “Maybe they just smelled insecurity. Maybe that was why they singled me out.
        • Joanna Gaines– the Fixer Upper host  revealed that her insecurities stemmed from experiences she had in school.  “My mom is full Korean and my dad is Caucasian,” she said. “Kids in kindergarten would make fun of me for being Asian and when you’re that age you don’t know really how to process that; the way you take that is, ‘Who I am isn’t good enough.’ ”  Her discomfort reached its peak, though, after moving to a town in Texas and joining a new, much larger, school. “In the lunchroom everyone was a blur and I was thinking, ‘How do people do this? How do you find that one person to sit with?’ ” she said. “So I literally walked in the lunchroom and walked out and went into the bathroom. My fear and my insecurities just took over and I felt like I’d way rather sit in the stall than get rejected.”  The experience has stuck with the Fixer Upper star, who continues to teach her kids to make friends with those who seem to need it. “I always tell my kids to look for that kid on the playground who’s not playing with anybody, to go reach out, ask them their name, to look for the kid in the lunchroom who isn’t sitting by anybody, be their friend,” she said. “That experience grounded me in that I want to look for the lonely, the sad, the people who aren’t confident, because that’s not where they’re supposed to stay.
        • Jessica Alba may be a successful, beautiful actress, but the Sin City star was bullied in high school. Alba said she got picked on because she was an awkward child with buck teeth and a Texas accent.  “I was bullied so badly my dad used to have to walk me into school so I didn’t get attacked.” “I’d eat my lunch in the nurse’s office so I didn’t have to sit with the other girls. Apart from my being mixed race, my parents didn’t have money, so I never had the cute clothes or the cool backpack.”
        • Jennifer Lawrence said that her bullying became so bad that she switched schools to get away from some mean girls.  She has some advice for dealing with the mean people. “Don’t worry about the b–ches— could be a good motto, because you will come across people like that throughout your life.”
        • Taylor Swift says that her junior high bullies gave her the inspiration to start writing songs.
        • Tom Cruise struggled with reading, which made him an easy target for bullies. had a lonely childhood. “I had no really close friend,” he revealed in an interview in 2012. “I was always the new kid with the wrong shoes, the wrong accent. I didn’t have a friend to share things with and confide in.” Tom Cruise has visceral memories of being picked on. “So many times, the big bully comes up, pushes me. Your heart’s pounding, you sweat and you feel like you’re going to vomit. I don’t like bullies.”
        • Madonna says that the boys at her school used to bully her and call her a “hairy monster.”
        • Blake Lively- “Kids used to make fun of me in elementary school by calling me Big Bird (because I was ‘too tall’ and had ‘yellow’ hair).
        • Kate Middleton– according to the headmistress at her school says that the Duchess of Cambridge was bullied for two terms over her  reputation “as quite a soft and nice person.”
        • Emily Blunt- stutters. (Married to John Krasinski  of the Office
        • Steven Spielberg was bullied for being a “nerd” in school.
        • Kristen Stewart says kids her own age “were mean and didn’t give you a chance.”  (People who stuttered and became singers…. )
        • Brittany Snow  – Pitch Perfect 2 star   started an organization called Love is Louder to help kids through bullying and depression  Being a victim herself. “When I was younger, I was bullied daily,” she told PEOPLE. “I know what it’s like to feel alone and outcast.”
        • Megan Fox said that she faced constant bullying at school. Her advice: You just have to remember the person picking on you has their own problems and their own issues. And you’re going to be OK.
        • Avril Lavigne was bullied because of her big glasses, her hair and her tomboy clothes. They also called her “Vampire Lady” because of her teeth.
        • Michael Phelps was tormented by bullies who mocked him for his hyperactive personality and big ears and  his long arms   The swimmer went on to use those long limbs to win several gold medals.    The future Olympic legend wore hats much of the time to conceal the size of his ears, Phelps’ mother told Yahoo Sports.He gets a little taste of revenge when he visits his hometown and encounters his tormentors. “They’ll try to talk to me and I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, why are talking to me now? You were picking on me then.'”
        • Tyra Banks was bullied in school for being a “bean pole.” She later used her tall, thin physique to create an extremely successful modeling career.
        • Eminem was frequently bullied for being an outsider.  “I was beat up in the bathrooms, in the hallways, shoved in the lockers
        • Lady Gaga  was mercilessly bullied in school for being different.  “Being teased for being ugly, having a big nose, being annoying,” she told Rolling Stone. “‘Your laugh is funny, you’re weird, why do you always sing, why are you so into theater, why do you do your make-up like that?'”  “I used to be called a s—, be called this, be called that, I didn’t even want to go to school sometimes.
        • Elon Musk was relentlessly bullied as a child  for being the  smallest guy in his school,   “It’s pretty rough in South Africa,” she told Esquire. “If you’re getting bullied, you still have to go to school. You just have to get up in the morning and go. He hated it so much.”  Musk’s first wife, Justine, said, “I don’t think people understand how tough he had it growing up. He was a really lonely kid.”
        • Pierce Brosnan was made fun of for his Irish accent while he was at school.
        • Prince Harry was bullied for his red hair when he was young.
        • Ben Hooper- 1870-1957 governor of Tennessee  was born out of wedlock, yet he was not going to go trudging through life with his head bowed in meek submission; he was a lad determined to be the best in his class in defiance of his detractors.  “Instead of my supposed handicap generating an inferiority complex, it motivated a spirit of ambition and determination that furnished the impetus to carry me over many a hill in my young days. I began to understand that sensible people might appraise a man upon his character and attainments rather than upon the accident of birth or the merits of his antecedents. This possibility furnished a great incentive to effort.”   And effort he made. Ben attended public schools, graduated from Carson-Newman College in 1890, became a lawyer, entered the world of politics, and eventually rose to the office of governor.
        • “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
        • I’m always more motivated by the negative comments than by positive ones. I know what I do well. Tell me what I don’t do well.
        • Listen to the critics, but listen most carefully to those who spoke up when the sun was shining.
        • Don’t waste time responding to your critics. -Life’s Little Instruction Book
        • For more: google: famous people who were bullied
        • Jesus said to pray for those who mistreat us

    JEALOUSY

        • Bella Hadid said this to those who were saying ugly things about her “Jealousy is a cry for help that I wish I could help you with.”  (Side: Let your conduct be without covetness; be content with such things as you have. Heb 13:5  In other words appreciate exactly what you have. )  Glamour is celebrating what we have, instead of what we long for–Actress Isabella Rossellini
        • The more beauty we find in someone else’s journey, the less we’ll want to compare it to our own.

    HATE AND INJUSTICE

        • The deepest desires come from the deadliest hate. -Socrates.
        • Don’t hate. It’s too big a burden to bear. – Martin Luther King, Sr.
        • A hateful act is the transference to others of the degradation we bear in ourselves- Simone Weil
        • The worst, the least curable hatred is that which has superseded love. -Euripides
        • Hatred is self-punishment- Hosea Ballow
        • The  secret: The way to defeat hate is love.
        • When you live with poverty, unhealthy relationships and injustice, you think that is ll there is in the world.
        • Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere…whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. – Martin Luther King Jr.

    Dinner guest-

        • Bring a gift to the dinner host.
        • Put your dirty dishes in the sink and jump in to help clean up! They may decline your help, but at least make the effort.
        • Overnight guest
          • Keep your bathroom clean. don’t leave water all over the bathroom.
          • Don’t run the water forever
          • After a shower, wipe it down….hang wet towels on the drying rack over the tub
          • Don’t chatter endlessly- do something quietly when your host is trying to read the newspaper
          • When your host drives you somewhere pay for the parking and lunch.
          • Take the hosts out to dinner at least once for every couple of nights you are there.
          • Wear footsies or socks around the house that are quiet, rug-saving and so you aren’t tracking in dirt.
          • Keep your bed made
          • When you leave neatly fold the extra blankets for storing and tidy up the guest room where you stayed
          • Use your own cell phone
          • Give your host and hostess a nice gift for their kind hospitality. Afterall, they saved you the cost of a hotel and maybe a rental car for each day you stay.
          • (From Dear Abby Sunday May 16, 1993)

          LIVING WITHIN YOUR MEANS’ VS ‘LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS’

        • Buying on credit is not ‘living within your means’. Those who believe they ‘live within their means’ simply because they are able to make the monthly payments on their debt, could find their financial situation quickly changed due to a divorce, job loss, the economy tanks or some catastrophic illness. There may be little discretionary spending to cut back on especially for those who say they find it impossible to save money. Spend what you need, not what you can afford.
        • When just starting out, those who live ‘below their means’, typically reap the benefits of their savings long before retirement age and are more likely to become millionaires than those who don’t.  ‘Living below ones means’ is the key! Spending more money than you take in leads to self-made poverty.
        • Yet, pop media and culture have convinced many people that to be wealthy means living a fancy, high end life, while being frugal is admitting economic failure. Because nobody wants to be seen as an economic failure, many spend their money the way they mistakenly assume the wealthy do. Like a peacock flashing his tail to be admired, many people like to give the semblance of affluence.
        • While someone driving a high-end Mercedes Benz gives the appearance  of making a lot of money, in reality high end earners who spend heavily, often have very little wealth. Should they lose their source of income they may be worse off than the poor.
        • Many who prize “things” more than financial security  are often up to their necks in debt, careening toward disaster, in an attempt to impress others who most likely don’t care.
        • Purchasing short-term extravagances doesn’t build the same wealth as putting money into items with lasting value.
        • There is a big difference between looking rich and being wealthy.
        • There are people who make $250,000 and are in debt. Believing they don’t have a ‘reason’ to budget, their standard-of-living often matches their income. They “throw money away with both hands”  buying whatever they want, then have to scrimp on other things.     Don’t let your standard-of-living match what you have in your pocket.
        • Dave Ramsey reminds us “Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses because they are broke.”
        • There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth. -Proverbs 13:7
        • God evidently does not intend us all to be rich, or powerful or great, but He does intend us all to be friends. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
        • A man’s wealth will be ultimately measured in the eyes of those who survive him friends, comrades, brethern and family.
        • True wealth is living simply-learning what not to want.
        • What you own, owns you.
        • Live within your income. Always have something saved at the end of the year and you’ll never go wrong. – Samuel Johnson.
        • Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure when he is really selling himself to it.- Ben Franklin
        • A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.  Proverbs 11: 28
        • Although roughly 1:10 households in the US are millionaires,  you can NOT assess a person’s financial status by observing how he or she lives.  Millionaires often do not look, dress, eat or act like most folks preconceived idea of a millionaire as their ego is not fed by the appearance of wealth.
        • While some Americans  believe frugality has to do with being poor,  the reality is that a surprising number of wealthy people are frugal,  while many poor people are not.  Being frugal is not the same as being cheap, greedy or poor. * The wealthy didn’t get that way by wasting their money.  They tend to know the value of a dollar and are often frugal by choice, rather than necessity. The authors of the book ‘The Millionaire Next Door’ explain that from their research, frugality is commonly found to exist in about 94% of all American Millionaires.
        • Often poor people simply have poor ways. Let’s say for example someone with no money management skills receive a bit of extra money, or a financial windfall, (an insurance check for thousands of dollars)  and “run with their hair on fire” splurging and  buying things until they blow it all.
        • Money provides a way to take care of your family now, and in the future. A job loss when one has money in the bank to fall back on is less stressful  when one knows they they won’t be  running up debt within a month  trying to  keep  up with bills. The feeling of  security makes it easier to sleep  at night.
        • Don’t save just for the purpose  of living larger in retirement than you do in your younger days. There’s no guarantee you’ll be healthy enough  or even live to retirement to appreciate the extra money. Once your youth and vitality are gone, all the money in the world won’t buy it back. life is too short to live a pathetic sad life to save a buck.   There isn’t a special prize for skimping on the nicer toilet paper or other life’s pleasures and dying a millionaire, so enjoy yourself a little bit while you can.   Life is about having balance between living and saving and not going to extremes.   Find the balance that works for you.  Live frugally but don’t over do it. Spend some, save some. You won’t regret   spending a little more money doing things when you could have. Don’t miss some killer opportunities over just a few hundred dollars that in the big scheme of things  won’t make much difference.

    DEBT –  CREDIT-  LOANS

        • Living beyond your means makes for a poor lifestyle and will make you genuinely poor.  It is not the high cost of living, but the cost of living high.
        • Debt is proof of greed. It is the opposite of giving. Debt is emptying your future to fill up your present. Giving is emptying your present to fill up your future.
        • Save when you are young to spend and live comfortably when you are old.
        • Either buckle down and have something when you are older or spend now and continue to struggle later.
        • The devil is in the details. Look closely. Ask questions. Then, look closer.
        • True wealth is living simply-enjoying experiences over things. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money cannot buy.
        • Never borrow if you can possibly help it. Never play a game of chance. (Don’t gamble on anything. Making debt is gambling that life is going to just go along as it has been so you will be able to repay it. That doesn’t always happen.)
        • Proverbs 22:7: “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”
        • Pay off your credit card debt first, since interest on consumer debt isn’t tax deductible like it is on a house. To get rid of credit card debt  faster add as much as you can to your payment each month to get the  balance paid off sooner. Once rid of it   pay toward your mortgage the money you had been sending to the credit card company. (Be very sure you tell the mortgage company each time you send in extra to “pay it toward principal.” Black Enterprise Oct  2010 stated you must attach a separate check for the extra payment to a letter detailing you want the money applied to the principal and which loan to apply it to; otherwise it will go to the interest, which is the typical policy of most lending institutions.)   You gain peace of mind by having a paid off home. There is nothing like owning your home free and clear.
        • If your credit card’s interest rate is 15% and you owe $5,000, your monthly charge is $63. Pay off that debt and you’ll save $750 a year, which is equivalent to $5,000 earning 15% in an investment. -Reader’s Digest
        • Putting unnecessary things on credit cards is borrowing trouble.
        •  People who are  unaware of the many tricks  credit card companies use  to keep them in debt, may refinance their house to pay off credit cards and other loans when they get in a bit of a pinch and end upside down on their home. A REALLY BAD MOVE This has been known to lead to foreclosure.  
        • If you can’t save to pay for it in cash and charge it, what makes you think you will have the money each month to pay the credit card bill. Don’t jeopardize the future by dong the wrong thing today.
        • Most houses appreciate and cars depreciate –  so pay off house first.
        • Listen to Dave Ramsey and learn to have no debt.
        • Owe no man anything. Romans 13:8
        • Study to learn secrets of the rich (The Millionaire Next Door is a good book to read.)
        • Live close to work.  Because if you wear out a car every few years driving back and forth to work and thus have to buy a new vehicle it would have been much smarter to keep the same car longer and use the money you save on car payments, gasoline,  tires, etc (that goes down in value) to pay toward a home closer to work as they don’t lose their value and may make you money if they go up in value, as most do!) What you save in gas and car repairs pay toward principal on your house mortgage  and build in equity in your home.
        • Nothing in life is free and you do pay taxes on forgiven debt. If you ‘short sale’ your house or lose it you will pay taxes on the ‘forgiven’ debt. OUCH!
        • Buy a fixer upper for your first home.
        • Determine the quality of a neighborhood by the manners of the people living there. -Life’s Little Instruction Book
        • Don’t spend more than you can pay off at the end of the month.
        • Living on less than one earns allows one to save in order to pay cash for big ticket items,  such as a  home and  furnishings to avoid going in debt by using credit. Millionaires who see  debt as wasteful don’t use credit cards or  borrow money to buy possessions they don’t absolutely need.  When they do use a credit card they  pay it off that month to avoid  paying interest.
        • Check your FICO scores and work to get a better FICO score in order to receive better interest rates when you borrow for a house or car. (That will allow you to pay less each month than  someone with a bad score…so you have more money to spend on other things.) Order your credit reports from annualcreditreport.com. You’re eligible for one free report annually from each of the three major credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion).
        • Canceling credit cards outright can hurt your credit score because a big component of your score is your credit-utilization ratio. That’s the amount of credit you have used expressed as a percentage of  your overall credit line. You want to keep that ratio as low as possible (below 30%  or, even better, below 20%). Closing a number of accounts can bump up the ratio, even if you pay off your balance every month.
        • Compare credit card rates and rewards by using the online tools NerdWallet or Cardratings.com
        • If you can’t afford to save money each month to half 1/2 to put down on something, what makes you think you will be able to afford to make payments when you have monthly payments? (The Litmus Test)
        • The fastest way to be poor is to pretend to be rich. Less is more.

    The paid-off mortgage has become the new status symbol over the BMW in the driveway. – Dave Ramsey

    ANGER

        • Anger will kill you. Let it go. Give it up to God.
        •   My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19
        • When you are full of anger take that energy and do something productive. Don’t get mad; get even by getting busy and plowing that anger and your energy into something positive.
        • Anger is only one letter short of danger. The tongue weighs practically nothing but few people can hold it.
        • When we are scared of things- the dark…heights… it limits us. We hate it and that contributes to our anger. Most anger is fear based. It emanates from some kind of powerlessness.
        • Worry, sadness, stress and anger can worsen pain. So can obesity.  Chronic pain can worsen worry, sadness, stress anger an obesity.
        • Worry drives us to prayer and prayer drives away the worry.
        • Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. Dr. Chérie Carter Scott
        • Anger and hatred are the real enemies that we must confront and defeat, not the ‘enemies’ who appear from time to time in our lives.The Dalai Lama
        • Among my most prized possessions are words I have not spoken in anger.
        • It is easier to leave angry words unspoken than to mend a heart these words have broken. Rosemary Vangen
        • If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will save a thousand days of sorrow. Chinese proverb
        • Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
        • Anger is justifiable and an understandable reaction to being wronged and as the souls first effort to reassert its worth and power  may initially be healing. But in time anger becomes corrosive.  To live in bitterness is to be chained to the person who wounded you, your emotions and actions arising not independently, but in reaction to your abuser. You can become so obsessed with vengence that your life can become consumed by the quest for it. In bitterness you become as much a captive as if barbed wire surrounds you. This is why forgiveness is so liberating. Besides,  Deuteronomy 32:35 said vengence belongs to the Lord and he will repay them. (Romans 12:17-19 also has something good to tell us about it.)  Read a wonderful story about it here.
        • It is a medical fact that unresolved anger (the refusal to forgive) is a distinct threat to your physical health as well as to your peace of mind.
        • Medical research shows that prayer and faith can have a profound and positive effect on blood pressure, the immune system, and a patient’s recovery from physical and mental illness.
        • The sure way to inner peace–losing one’s self in caring for others.

    FORGIVENESS- Letting go of the past and resentments See regrets and failure

          • Forgiving people for the wrongs they’ve committed is not the same as excusing their actions. Forgiveness is more about cutting the chains of negativity from whatever has caused us pain. – Tina Turner
          •  For whatever a man might sow, that also he will reap. … in all this–“with what measure ye meet, it shall be measured to you again.” Galatians 6:7.  Forgive so you will be forgiven.
          • Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love. —Gandhi
          • Forgiveness is the greatest expression of love.
          • Never forget that the three most powerful forces in the world are always available to you to use: love, prayer and forgiveness.  Love is the MASTER KEY to everything…
          • Forgive as many times as you would wish God forgave you. (When you say the Lord’s prayer think about what you are saying. You are asking forgiveness to be withheld from you if you withhold it from others. )
          • Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace- Jonathan Hule
          • When we pray the Lord’s prayer we are asking that God forgive us in the same way we forgive others.
          • He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for every one has need to be forgiven.  -George Hebert.
          • ‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget’, is only another way of saying, ‘I will not forgive.” Henry Ward Beecher.
          • It is impossible to forgive, without forgetting.
          •  Never say you will never forgive someone or that you will never forget what they did. The capacity for forgiveness is in you.  Close the door firmly on the past. If you have to go on forgiving,  you aren’t really forgetting–resentment is still festering inside you.
          • Forgiveness is key to the Kingdom of God.  When you say the Lord’s prayer think about what you are saying. You are asking forgiveness to be withheld from you if you withhold it from others.
          • Forgiveness is a key to happiness. It doesn’t make you weak, it sets you free.    Forgive others and yourself. While we can not   erase the past we have the choice to start this very  moment to make a brand new beginning –  to let go of suffering/the past and be happy  ―  Love keeps no record of being wrong.
          • Video Jesus the Ultimate Gift God sent us a very special gift…an incomparable expression of His love.
          • The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. Catherine Ponder (The mystery of forgiveness.)
          • Pray for the person who has wronged you. Jesus told us specifically to do this. (Pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:28) This is never easy to do, but when you bring yourself to do it you will find that even the most deep-rooted resentments begin to melt away. When they are gone, forgiveness follows effortlessly.
          • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” —Ghandi
          • We achieve inner health only through forgiveness.
          • Forgive, forget –and move on to a healthier and happier you.
          • The best way to get even is to forget.
          • Talking about someone without bitterness who treated you badly happens when you forgive.
          • Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” —Mark Twain
          • While the act of forgiveness is one of the most difficult things life asks of us, it is one of the most necessary-mentally, spiritually, even physically.  It makes you healthier, happier and deepens your relationship with God. Forgiveness is a skill you can develop and practice like any other.
          • Forgive.  Forgiveness changes the present, not the past. Focus on the future, not the past.
          • Forgiveness is a personal choice.
          • Forgiveness is not about changing the person who hurt you or condoning their actions or even reconciling with them. Its a choce you make to heal yourself.
          • We’ve all been broken at some point. Forgiving ourselves or another person helps us move forward. – Julia Roberts
          • This is a wonderful story: https://www.guideposts.org/better-living/positive-living/finding-our-way-to-forgiveness
          • Pray Psalm 29:11 with a twist, “Lord give strength to this person who hurt me; Lord bless this person with peace.” You can’t go wrong praying for the good of others!
          • When you are feeling bad be thankful for something and let someone know. It feels better than resentment. Send “Caught in the act of caring” notes to those you see being kind.
          • Giving kindness is the antidote to the poison of resentment.
          • If you don’t want resentment to rule your life, forgive. It is how you show your love for God in return for the unending love He gives you.
          • Count your blessings instead of your grievances. As soon as you stop counting your grievances you can see your blessings. Let go of the pain and embrace the future.
          • There is a healing power in forgiveness.  Research shows that the act of forgiving can lead to better overall health. Forgiveness is associated with stress relief, lower heart rate, decreased blood pressure, a reduction in physical complaints , such as aches and pains, improved sleep quality and strengthened spirituality. The reverse is also true. Holding on to resentment can lead to higher blood pressure, muscle tension and depression. the person who forgives and the person who is forgiven aren’t the only ones who benefit. There’s a ripple effect. Those who forgive are also much more likely to volunteer or donate to charity. –Guideposts magazine
          • A love that forgives Luke 23:34 Father, forgive them for they know now what they do. (Forgive them as you have forgiven me.) We are given that love in order to forgive what seems unforgivable and release our burdens to  Him. Forgive me for harboring any resentment and not coming to you sooner.
          • To err is human, therefore it must be equally human to forgive.
          • An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. —Ghandi
          • The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. —John E. Southard
          • When I choose to imagine someone’s pain/perspective I lose my appetite for anger. —Unknown
          • You can’t start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one.-Unknown
          • It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.
          • Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.Let forgiveness be part of your journey toward reconciliation.
          • Don’t be bitter. It wastes your time, affects everything you do, and its never constructive. Complain about something, get it out of your system, and move on.
          • Forgiveness is a form of gratitude. When we forgive others, we show them the mercy that we have often received and been thankful for.  Sarah Ban Breathnach
          • When you forgive someone, you are as close to God as you will ever be, because in that forgiveness you are demonstrating the very heart of God. Max Lucado
          • A grudge is one thing that does not get better when it is nursed. Kathleen H. Burks
          • Saints have a past. Sinners have a future.
          • When we can accept our humanity and the perpetrator’s, we can write a new story, one in which we are no longer cast as a victim but as a survivor, even perhaps a hero. Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu
          • Learning to fail well means overcoming our natural instincts to blame someone whenever something goes wrong. People fail best when they err on the side of forgiveness. Megan McArdle
          • Earth is Forgiveness School. Anne Lamott
          • Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their actions. Forgiveness stops their actions from destroying your heart. Karen Salmansohn
          • Forgiveness doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.
          • Never forget the three powerful resources you have always available to you: love, prayer and forgiveness. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
          • Forgiving one’s enemies does not mean to be fainthearted, but to have a strong soul. Italian proverb
          • Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin. -Desmond Tutu
          • Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant. Rick Warren
          • TGIF: Thank God I’m Forgiven!
          • God’s alternative to revenge is not truce or standoff or cold war or isolationism. It’s forgiveness.  -author Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
          • Forgiveness isn’t so much an action as a process, one that demands vigilance and commitment.  -Edward Grinnan
          • Personal change begins with self-forgiveness, and self-forgiveness depends on our capacity to love ourselves.  -Edward Grinnan
          • Forgiveness creates instant growth and change, because it clears out the negative drag of the past.  -Edward Grinnan
          • Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.- Lewis B. Smedes
          • Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.-David Jeremiah
          • If you want to live a long and happy life, then you must be willing to forgive the unforgivable. It is truly the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be freed from this burden! -Dorothy Murfin
          • The only safe ans sure way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.
          • It’s simple: When you haven’t forgiven those who’ve hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
            Tyler Perry
          • Only the truly magnanimous and strong are capable of forgiving and loving. Kim Dae Jung
          • Forgiveness is the power that enlivens relationships. Forgiveness keeps life moving forward, creates harmony and makes you spiritually strong. Maoshing Ni, M.D.
          • True forgiveness does not even remember the injury.Two Seekers
          • Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim.Desmond Tutu
          • “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
          • If you wonder how God can forgive you for the things you have done…that is exactly what God is for. We all need a Savior.
        •  Forgiveness is liberating. MAYBE YOU WERE SOMEONE (OR YOU KNOW SOMEONE) WHO SUFFERED THE CRUELTY OF ABUSE. Former POWs beaten and traumatized, their dignity destroyed were left feeling defenseless and frightened with  a pervasive sense of shame, helplessness and worthlessness  in a world that had become menacing. The loss of self-worth makes its pain particularly devastating.  Yet, those who forgave their captors, found that forgiveness seemed to follow a return of dignity.  Forgiveness is a complex, elusive mystery. For Louie Zamperini the  conviction that he was forsaken was gone, replaced by a belief that Divine love had been all around him, even at his darkest moments. The bitterness and pain that had haunted him vanished. From Louie’s life one beautiful, undeniable truth:   Even when a man suffers the most soul-shattering of abuses, even when he seems hopelessly bound by resentment, forgiveness can still find him and set him free.   Resurrect your dignity by seeing yourself, not as the wretched creature that someone tried to make you , but as the object of God’s infinite love. Your self respect and sense of power reborn, you will  finally have the strength to let go of your hatred. Read the whole story: https://www.guideposts.org/inspiration/miracles/gods-grace/louie-zamperini-the-power-of-forgiveness      See Anger
        • Forgiveness allows you to reclaim the strong, capable person God made you to be.
        • When the worst things happen they can bring out the best in people.

    SELF CONFIDENCE

        • Stop looking around at others assuming you know their status. You don’t. And all you do is work yourself into a frenzy by thinking that someone else has it better or easier. They might just be ‘acting’ rich. Some use their money wisely instead of blowing it and thus, have less stress as they can pay their bills.
        • You will always be your own victim, if you can’t restrain yourself.
        • Make more of what you have and less of what you don’t have.
        • Some work hard on appearances, because they never felt like they could ‘measure up’ to others- They work have to give the appearance of a perfect appearance,  marriage, life.This may be from low self-esteem and can create problems such as eating disorders.)
        • No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. No matter how confident someone may look, there are times when they feel unsure and insecure. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they’re falling apart. Never think for a moment that you’re alone with your struggles. You’re not a mess. You’re human. – Lori Deschene
        • Facebook is perfect for those who are desperate for attention.

    SELF TALK  Self worth

        • Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”-Stephen Covey
        • Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.” -Arthur Christopher Benson
        • Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
        • Self-compassion rather than self-esteem may be the key to unlocking your potential for greatness. Self-compassion is a willingness to look at mistakes with understanding –embracing the fact that to err is indeed human- Heidi Grant Halvorson. (See failure)
        • How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
        • Love is the only game that two can play and both win.     (See forgiveness)
        • Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
        •  It is passion, not pedigree, that can and will win in the end. Free yourself from comparison. Just because someone has fancy sneakers doesn’t mean they can run faster. –Jon Bon Jovi
        • Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer
        • Don’t curl up in the fetal position wondering when someone is going to come in and save you. That’s an insecurity so you can blame someone else.
        • When things go wrong, avoid the trap of laying blame and don’t try to justify what happened. By doing so, we lose an opportunity to optimally learn from the situation. As much as possible is learned from each situation. As a result the next choice is more likely  to be wiser.
        • God will give you an abundance of opportunities and possibilities. Trust God Who knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) and who knew you before He formed you in the womb.  Jeremiah 1:5
        • “Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination.” – Mae Jemison
        • Hold an image of the life you want, and that image will become fact. – Norman Vincent Peale
        • Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” — Ellen DeGeneres
        • You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.”- Michael Jordan
        • Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”-Mary Kay Ash
        • “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
        • The sooner you stop comparing yourself to others the more attention you get to put on yourself.- Brooke Shields.
        • Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” — Stephen Covey
        •  Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” – Howard Thurman or also said this way: Ask not what the world needs; ask what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. —Howard Thurman
        • “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.”–Dr. Seuss
        • Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” – Milton Erickso
        • If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. – Booker T. Washington
        • Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. —Sarah Bernhardt
        • The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. —John Milton

    CAREGIVER / Caretaker

        • Caring for a loved one and despite the stress involved, men and women who put in the most time taking care of a spouse cut their own risk of dying by 36% over a seven year period.  Aiding a loved one may release the “bonding” hormone, oxytocin, countering cortisol, a stress hormone that can raise blood pressure and interfere with regulation of the immune system, the scientists speculate.
        • Anyone who has the opportunity to care for a parent will never regret doing so. It’s your best opportunity to say thank you. -Actor Robert Forster, of What They Had, on his personal experiences.
        • Video: The Heart of a Caregiver Tribute to the unsung heroes who commit their lives to provide loving care, healing and support for others during difficult times.
        • Some Grief Share allows caregivers and people who have other grief to join.

    HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER

        • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.
        • When you’re uptight the secret is to laugh away the tension.
        • Happiness is not found by changing what is around us, but through changing what is inside us.
        •  Health benefits of laughter
        • Laughter is proven to be healing
        • Laughter heals, It is the only language that everybody speaks.
        • It’s healthy — and important — to keep a good sense of humor and maintain lighthearted thoughts, even when faced with serious matters or recalling something painful. Laughter is like music. It lifts your spirits. -Tina Turner
        • Studies reveal that cancer patients who laugh live longer. Just laugh and you will feel the difference in  your body. -from A Book of Miracles: Inspiring True Stories of Healing, Gratitude and Love by Bernie S  Siegel, M.D.
        • Always laugh when you can. It’s cheap medicine- Lord Byron
        • Laughter is good exercise. It is like jogging on the inside.
        • Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. —Victor Borge.
        • Silliness relaxes you and gives you perspective.
        • Living hilariously is part of living abundantly. It’s something we were meant to do.
        • We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.
        • Laugh for happiness.  Video: Laughter is a Great Vacation
        • Video: Empty Pickle Jar  every day is a gift and the quality of your life is your gift to yourself. If you spend all your time and energy stressing out over the small stuff, you’ll never have room for the things that make you happy.
        • Happy is what we make it. Seize the day.
        • Happiness never decreases by being shared,
        • Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, yet the life of the first candle will not be shortened.
        • Happiness isn’t a condition; its a decision.
        • Happiness depends upon ourselves.  Aristotle
        • To find happiness, find gratitude.
        • It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no  scar to show for happiness. – Chuck Palahniuk, novelist
        • Pain is inevitable. Misery is a state of mind, a reaction to the facts, that can be controlled or altered by an act of will.  There really  is an option. You can choose to dwell on your troubles–or not. You can choose to be filled with gloom and despair, or you can bar the door to them. – Arthur Gordon in Guideposts
        • When you are most in despair, pray for someone else, not yourself.
        • If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it. – Immanuel Hermann von Fichte
        • Everyone is carrying the same burdens, the same woes one way or another. We have more in common than we know. A TSA agent told Peggy Noonan, columnist.
        • Video: Finding Joy Life can be complicated but happiness is really pretty simple.
        • Video: The Road to Happiness    Learning to find inner contentment in any situation.
        • Contentment is so underrated. We have it good. A huge part of the world is starving. We’re ok.
        • When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us- Helen Keller
        • The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do.- James M. Barrie
        • Happiness is a way of travel-not a destination. – Roy M. Goodman
        •   Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. —Thich Nhat Hanh
        • Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
        • The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. —Don Miguel Ruiz
        • Video: Paid in Full. The Secret to Living is Giving   (Giving is the guaranteed road to happiness is   quite simple…give to others. Make a difference in the lives of others and your own heart will be touched. All you need is a big heart and a little time.
        • Happiness happens when we give it away. – Max Lucado
        • Happiness is the key to success.
        • You hold the key to an unending source of happiness  by encouraging others.
        • The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. – Marcus Aurelius
        • It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. – Charles Spurgeon
        • Write it on you hear that every day is the best day in the year. – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
        • The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up- Mark Twain
        • If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.- Maya Angelou
        • You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
        •  An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him.-Zig Ziglar
        • Change means movement. Movement means friction. Friction means heat. Heat means controversy. The only place where there is no friction is in outer space.
        • Happiness can be thought taught and caught…but not bought- Harvey Mackay
        • Happiness is  a state of mind. It’s just according to the way you look at things. – Walt Disney
        • Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others – Martin Luther King Jr.
        • Five simple rules for happiness: Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less. – from 1000lifelessons.com
        •  You must choose between your attachments and happiness. —Adyashanti
        •  Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. —Unknown
        • Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you imagine it.  – George Lucas
        •  Not only is the kingdom of heaven within, but the kingdom of Hell is within as well – it’s your choice. —Unknown
        •  What we feel is not based on our experience, but on our INTERPRETATION of experiences. —Anthony Robbins

    MEMORIES

        • Collect memories, Not Stuff. Stop buying trinkets that give you momentary pleasure. Rather, make memories that will last a lifetime. Travel and visit as many places as  you can, reconnect and build friendships, and take plenty of photos along the way. Memories have given me much more long-lasting happiness than any physical object can bring!  – SriramSridhar    See Gifts of Experience
        • No one gets out of this world alive, so the time to live, learn, care, share, celebrate and love is now. –Dr. Leo Buscaglia
        • “Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. To be human is to sometimes feel fear, but God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. The more I am tested by fear, the more I must surrender it to God.  Our Heavenly Father, please take away my fear. Please help me to do what I need to do. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen                       Peace comes and strength-God’s strength- which is available to me anywhere.
        • Memories are sweet, cherish them”- Unknown
        • “Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” -Doug Ivester
        •  “I am not my memories. I am my dreams.” – Terry Hostetler
        • When it’s our time to leave this world no one can stop it. We have only one life to live. The material things we invest in are left behind, only to be discarded. Memories are important.
        •  There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, Ecc 3:1-2
        • No man has authority to restrain the wind with the wind, or authority over the day of death; and there is no discharge in the time of war, and evil will not deliver those who practice it.  Ecclesiastes 8:8

    ~~~~~~

    CREATIVITY AND IMAGINATION

        • Boldness to get things done without feeling guilty.- To be more creative to do something you don’t think you can do- Imagine you are someone else or in a different situation. – An eccentric poet, for example. Creativity is not an individual trait, but a malleable product of context and perspective. Ideas get drowned out because most of us spend too much time worrying about how successful or unsuccessful we will be and how little we are focusing on the task.  – unknown
        • Make bold moves, knowing that some will work and some won’t . Or make no moves, which guarantees that you will be an also-ran.
        • You can’t move mountains by whispering at them.
        • Creativity is intelligence having fun. ~ Albert Einstein
        • Scripture says you should put aside childish things when you grow up- willfulness, self-centeredness;  not imagination, creativity and joyful curiosity. Keep a child’s heart. Be unafraid to lead a happy life.
        • The happy mind is the curious mind. –William Feather
        • “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” – Albert Einstein
        • “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
        • “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Pablo Picasso
        • “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

    MONEY, INHERITANCE AND SUCCESS

        • Don’t always let your kids have something they ask for. Learning they have to wait for what they want helps them grow up to be more adaptable,  cooperative adults. Creative Deprivation.
        • Andrew Carnegie said, “The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth.” Cornelius Vanderbilt said, “Inherited wealth is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality.” Henry Ford stated, “Fortunes tend to self-destruction by destroying those who inherit them.” “An inheritance quickly gained at the beginning will not be blessed at the end” (Proverbs 20:21, NIV).
        • When it has been deeply ingrained in children that love is bought with material things–if you buy them too little they are mad; if you buy them too much they are mad. No one will be able to please them. It is a measure of their own deep seated insecurity.
        • When one has their own work or money in something they will think before they tear it up. They will be choosier with what they buy if they have earned it.
        • I’m interested in getting rid of dependency, and I want us to find a way to allow people to excel in our society, and as more and more people hear that message, they will recognize who is truly on their side and who is trying to keep them suppressed and cultivate their votes. – Ben Carson in a 2015 speech.
        • Don’t scrimp in order to leave money to your children. Wise parents can leave enough to their children and grandchildren to be helpful without leaving them so much as to hurt them.  Leave your children only enough to be of modest assistance, but not enough to change their lifestyles or undercut their need to plan and pray. Give your kids just  enough money to do something, not enough to do nothing. (The movie The Descendants)  You are not “entitled”.
        • Peter Buffet, on his billionaire father Warren’s refusal to help in a financial hardship: It is an act of love to say, “I believe in you as my child, and you don’t need my help.”
        • There are good parents and bad parents. Bad parents often provide their children all their material needs, but they are indulgent, distant and unloving. Good parents are easily recognized by their attention to discipline when appropriate.
        • “What makes you comfortable can ruin you, and what makes you uncomfortable is the only way to grow.” – Bill Eckstrom in his 2017  TEDx talk
        • It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. – Ann Landers
        • May you be successful in teaching your child compassion and generosity-your gift that carries on long after you are gone
        •  Trying to buy  love never works. Children who are overindulged and undisciplined invariably are insecure and unhappy. They may present self-centeredness and obnoxiousness. When she reaches adulthood she will expect all males to cater to her as her parent did.
        • With the cost of maintenance, repairs, taxes, insurance and HOA fees, it is often more of a struggle trying to keep a house to have something to leave to your kids.
        • Everyone would be proud to have a thoughtful son like: this from Nov 4, 2012 unlike this one or this one.  And the followup here when you scroll down to where it says “sad dad”.
        • Percy Ross gave his money away before he died and we, as your parents, have that right, too.
        • At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry and you gave me food to eat…I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in. ~ Mother Teresa (See Matthew 25:35-40)
        • Success is a journey not a destination.The only way to be truly successful is to help other people become successful.  Labor not to be rich but to help the poor.  With riches one inherits obligations. Don’t focus on money. ( See Proverbs 23:4) Affluence changes people. Too much money is not good for the soul.   ~ Hoagland
        • A little that a righteous man hath is better than that riches of many wicked.  – Psalms 37:16
        • I have begun everything with the idea that I could succeed, and I never have much patience with the multitudes of people who are always ready to explain why one cannot succeed. Booker T. Washington

    Evil-

        •  Evil is the absence of good, or better, evil is the absence of God. God did not have to create evil, but rather only allow for the absence of good. God did not create evil, but He does allow evil.
        • The only thing needed for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.
        • Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our duty as we understand it. – Abraham Lincoln

    CHARACTER

        • Money is power-power for good, power for The only thing needed, accordingly as it is used. Power is a test–the test of character.
        •  Self-worth is determined by your character, not by you having the right shoes.
        • Sports don’t build character; they reveal it.
        • Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. – Abraham Lincoln
        • What you do makes you what you are.
        • You can speak with spiritual eloquence, pray in public, and maintain a holy appearance…but it is your behavior that will reveal your true character. – Steve Maraboli
        • Destiny- Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your DESTINY.
        • It cost $0.00 to be a decent person.
        • A pretty face means little if you have an ugly heart.
        • Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Do be impressed by kindness, integrity, humility and generosity.
        • In describing a suspicious character who has visited his home, Ralph Waldo Emerson said,  “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
        • ctrl “f’ here for character.

    HOUSE

        •  Don’t buy a home based on what a Realtor says you can afford. Realtors are not money experts, by any means. They are simply sales people, making a commission of what they can sell you!  If you buy as much as they tell you that you can possibly afford when unexpected expenses  pop up, which they will (the air conditioning goes out, you will need a new roof, hot water tank, lawn mower for example) you need to have reserves set aside for that and won’t have if you are paying every extra penny toward the house payment.
        • Downsizing- When the time comes that you don’t have the strength or stamina to shovel the sidewalk, clean the gutters and take care of all the things a house requires you might want to move to a smaller place. It might be an apartment close to stores and public transportation or to a retirement community that includes transportation, home maintenance and organized gatherings and outings. Happiness isn’t about how many rooms of stuff you hove. Great memories don’t take up space, which means there is plenty of room for making new ones.

    Inconsiderate grown up: here.

    1/2/2014

    Dear Amy: Our 27-year-old daughter has a well-paying job and a sports car parked in the garage of her new home (with pool), which we have only seen in pictures.

    Our calls go to her voice mail and are not returned. Since she started college we have seen her only a few times. Unless she wants money, we hear from her only right before her birthday or Christmas to “remind us.”

    We send her a nice check. We don’t get a thank you or any communication most of the time. Over the years we have done quite a bit for her, but we don’t rate an e-mail or call for our own birthdays or other occasions.

    Money is extremely important to her and she spends it liberally on herself. We are savers and do not live above our means.

    She knows she will inherit a nice amount some day and has bragged several times that she loves being the only child because she gets so much more that way. We lived our lives around her schedule, giving her things while not splurging on ourselves. Now we are cut out of her life.

    I wonder what we “owe” her. My wife thinks we must continue on as we have and insists we must leave her a large inheritance. I think things need to change, but I am not sure where to start. — Sad Dad

    Dear Dad: Things do need to change. You and your wife should discuss this, ideally with a neutral third party such as a professional counselor (and financial planner).

    Your daughter excels at taking care of herself. You two should start to value and love yourselves more. This means making choices about your spending and inheritance that will satisfy and reflect your own values. You might want to spend down the inheritance over time by supporting local causes.

    Write to your daughter and let her know that you would love to know her better as a person, but that the money spigot is being turned off. I realize this is potentially heartbreaking because she is your only child, but once money is off the table, you will discover what — if anything — is left.

    See comment: here. It is the bottom of the next to last one in the column under Sad Dad.  Amy points out this is neglect coupled with entitlement
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    CHILDREN

        • If kids know the rules and break them they see they made their own decision to lose privileges.
        • Give children responsibility and allow them to participate in decision making at home as much as their abilities allow. This encourages them to make their own judgments about things and helps them become  adults “who don’t simply go along with society, but who have the courage and internal strength to look at a situation and say, This isn’t right.
        • There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: one is roots, the other, wings.
        • Parents who lay a strong foundation by disciplining them early  won’t have to fix the cracks later.
        • Parenthood, even when it’s unexpected and imposed can have a miraculous ability to transform a person’s life. Parents find their purpose; the opportunity to develop the character of their children. Love is kind of a miracle itself, and God can use that powerfully.
        • Parent with the end in mind.  Lessons in cooperation- When the kids are fighting, their behavior shows they need practice in cooperation. Sending them to their room teaches them to walk away from problems. Instead give them a job to be done and do not tell them how to do it. (Suggestion: Assign a job they normally don’t do, such as sweeping the floor.  They will have to cooperate with each other and without arguing to sweep it into the dustpan.) This is an opportunity to practice respect, communication and teamwork; skills you hope they’ll have in adulthood.   Stipulate they must 1. complete the job together 2. to Mom’s or Dad’s satisfaction 3. If they argue there is a price to pay.
        • Family that works together and prays together, stays together. (Building a house together give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.)
        • Adversity introduces a man to himself. -unknown
        • Adversity adds character and compassion. Children who know poverty may only have only one bike to share (if any at all) so if it breaks they figure out how to fix it. Then they learn how to fix other items such as their car. They gain mechanical skills early on which can be a real blessing in life.
        • Children possess the power to influence the welfare of others –both positively and negatively. If children are treated harshly and punitively you cannot expect them to learn values and character. Instead,  focus on the positive and reward kids for doing what is desirable, rather than punishing them for undesirable actions.
        • Video: To a Child Love is Spelled T-I-M-E  encourages parents to make time for what’s most important in life.
        • Your kids will never remember how much you made but what you were.
        • When you have your own kids and want them to listen to you, don’t yell at them.  Whisper so they have to lean in. It also works with adults. (Turn the television or computer volume way down so they have to listen to hear.)
        • My grandparents didn’t have a lot as the money they did have they shared with as many people as they could by taking in kids who didn’t have a place to go. They had to save change to buy us a Christmas gift. I will always remember the gifts they gave me. One year it was pencils with my name imprinted, another year it was a heart shaped necklace and another year a book bag.
        • Teachers today abjure competition. The fact remains that if nothing is at stake, effort disappears.
        • All children want to do the right thing and deeply value your positive opinion. Praise them for what you see them doing right. When he slips up–and he will– acknowledge it, but act as if its the exception rather the rule. Gently mention that he must be disappointed in himself as this just isn’t like him.   Calling him names will lower his self-esteem. When you paint a positive picture of him, he will try to live up to it.
        • World, take my son by the hand–he starts to school today! It’s all going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now, he’s been king of the roost. He’s been the boss of the backyard. I have always been around to repair his wounds, and I’ve always been handy to soothe his feelings. But now things are going to be different. This morning he’s going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start on a great adventure that probably will include wars and tragedy and sorrow. To live in this world will require faith and love and courage. So World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him–but gently, if you can. He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just–that all men are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick. Teach him the wonders of books. Give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill. Teach him that it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong. Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd then everyone else is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to all men, but to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and to take only the good that comes through. Teach him to sell his brawn and brains to the highest bidders but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob–and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right. Teach him gently, World, but don’t coddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel. This is a big order, World, but see what you can do. He’s such a nice little fellow. -unknown
        • One way we enable the sin of others is by rescuing them from their rightful consequences. God uses consequences to teach us lessons we would not otherwise learn. When a parent bails a rebellious son out of jail, that parent is enabling the rebellion to continue. When a Christian allows his friends to talk him into going to a place he knows will lead to sinful behavior, he is participating in the sin of others. We give others freedom to make their own choices, but we must also allow them to reap the consequences of those choices (Galatians 6:7). We often enable the sin of others because of a false sense of compassion or because we want to be needed. But in shielding someone from the natural consequences of sin, we rob that person of the wisdom God wanted to impart to him or her. It’s never easy to see a loved one experience difficulty, but sometimes the difficulty is just what God wants to use to teach an important life lesson.Just as others have freedom to make their own choices, we also have freedom to choose, and we can refuse to participate in the sin of others. Many times we allow ourselves to be pulled into someone else’s sin because we fear losing the relationship. In doing so, we have allowed that person to take the place of God in our hearts. When the desire of someone else supersedes the desire of God, we have slipped into idolatry (Exodus 20:3; 34:14). We can avoid enabling someone else’s sin by making a final decision about who directs our lives. If we have given our lives to Christ, then He is the final authority on any decision (2 Corinthians 10:5; Acts 5:29). If Jesus would not make it easier for a person to sin, then we shouldn’t, either.  Read all of it here:  https://www.facebook.com/WalkInFaithEveryday/posts/question-how-can-i-avoid-enabling-someone-elses-sinanswer-to-enable-sin-is-to-em/558234064326737/

    TEACHING

        • The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.-  H.L. Mencken
        • A teacher isn’t someone who teaches something but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover that she already knows.- Paulo Coelho
        • As you learn you can help mentor others–yes, even those older than you.
        • Teach them the quiet words of kindness, to live beyond themselves. Urge them toward excellence, drive them toward gentleness, pull them deep into yourself, pull them upward toward manhood, but softly like an angle arranging clouds. Let your spirit move through them softly. – Pat Conroy
        • See kindness

        SIMPLE WAYS TO HELP KIDS LEARN

        • Flash cards are good for vocabulary
        • Flash cards are fun for the older child to teach the younger. Teach them jingles to learn and remember their address and mom’s phone number.
        • Don’t pay the restaurant check silently. Tell your kids about tax and how to figure the tip.
        • The brightest students don’t always get the best grades. For them, learning comes too easily and they never learn how to buckle down. Some put in less time at the books than lower scoring classmates. Later in life students with high IQs sometimes don’t do as well as classmates with lower IQs. (The simple reason is the C & D students aren’t afraid to think outside the box, while A students are good at taking direction /orders from others.)
        • If your child doesn’t like to read find a book about something he really likes and give it to him for his birthday or at the foot of his bed so he wakes up to it on Christmas Eve.
        •  Keep reading…If you understand what you are reading, you will be smarter than other kids.
        • Teaching your child to tie his shoes: Through the tunnel and make the bow, tie the loop and there you go.
        • Teaching your child fractions at a very young age: make a cake, fill a gas tank, cut a pizza, weigh, etc.
        • A life long reader is a life long learner
        • Bring up a child with criticism and they grow up negative.
        • All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten Book by Robert Fulghum
        • I love you, darling and I want others to see how special you are.  A parent who  doesn’t  bother to teach their child right from wrong doesn’t love them very much. That kid will be hated by people. Who wants that to happen to someone you love? Plus, I don’t want people to think your parents had no social skills.
        • Find free things for kids google: freethingsfor kids  along with your city
        • listen and your baby will tell you what is wrong and what it needs

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    MOTHERS

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    PURPOSE- See Happiness  (See making a lot of friends and volunteering)

    • True happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. -Helen Keller
    • Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.–Robert Brault
    • Having purpose may help one cope with daily stress.
    • As you are blessed, God’s will is for you to bless others. You are prepared for a purpose and blessed to be a blessing.
    • We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. – Winston Churchill.
    • The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and they day you find out why,
    • Our time on earth is short and we never know when it will end, so while we are here we need to live it to the fullest.
    • Eyes that see those falling behind and a heart to do something about it.
    • Every day try to do something for someone. Be caring. Tell someone they are beautiful or worthy, hold the hand of a dying person,   Remember your blessings everyday. Be nice. Take care of each other. Honor people.
    • The purpose of life is a life of purpose -Robert Byrne
    • Life is a test to determine where you will spend eternity. Other than our relationship with God, nothing lasts from this life. Give away what you don’t need.
    • If love is the answer, then do more of it. If you love only the people who are like you–who have the same values, the same economic  and educational background–you’re not really doing much except loving yourself. Rev. Rick Reynolds
    • Love humanity in spite of its shortcomings.
    • We are not here merely to make a living. We are here to enrich the world. —Woodrow Wilson
    •  A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. —Lou Holtz
    • Whether you KNOW it or not, ACCEPT it or not, with each moment that passes, you get closer to fulfilling your life’s purpose. —Dena Botbyl
    • Video: The Butterfly Effect One small thing we do can have far reaching consequences; good or bad. Live a life of permanent purpose.  Calculate the consequences of every possible decision. “Think it through.”
    • Be decisive. Right or wrong or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision,
    • Don’t try to be perfect or “strain after the unattainable” or “postulate the unknowable.” Don’t assume that life has too much purpose. “What is the end of human life except the enjoyment of it?
    • Be present. Engaged. The feeling of being useful…we find our sense of purpose.

    WORRY VS. PEACE see also fear fear

    • We lose the joy of living in the present when we worry about the future.
    • The only real antidote to worry is purposeful action in the direction of your goals.
    • Worry is the devil in our lives.
    • Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.- Unknown –
    • Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
    • You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
    • Worry clutters up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.
    • Worry does not take away tomorrow’s trouble. It takes away today’s peace. Carole Brock
    • Worry is a bad habit, one where we steal from ourselves the peace of mind God’s grace is meant to provide.
    • You can worry yourself to death, but silliness relaxes you and gives you perspective.
    •  To me faith means not worrying. Let your faith be bigger than your fears.
    • When you run out of gas, you won’t get much help from anyone whose tank is also empty. You need somebody who has enough  to let you siphon some. When you have doubts and your faith is running low, go to believers–to friends who share their faith with you. Yours will be replenished when you see and hear about theirs.-unknown
    • My faith is the guiding force in my life. It keeps me grounded, aids in every decision I make. It’s the foundation. With a rocky foundation, you will stumble, but with a solid one, you will flourish.- Octavia Spencer, Oscar-winning actress.
    •  Stand up to fears in the name of the Lord-walk on earth in His image.
    • There are only two responses to the world; fear or love. Your life depends on which one you choose.- Deepak Chopra, author
    • Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Your image of self will be upgraded and confidence will flood your mind and drive out doubts.
  • F.A.I.T.H.  (Facing All I Trust Him) As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can. —Julius Caesar
  • If you deal with the present, you don’t have to worry about the future.
  • In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry. Be happy. —Bobby McFerrin
  • Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing Whom to thank- Amish proverb.
  • If Christians understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. During.WWII there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing the prescribed hour for one minute to pray for the safety of England, its people and peace. This is now a group of people organizing the same in America.
  • Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God.
  • Never underestimate the power of prayer.
  • There is no medicine better than prayer, and no doctor better than our creator. -Paul Nison
  •  Prayer is the time God has reserved for us when He can recalibrate our thinking and renew His peace in our mind an soul. – Jim Maxim, from 21 Days of Breakthrough Prayer
  • Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
  • God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
  • Control what you can. Pray about what you can’t. – Trent Shelton
  • The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His Almighty. -Corrie ten Boom   (Corrie, and her close family, managed to save an estimated 800 lives during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. During the War, her profound religious faith and belief in God’s plans gave her the bravery and resourcefulness to make it through situations worthy of a spy story. But it was after the war that she achieved her greatest accomplishment – forgiving her former enemies and teaching the world to do the same.)
  • God has given us a book of prayers in the Bible;  the book of Psalms has prayers for every imaginable circumstance of life. These prayers are pleasing to God because they are Scripture; they were breathed out by the Holy Spirit through the experiences of David and the other writers of these psalms.To  grow in this holy art of prayer, the book of Psalms is the place to go.
  • Be prayerful in all things and ask someone to pray in agreement with you  for Wisdom, strength and peace and awareness of what God wants you to do.  (Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye  shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:   For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7–8)
  • Ask God for strength for help in rising above the circumstances.
  • When we stop to pray,  God is already ahead of us, waiting for us to catch up.

Strength

  •  Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life for you to find a David within you.
  • Never grow a wishbone,  where your backbone ought to be. —Clementine Paddleford
  •  Whatever I fight weakens me. Whatever I cooperate with strengthens me. —Wayne Dyer
  •  I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. —Aristotle
  •  The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. —Joseph Campbell

GRACE  and HOPE and confidence , See Faith

  • Video: Hope pure and simple   Life gets busy, making it easy to lose hope. A message of God’s love & grace in the midst of even the toughest times.  We have the luxury to choose to live a simple life.
  • I do not understand the mystery of grace–only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us. — Anne Lamott
  • Grace is a consequence of humility.
  • Grace is when God gives us good things that we don’t deserve.  Mercy is when He spares us from bad things we deserve. Blessings are when He is generous with both.
  • Sense of hope is the basic component of cheerfulness.
  • Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which al things thrive.  ~ Johann Paul Richter.
  • If you lose all hope, you stop trying and you stop caring. Each of us is put here to dilute the misery in the world.
  •  “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” — Christopher Reeve
  • In facing the unknown, hope is as reasonable as despair.
  • Hope is heavy. The Bible carries it; an anchor for your soul.
  • Hope is wishing for a thing to come true; faith is believing that it will come true. Believe that for every problem God will provide you with a solution. -Norman Vincent Peale.
  • Jesus experienced every negative emotion we go through.  He also defeated them all, which gives us hope and confidence to do the same. -Creflo Dollar
  • The loss of hope is the worst thing, You restore hope by helping people.
  • What an anchor is to a ship, hope is to the soul. Both ships and souls are kept safe by a firm, secure anchor that keeps holding despite turbulent winds and churning tides,
  • You will find God in the small moments when we are at our most human – imperfect, confused and longing for hope. That is where God will meet you. -unknown
  • The happiest people are fearless dreamers. They use their imaginations to create hope and possibility- Ian K. Smith, M.D.
  •  Let go and let God. —Unknown
  • God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. You were never not coming here. —Sufi poem
  •  Jesus didn’t say ‘follow Christians’. He said ‘follow me. Many people have a hard time believing in God, because they’ve seen people fall who profess to be Christians. We aren’t perfect, but He is.  We fall down but He gets us back up.
  •  There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. —Louis L’Amour
  •  Act, & God will act. —Joan of Arc
  •  When you let go of the need for any and all outcomes life becomes a creative magical adventure. —Deepak Chopra
  • Whatever is… is best. —Ella Wheeler Wilcox

WHAT OTHERS THINK (Self-worth) See Rejection and Bullies

  • You shouldn’t be concerned about what others think, but about what Jesus thinks.
  • If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. – Michael Jordan   A lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
  • If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you’ll get the best.
  • Smart boss doesn’t want ‘yes’ men. Want those who make him look good by winning ideas/have innovative ideas.
  • Find the marvel in the mundane.
  • If you were offered four pencils to pay you for babysitting for an hour would you do it? That is the exact deal you get by blowing one hours worth of time on four pencils.
  • What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Henry Stanley Haskins, author
  • Humor is the shock  absorber of life; it helps us take the blows.
  • Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.
  • A lump in the oatmeal and a lump in a mattress are not the same as a lump in the breast. Learn to know the difference – R. Fulghum  (You don’t sweat the small stuff after  you lose your 11 month old baby to SIDS.
  • Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is the triumph of some enthusiasm – Emerson , a mover and shaker.

FALLING IN LOVE

  • When two people fall in love, past and future disappear. —The Alchemist
  •  Be passionate in your love life, partaking of it as a feast and appreciating its small pleasures.

TRUE LOVE

  • True love God already gave us. You are good enough, imperfect as you are. You have the love that completes you, the love that never fails, the truest love of all. God’s love, a love that never goes away. Open hearted, unconditional love. Love you can rely on.  God loves us without limits.
  • Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. Peter 2:17
  •  Love means protection, adoration, mutual growth, & respect above all other things. Without this, love is an illusion, a confused attachment. —Dena Botbyl
  • I have learned that it is more important to be loved by the people you know than adored by the ones you don’t.

INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION  See Just do it and challenge, and jealousy

        • It does wonder for my own psyche to turn envy into inspiration. No matter how successful we become, we’re never above that. -Hillman Curtis
        • Video: Nature’s Inspiration Breathtaking! May the beauty, wonder, and the joy of nature always bring joy to your soul.
        • Video: Inspiration 365 Days a Year a brief selection of Zig Ziglar’s favorite inspirational quotes.
        • Video: Motivations Quotes The right words can engage the brain &  bring an idea to life
        • I think that 60 percent of inspiration is organization- fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi
        • You find inspiration in everything. IF you can’t, then you aren’t looking properly. -Paul Smith Fashion designer

    COURAGE also see fear

            • Video: Paper Airplane Thought-provoking story about vision, courage and a sixth grader’s unique response to a class project.
            • Courage can be a form of tenaciousness, a refusal to quit because you are tired, hurt, humiliated or emotionally broken. Courage is the ability to face what life throws in your path on a daily basis.
            • Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”   He will not leave you or forsake you Deuteronomy 31:6;  Joshua 1:9; 1 Chronicles 28:20; Psalm 31:24; Ephesians 6:10-18; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 16:8; Psalm 56:3-4; Ephesians 6:10; 1 Chronicles 16:11; 1 Corinthians 15:57  See more here: https://www.openbible.info/topics/courage
            • Three men (Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego) were bound and cast into the fire. Yet four men were seen unhurt and loose, walking in the fire. The fourth had the appearance of the Son of God.  God did not take them out of the fiery furnace. God was in the flames, with them. The promise has never been about safety or that bad things would not happen if we were good and virtuous. The promise is only that God is in it with us, no matter what it is. He is with us when we need courage and are given courage we never knew we had. Every day is a miracle. Ask for help daily.
            • In times of crisis you have two options–running from God or turning to God– Bryan Bedford, CEO of Frontier Airlines.
            • Courage is grace under pressure. – Ernest Hemingway     That is a good barometer of character. The best problem solvers face the most perplexing challenges without breaking a sweat. You can get in the zone by mentally preparing. Michael Jordan’s face was so serene and peaceful.
            • Hope and courage gives you miracles and blessings.
            • Courage defines all other human behavior. Pretending to be courageous will carry you through. solution
            • We have a choice-to implode and disintegrate emotionally and spiritually or to become stronger through all of this struggle to rebuild on a solid foundation. That foundation is our trust in God- Rev Billy Graham Sept 14, 2001, after the NY Trade Center attack
            • You can’t see anything sitting in the back (Nothing is gained by complacency).

            FEAR Fear

            • Our greatest fear should not be of failure … but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan
            • Jesus Christ is the key to letting go of fear and doing the things you once feared.
            • There is only one thing which makes a dream impossible to achieve; the fear of failure.–Paulo Coelho
            • Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment. -Russ Quaglia and Doug Hall in San Jose Mercary News
            • Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.” – David M. Burns
            • “Do one thing every day that scares you.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
            • Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile…initially scared me to death. —Betty Bender
            • Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain.
            • Fearis one of the biggest drivers of emotions.
            • When you do the thing you fear the most, you put an end to fear.
            • I can pay attention to fear and get nothing done or ignorant and march ahead. Some people watch the parade go by. Others march in it. Be the Grand Marshal. Keep marching.
            • Fear can motivate you when you ask yourself how you are going to pay those bills.
            • Obstacles are fears that need to be transformed. When you have successfully released and transformed them you are one stop close to your dream.
            • If you feel like life is passing you by, throw yourself into the small things and repeat to yourself, ‘This siwhere I start’.
            • Take a big challenge and chop it to bite size pieces–public speaking may be your fear. ARm yourself with facts, humor and enthusiasm.
            • “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
            • “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” -Henry Ford
            • Sometimes doing the one thing you don’t want to do can be the best thing you have done.
            • “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” -Tim Ferriss
            •  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. —Eleanor Roosevelt
            •  Many people are afraid of the dark, but the real tragedy is those who are afraid of the light. —Unknown
            • “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. We must do that which we think we cannot.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
            • Love is what we are born with. Fear is not.
            •  I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. —Galileo Galilei
            •  The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. —Unknown
            •  In order to dominate the soul you must also learn to dominate the body. And in order to dominate the body you cannot fear pain. —Paulo Coelho
            •  Every shadow—no matter how deep—is threatened by morning light. —Unknown
            • By acting bravely we become brave; not the other way round. —Unknown
            • Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
            •  “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” – Deepak Chopra
            • When the lion is chasing the antelope, he doesn’t look back. He has to eat. —Robert Cheruiyot

    FOOLISHNESS / ACTING STUPID

            • “Don’t let a little a little fear or common sense stop you.” (When you are doing something foolish.)
            • Genius has limits, stupidity doesn’t.
            • Stupid is, as stupid does.
            • Stupid is knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.

            ON BUYING OR SELLING A HOME

            • As Baby Boomers continue to age there *will be more desire for single story (one level) homes and not the two-story McMansions. Buy up homes around 2,000 sq feet. Remodel them with nice amenities and you will do well.  (*All Baby Boomers will be 65 or older by Dec 31, 2029, which is only 10 years from Dec 31, 2019!)
            • Selling a home without a Realtor 

    PERSEVERANCE / PERSISTENCE (See Success)

                  • Video: The Best Way Out is Always Through The power of perseverance! We all have doubts, fears and disappointments in our lives. During those times, we look for shots of inspiration and encouragement to get us through.
                  • God can turn your disappointments into his appointments.
                  • Pray, hope, don’t worry.
                  • Perseverance is another name for success. – Anon
                  • I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back. – Abraham Lincoln
                  • The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.  – Cecil B. De Mille
                  •  “Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want.” – Richard Koch
                  • Aim at something.
                  • Persistence is the key  to unlock a world of possibilities!  If you’re determined nothing can stop you.
                  • “The difference between winning and losing is most often not quitting.” – Walt Disney
                  • In trying times, don’t quit trying.
                  • “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” -William E. Channing
                  • The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. -Abigail Adams
                  • In every conflict there is an opportunity to serve God.
                  • Some of the greatest conflicts are not between tow people, but between one person and himself. -unknown
                  • Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent. –Steve  Martin, Comedian
                  • “Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate you are sure to wake up somebody.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
                  • “Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth.” -Julie Andrews
                  • “Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
                  • ” The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”-Calvin Coolidge
                  • Video: 212º The Extra Degree   At 211º water is hot. At 212º, it boils. And with boiling water, comes steam. And steam can power a locomotive. The one extra degree makes the difference.
                  • Adversity builds character. It is also an experience, not a final act.   There are times in everyone’s life when something constructive is born out of adversity.
                  • How you handle adversity in the workplace has much more impact on your career than how you handle the good stuff. When pessimistic people run into obstacles in the workplace, in relationships or in sports, they give up. When optimistic people encounter obstacles, they try harder.  They people who know how to overcome adversity are the ones who rise to the top of the organization. – Quoted by HEath Row in Fast Company
                  • Don’t give up. A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to its job.
                  • Never give up your passion.
                  • Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.- Bill Bradley
                  • Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” – Napoleon Hill
                  • First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. – Epictetus
                  • It is the nature of ambition to make men liars and cheats, to hid truth in their breasts, and show, like jugglers, another think in their mouths, to cu all friendships and enmities to the measure of their own interest.  -Kenneth Tynan
                  • Ambition is most aroused by the trumpet-clang of another’s fame.   – Baltasar Gracian
                  • We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. – Oscar Wilde.
                  • Without the dark, you would never see the stars.
                  • He who does not hope to win has already lost. – Jose Joaquin Olmedoe
                  • If you want to succeed, be like a duck: Above the surface, serene and calm, but below the surface, paddle like crazy.
                  • The harder the journey, the more glorious the victory.
                  •  Before every victory, there’s a battle to fight. Before every sunrise, one must live through the night. “Contrast”- Joan Ewing 1978
                  • Celebrate victories.

                  PATIENCE -Ctrl f

                • The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.
                • Patience is not about waiting, but how we act when things take longer than we expect.- Paul Coeho
                • Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

                HOW TO STAY YOUNG

                • Try everything twice. On one woman’s tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:”Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!”
                • Whose heart isn’t young again at the sight of a child’s wonder and excitement?
                • No matter how hard you work, make sure you leave enough room to have a good time.

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations are not on this list but can be found here.

                Harvey Mackay

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                FAITH

                • Great strength comes from faith in God.
                • Our greatest debt caused by sin is erased by faith in God.
                • Faith does not make things easy–it makes them possible Bianca Olthoff, inspirational author
                • Hope is reborn in the form of faith, faith that God will take over, even if you can’t yet see how.
                • Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase ~Martin Luther King Jr.
                • Coincidence? Things happen for a reason. They are part of the journey.
                • When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught how to fly.- unknown
                • Even if no one else believes in you, the Lord does.
                •  Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip.
                • The most common way people give up  is by thinking they don’t have any power. Faith has transformative power.
                • The only true foundation there can be for anything in this world is solid faith.
                • Its not the time to build a foundation in the midst of a storm.
                •  In a dark place your faith can be with you. Reach out to Him, He may be the  only one who knows you are there. Feel  God’s presence. Trust Him with everything. Let it go.
                • Remind yourself that problems come not to obstruct but to instruct.
                • That which was meant to leave you broken can be used by God to make you brave. -Nona Jones
                • What the devil meant for evil, God meant for good. He was able to take the greatest evil ever committed (the killing of the Son of God) and use it for the greatest good (the salvation of humankind).
                • Everything starts with faith. Faith causes us to see good things in the future, and because of this we develop a vision of success and prosperity in life. – Casey Treat
                • Is faith your first response or your last resort?
                • With wings of faith, you can rise and soar
                • Faith is the greatest resource we have for coping with tough times.
                • No matter how bad it is, it could always be worse. Be tough and plow through. -Tanya Tucker’s Dad.
                • Love yourself for who you are and what God made you. Only then can you use your faith to chase your dreams.
                • If you hold on to your faith it will get you through.
                • When He calls us, He equips us.
                • Take one day at a time.
                • No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                GOALS/ DREAMS/ PASSION  (See also Success, Challenge yourself)

                • Begin and God will do the rest. God has a plan for each of us.
                • Just do it! – Nike
                • When you reach one goal, get a new one.
                • The difference between a wish and a goal is that a goal is written down.
                • Go for the amazing.
                • If a man could have half of his wishes, he would have double his troubles. -Benjamin Franklin
                • Without a plan, people feel they are getting nowhere.Establish a general life plan based on what you’d like to do. Map it out in five-year periods.
                • Keep doing what you need to do, preparing for  and waiting on Gods timing. Nehemiah equipped his mind and heart to be ready for that opportunity to help his people rebuild Jerusalem which came in God’s time, not his.
                • If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else!- Yoga Berra
                •  Set goals. Make a plan. A goal is a dream with a plan. Write out your five, ten, fifteen and twenty year goals. (Many people set their goals way too low. ) Then write the steps it will take to reach each goal and get started. Goals are nothing without action.
                • Organizing, planning and executing- Based on desired outcome, plan each day with regard to time needed to meet daily and weekly goals.
                •  I press on toward the goal to win the prize, for which God has called me Heavenward in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 3:12
                • “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” ~ Alan Kay
                •   “We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” – Earl Nightingale
                • What you think about will get rooted in your heart. Toxic thoughts will create a toxic environment in your heart. To be completely and totally well we have to be well in all areas of our lives, including our minds.
                •  “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.”-Colin Powell
                • Man makes his plans, but God determines his steps. Proverbs.
                • God has plans for you to have what  you need, when you need it, to move up from where  you’ve been in life. Plans to give you hope and a future, just like the Bible says.
                • Reach for the stars.  Don’t let limitations define your goals. Lay out a strategy for reaching your goals, plot a time by which to reach them and plan ways to overcome likely problems.
                • Set goals to change yourself, and thus, your future.
                • You don’t have to be the same person today that you were yesterday
                • When it comes to your dream–whatever they are–you gotta go for them. If you don’t, it’s an automatic ‘No!” With need to go get your ‘Yes’.
                • Give God your biggest dream, work hard and see how it all works out.
                • Nehemiah in the Bible faces great opposition- scorn, hatred, threats-yet he never let any of that sway him from his goal. He rallied his team to defend themselves against  attacks and continued rebuilding the wall, rebuilding t hem knowing that God was with them every step of the way.
                • Dreams–real dream –don’t come easily. Making them come true takes hard work.
                • Make your prayers so big, ask for things that go deep and seem impossible.
                • Think big, dream big, pray big and don’t listen to people who tell you it can’t be done.   The possibilities for the future are unlimited.- Normal Vincent Peale
                • Visionaries are people who see beyond their abilities.
                • The Lord promised if we delight in Him, he will give us the desires of our heart.  He says He has engraved us in the palms of His hands. Isaiah 49: 16  (It is something done that will never or could ever be undone. Being engraved in the palms of God’s hands means we are safe in the permanence of His love.)
                • What you want: Write it out in vivid detail and put it up where you will see it everyday. If it isn’t God’s will there will be something else.
                • “When you cease to dream you cease to live.” — Malcolm Forbes
                • Don’t let roadblocks stop you.  Find a way to go around them to continue your journey.
                • “Everything you can imagine is real.” — Pablo Picasso
                • “If you love what you do and are willing to do what it takes, it’s within your reach. And it’ll be worth every minute you spend alone at night, thinking and thinking about what it is you want to design or build.” — Steve Wozniak
                • “If you work just for money, you’ll never make it, but if you love what you’re doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours.”–Ray Kroc
                •  “In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it.” — Jane Smiley
                • “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” — Jim Rohn
                • “But you have to do what you dream of doing even while you’re afraid.” – Arianna Huffington
                • Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titantic. – Dave Barry
                • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot
                • If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.” – Celestine Chua
                • If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn
                • Take control of you life!  Set  your goals by deciding where you want to be in 30 years? 25? 20? 15? 10? 5? 1?  Then break it down by what you have to do to get there, starting immediately.
                • Make a plan for your life while you are young. Otherwise it is like taking off to get to NYC without a map or street signs.
                • Goals that are put in writing are dreams with deadlines.
                • Goals are dreams with deadlines.” -Diana Scharf Hunt
                • Define realistic goals to make real progress (another by Harvey Mackay,  January 2, 2011) Also found here
                • Don’t just work hard, work hard on getting there.  Decide on your goals, then channel your efforts, instead of letting things just happen to you.
                • Writing down goals is like having a road map: you won’t easily get from here to New York City without a map.  Write in specific detail what steps you must take to reach them.  Play out in your head the relevant detail for every conceivable option and scenario. Then stay focused on working toward them, instead of letting things just happen.   As each goal is accomplished, bigger and more exciting ones will fill their place.
                • If you’re bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals. —Lou Holtz
                • “One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests.” – John Stuart Mill
                • “By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands–your own.”-Mark Victor Hansen
                • The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” -Benjamin Mays
                • “You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.” -Booker T. Washington
                • “Goals help focus you on areas in both your personal and professional life that are important and meaningful, rather than being guided by what other people want you to be, do, or accomplish.” -Catherine Pulsifer
                • Everyone wants to be strong and self sufficient, but few are willing to put in the work necessary to achieve worthy goals. —Gandhi
                • Be strong in a world that’s weak. Don’t let others set your limitations. People can find miracle within themselves–find their own true strength.
                • “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman
                • “Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” ~ William Faulkner
                • “When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.”–Cynthia Occelli
                • “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”–Goethe
                • “You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills.”–Jim Rohn
                • Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. —Langston Hughes
                • All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”- Walt Disney
                • “Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis
                • Be willing to do the small things that often lead to big results. Be exploratory, be unafraid of making a mistake–or you’ll never get beyond yourself.
                • Feeling afraid? Read Psalm 27
                • “At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.” – Christopher Reeve
                • “Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time away from your own.” – Yogi Ramen
                • “Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” – Unknown
                • “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
                • “When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson
                • “The most important thing about goals is having one.” – Geoffry F. Abert
                • “The only reason we don’t have what we want in life is the reasons we create why we can’t have them.” – Tony Robbins
                • “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland
                • “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn
                • “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.” – Stephen Covey
                • “You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal.” – Zig Ziglar
                • The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” – Benjamin Mays
                • “People with clear, written goals accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them can ever imagine.” – Unknown
                • “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” – Napoleon Hill
                •  “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
                • “20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did.   Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
                • If you are stricken by illness or misfortune set goals.  If you know of a trade, offer your services to those in need. To get better you often have to go out of your way.
                • Pray in detail about what you want- example a nice house large enough for us without being too big 3-4 bed/3 bath/3 car garage,  large kitchen to fix meals together, hardwoods, heatpump, a separate living room and family room so we could hang out. A yard large enough to have some privacy, but not too big to take care of, single story (no stairs!) , NO POOL! , no HOA, but the area kept nicely, with quiet neighbors who are friendly, good schools, low taxes and insurance. But asking for a very particular area….. God may want you in another area, that He knows is better for you, so be careful about that.
                • Video  Quantum Leaps (Identify your gifts, Dream, Take Action)

                CHALLENGE YOURSELF   (Success) Obstacles Problems Success and Mistakes Also see Goals and Just do it and fear

                • Our greatest lessons come from our most challenging seasons.
                • Every time you do something that challenges you, your brain expands and never goes back.
                • In the past you may have seen a problem as a crisis, yet each problem creates an opportunity.  Problems are challenges; challenges  represent an opportunity to think, act and react a new way. Identifying and providing a solution to a challenge can create  an  opportunity for a potential profit as others  experiencing a problem  will pay well to have their problem solved or avoided. Obviously, the more acute and immediate the problem the more profitable the opportunity becomes. Ex: You will get a different response when offering snow tires to someone on a hot summer day verses when they are have slid off the road and are stuck in a ditch. (Find a need and fill it.)
                • When you find something troubling you, write it down and below it write the solution for it. Work on the solution as opposed to staying focused on the problem
                • Instead of demanding your way, ask questions that lead to the most creative solution. What is your intention? What is the message you want to get across? Setting up a safe forum almost always inspires a great discovery process for great ideas.                      anxiety
                • Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions. —Tony Robbins
                • When I’m looking in the mirror, I’m looking at the problem and I’m also looking at the solution, and the buck stops with me. – Jamie Lee Curtis
                • Video: Pink Bat. For every problem there is a solution.
                • Don’t say you have a problem….say you have a situation or an opportunity.
                • For every ‘problem’ there is a solution.
                • Develop and maintain a positive attitude to help you manage your energy levels, keep your soul alive, take new paths, reduce stress, attack your fears and hang on when storms blows. Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.     There is a solution to every problem and God has it.
                • God holds the MASTER key (the solution) to all problems if we put it in God’s hands and leave it alone. See James 1:6
                • There are always those who assure us that we can’t do something, but if we ignore the advice and keep right on working and our conscious mind tells us we can do it, we can. Stop looking for reasons to fail.
                • Anyone can overcome life’s biggest challenges by using faith coupled with determination.
                • Faith that does not translate into actions is no faith at all.
                • Things that are too big for any human being to handle on his own–we have to trust in the Father whose abiding love for us all–whether we’ve strayed from His path or stayed–is spelled out pretty clearly in red in the story of the prodigal son. -Dennis Quaid
                • Life without challenge and passion is far more destructive than physical danger.
                • Two men looked out from prison bars. One saw mud. The other saw stars.
                • An optimist looks for the opportunity in every difficulty while a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity and will give excuses why he can’t do something. (In a study by the Women’s Health initiative study of 100,000 women those rated optimistic by special questionnaires were 14% less likely than pessimists to died during the study’s first eight years. Optimist are master copers. They have strong social networks and handle stress better, which could make a difference.
                • Ability is of little account without opportunity. –Napoleon
                • If it weren’t for optimists, pessimists would never know how unhappy they are.  -Anon
                • Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you. – Mary Lou Retton
                • Positive people don’t need an outside push; they seemingly have a natural internal push that continually pulls them forward. —Unknown
                • Optimism is positive thinking lighted up.
                • The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. —William A. Ward
                • Choose to be optimistic. It feels better.
                • In trying times, don’t quit trying.
                • Excuses don’t make things happen; nothing happens unless WE make it happen.
                • We are all manufacturers. Some make good, others make trouble and others make excuses.
                • He who excuses himself accuses himself
                • No one ever accomplished anything by playing it too safe; sitting passively and refusing  to step forward, to do something, while expecting someone else to do it.
                • In the game of life, you can’t steal second base if you keep your foot on first.
                • Those who won’t go after what they want,  will never obtain it;  stuck in the same old place, going nowhere and getting run over.
                •  You are limited only by your own self.
                • No one can push you up the ladder unless you are willing to climb yourself……  You can lead a mule to water but you can’t make him drink…..
                • Don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it….
                • It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare . (It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.) Be daring!
                •  You don’t need an invitation to your own life.  In leaving your comfort zone and trying something that is challenging  you gain confidence as you discover wonderful things about yourself.
                • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. Henry David Thoreau
                • Always be yourself. It’s better to be a real nobody than a fake somebody. You were born to be an original.
                • Accept the challenges so you may feel the exhilaration of victory. – George Patton
                • Never let the brain get idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
                • What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
                • Why we let you do things on your own: Ann Landers July 19 1999 https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1999-07-19-9907190166-story.html  A woman wrote that she is living proof that a  parent does their child no favor by giving them everything they want on a silver platter. Her parents paid for her college education, every car she owned and made the down payment on her house. She says if she had to pay for her college education, she might have worked harder for better grades. If she had to pay for  her car insurance and repairs, she might have been a more careful driver. She was taught  to believe that  Prince Charming would come along and take care of me but he hasn’t and she is  unable to live within her means,   cannot manage her finances, and her self-esteem is zero. She said that in high school, she was the envy of all her friends and now, she is the envious one . Yes, parents can do too much for their kids. Keep telling them, Ann. Maybe some of them will get the message. I’m sorry my parents didn’t.                                                                                                     Ann responded:   Dear Charlotte: Apparently, you’ve had the disadvantage of too many advantages. Too bad. But at least you recognize it and are trying to repair the damage. I hope the “silver platter” parents in my reading audience recognize themselves and stop excessive gift giving. It cripples their children and could make them forever dependent.
                • Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.
                • Don’t worry when you stumble–remember a worm is the only thing that can’t fall down. -Thoreau
                • Stumbling is a part of learning.
                • “Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” — Charles F. Kettering
                • “It is not what happens to you that matters, but what you do about it that makes the difference. – Rhett Power
                • Take one day at a time. Don’t be a compulsive worrier, anticipating problems that never happen.
                • Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
                •  Don’t ever underestimate the capacity of a human being who is determined to do something.- Edna Adan
                • Knowing something doesn’t change your life. Doing something does. – Marie Forleo
                • Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations. ~Mae Jamison
                • To run with the big dogs, you have to get off the porch.
                • What does it matter if you win the rat race? You are still a rat!
                • You can work hard but you don’t do it on your own. You aren’t the captain of the ship. God is; always has been. Ask Him to help you. Who else could guide you from that first inkling to  where you want to by? Who better to steer you through rough waters? You can have a peace born of a knowledge that your course is set, navigated from above.- unknown
                • Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration.
                • We underestimate our own brain power and overestimate the other fellows. It is not how much you have but how you use it. Interest, enthusiasm is the critical factor.
                • Wear a confident smile and have a cheerful word for those you meet. It makes your day pleasant and it probably makes those you come in contact with feel a bit better about life. It’s awfully hard to growl at somebody who has just greeted you with a smile
                • Others aren’t super intelligent, super perceptive nor super anything except super confident. Believe that you are among the best and you’ll act and perform the best. Always believe that you can surpass the best. If you believe that you are unimportant it will show through in the way you handle those big assignment and you can. Handle yourself to show you are an important professional. A person is a product of his own thoughts.
                • God says that we are all valuable, that all of us are important. And we’ve got to take care of what God thinks is valuable–even when it’s you. Especially when it’s you. – Lori Allen,
                • Six-word formula for success: Think things through—then follow through.
                • Pyramid of Success- the key building blocks of good character- enthusiasm, loyalty, friendship, initiative, poise, confidence, self control, It isn’t about winning but instead working at being the best you can be. (Working on it through prayer, reading scripture, growing in your love for God. ) – John Wooden’s Pyramid of success.
                • Never stop learning. Go back to school and read books. Get training and acquire skills.
                • Distractions are the bane of any learning attempt. If you are attending a seminar or training session, sit near the instructor and maintain eye contact so you are not distracted and can concentrate.
                • Doing the same mental work repeatedly tends to narrow your focus and limit your potential. Try new things to keep your brain challenged.Learn a new language.
                • Read aloud the material you are trying to learn and repeat aloud the facts you want to retain. This way, your eyes and your ears are delivering information to your brain.
                • After years of preparation you can become an overnight success.
                • The key to success is self-confidence, and the key to self-confidence is preparation.
                • “The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.” — Henry Ford
                • “The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.” – Bruce Feirstein
                • “The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” — Bruce Lee
                • Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.”- Robert Collier
                • “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”- Vidal Sassoon
                •  Some days, success is about luck, or talent, or skill. But most days, success is bout wrestling failure to the ground until it screams uncle. – Sally Hogshead
                •  “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” — Mark Caine
                • “To be successful, you must accept all challenges that come your way. You can’t just accept the ones you like.” — Mike Gafka
                • “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen
                • For every minute you spend regretting an opportunity that did not succeed, you lose 60 seconds of trying. e
                • “Everyone faces challenges in life. It’s a matter of how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage.” – Celestine Chua
                • Blessings come in disguise. And challenges can be a blessing.- Actress Diane Lane
                • Many times the things that we perceive as a blessing, and that are defined as success in this world are really not.
                • Some blessing are in not getting what you thought you wanted.
                • Write down all of you troubles in the sand, Carve all of your blessings and accomplishments in stone.
                • “If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you!” — T. Harv Eker
                • All change begins in the imagination, and those with the most vivid imaginations, the strongest hope, and the most active responses to that hope will be the individuals who will change the world.
                • “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
                • “The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.” – Unknown
                • Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
                • Video: The Push Sometimes we need a push, and sometimes we need to give one, but it is often the greatest gift that changes a life forever.
                • Where you go in the world depends on how you view yourself & what you do with it.
                •  This too shall pass, no matter what it is, good or bad.
                • There are 360 degrees, use them. Walk, don’t grow roots. Enlarge your angle of vision; keep shooting until you use the circle and every angle up and down.
                • “The great successful men of the world have used their imagination. They think ahead and create their mental picture in all its details, filling in here, adding a little there, altering this a bit and that a bit, but steadily building–steadily building.”-Robert Collier
                • “The best revenge is massive success.” — Frank Sinatra
                • “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” — Albert Einstein
                • “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” — David Brinkley
                • Success is … knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” –John C. Maxwell
                • You can never tell when you do an act just what the result will be; for with every deed you are sowing a seed–though its harvest you may never see.
                • “To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or redeemed social condition; to have played and  laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
                • (Condensed)”To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children… to leave the world a better place… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
                •   Every single person I know who is successful at what they do is successful because they love doing it.”- Joe Penna, Mystery Guitar Man
                •  Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life — think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.” — Swami Vivekananda
                • Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” – Swami Vivekananda
                • “Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them.” — Vaibhav Shah
                • “Success? I don’t know what that word means. I’m happy. But success, that goes back to what in somebody’s eyes success means. For me, success is inner peace. That’s a good day for me.” — Denzel Washington
                • “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell
                • “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
                • Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve.” – Wilfred Peterson
                • “Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them.” – Vaibhav Shah
                • “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
                • “If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
                • Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in, and day-out.” – Robert Collier
                • Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” – George Sheehan
                • “Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.” – Orison Swett Marden
                • Making mistakes is not a disgrace. Mistakes are ways to gracefully keep us humble.
                • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
                • An error is like a leak in the roof of your house–the amount of damage it can do depends on how quickly your correct it. –O.A. Battista
                • “Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.” – George Bernard Shaw
                • Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
                • Be willing to do the small things that often lead to big results. Be exploratory, be unafraid of making a mistake–or you’ll never get beyond yourself.
                • “Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go and given up.” – Rhett Power
                • The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli
                • The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” – Bruce Lee
                • “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” – Albert Einstein
                • “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine
                • Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” – Dalai Lama
                • What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. – Bob Dylan
                • “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton
                • “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
                • “Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.
                • “I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale
                • “The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do.” – Roy L. Smith
                • A lot of people have good ideas, but nothing in the world is cheaper than a good idea with no action.
                • “Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso
                • “Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
                • “Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” – Zig Ziglar
                • People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved.” -Anne Sullivan
                • “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier
                •  Video:The Best of Success Traits that successful people seem to share.
                • Video: The 10 Rules for Achieving Success  Achieving a success is like opening a combination lock. You need the correct numbers in the correct sequence.
                • Video: The Strangest Secret Success in our life is controlled by what we think
                • Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. – Gen. George S. Patton
                • Success comes with real world experience or here:  to see many links  to it, should that first one not open. Harvey Mackay Sept 24, 2013
                • In society we define success as money and power, which is like trying to sit on a two-legged stool. Sooner or later you will topple over. ….Look at what you love to do. Everyone is creative. Every child has that gift to express, whether through writing or thinking or just through being with people fully present. Take those gifts and apply them throughout your life and it will make a big difference. (article on Arianna Huffington)
                • Follow your passion. Whatever you’re doing, do your best at all times and make it as correct as possible. Work as if someone is watching you. Then you’ll be prepared when an opportunity presents itself. And  you’ll have the answers.  -Katherine Johnson, one of the NASA mathematicians depicted in the movie ‘Hidden Figures’.
                • The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it. – Tony Robbins.

                Hard Work

                • Success isn’t always about greatness. Its about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come. Actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
                • Success comes down to hard work plus passion, over time. If you work really, really hard over a long period of time, it will pay off.”- Stanley Tang, eMillions
                • There is no elevator to success — you have to take the stairs.
                • “I don’t believe in luck. Luck = Leaving things to chance and outside world. I believe in being harbingers of our fate, taking action and creating our own path and destiny in life. Your life is yours to create – Don’t ever let others do it for you.” – Celestine Chua
                • Believe…dream…will and put it in the hands of God.
                • “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell
                • “Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” – David Bly
                • “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” – Gary Player
                • A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. – Hugh Downs
                • “Success is 99% attitude and 1% aptitude.” – Celestine Chua
                • Attitude is not everything, but it is almost everything.
                • “It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.” – Zig Ziglar
                • I grew up working in tobacco fields for my father. I have performed all the jobs described in the article Was the work hard? No doubt about it! Was it injurious to my health?  What the tobacco field did provide me with was a burning desire for an education and an appreciation for the value of hard work   June 2015 Children of the Tobacco Fields | Reader’s Digest
                • Video: What it Takes to be #1  … honesty, hard work, and dedication in any endeavor. When you are truthful, when you are honest, you can come from nobody to somebody. Go from zero to hero.

                TRUTH AND HONESTY

                • “The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.” –  Unknown
                •  A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right, and evil doesn’t become good, just because it’s accepted by a majority.’ -Booker T. Washington
                • The people you have to lie to, own you. The things you have to lie about, own you. —Michael Ventura
                • H.I. T. Honesty~ Integrity ~ Trustworthiness
                • “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” – Unknown 
                •  Make few promises and live up to your engagements.
                • Once you tell a lie then no one believes you when you tell the truth. ~ German Proverb
                • True winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

                FAILURE /RISK/Mistakes Fear  (See Success and goals, jobs)

                • If you’ve never failed you’ve never really stretched yourself.
                • “Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.”–K T Witten
                • You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. –Johnny Cash
                • He cleaned a parking lot three nights a week, getting up at 3am. to pick up trash by hand. It took two to three hours to clean. The lessons he learned lasted a lifetime – discipline, a strong work ethic and the importance of balancing life’s competing interests (in his case, school, homework and a job).  “There is dignity in all work and if people are working to provide for themselves and their families, that is something we should honor.” -Louis Caldera, Secretary of the Army
                • “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde
                • If we are intended for great purposes, we are expected to overcome great trials.
                • I try to incorporate faith every day, to not remind myself of past failures, to learn how to forgive and to trust the future.Vanessa Williams
                • “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”-Ray Goforth
                • The past doesn’t equal the future, and the minute you think it does,  you are trapped. -you can’t change. Mike Rowe
                • “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” ~Vince Lombardi
                • “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” -Victor Kiam
                • “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: Try to please everybody.” – Herbert B. Swope
                • “Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.” – Malcolm S. Forbes
                • You will always make mistakes and you will have setbacks.  Find the silver lining in them by learning all you can from them. Look at every setback as a chance to grow.
                • Place your failure before the Father.Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you quit.” – Rhett Power
                • Don’t worry about failure; you only have to be right once.” — Drew Houston
                • “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky
                • Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
                • Success is going from failure to failure without losing your  enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
                • Courage is born at the point where God’s grace and human effort intersect. – Father Timothy M. Gallagher.
                • Find God in a situation or become bitter. Choose God and experience freedom like you never knew before.
                • God may lead us into the wilderness…but he will never leave us there. Tracie Miles Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker.
                • I try to incorporate faith every day, to not remind myself of past failures, to learn how to forgive and to trust the future. – Vanessa Williams
                • No failure is final, so just start organizing or whatever is the simplest step.
                • The hardest part about being an entrepreneur is that you’ll fail ten times for every success.”- Adam Horwitz, Mobile Monopoly
                • “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas A. Edison
                • I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody. Herbert Swope
                • Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” — Coco Chanel
                • Success comes in cans; failure in can’ts.” – Unknown
                • Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas A. Edison
                • I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody. -Herbert Swope
                • Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail. —Bruce Lee
                • Nobody is a finished project. Never give up.
                • Anxiety is just repeatedly experiencing failure in advance. —Seth Godin   (Journaling can help reduce anxiety. Deep breaths can instantly soothe frayed nerves.)
                • Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson
                • You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures.” -Charles C. Noble
                • One can tell how big a man is by how small a think it takes to frustrate him.
                • The Pearl Principle – no inner irritation, no pearl. —Lama Surya Das
                •  Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” — Oprah Winfrey
                • Winners say they have temporary setback, not failures. Choose to call what others may call a ‘failure”  a ‘temporary setback’.
                • Failure is impossible- Susan B. Anthony
                • Some dreams will fail, but what are the consequences of not following your dream? What if the genius neurosurgeon had given up because he didn’t want to take a chance?
                • Video:  Failures & tears kept me going  When I reach the place of my dreams, I will thank my failures and tears. They too, kept me going.
                • The only real handicaps are those we create for ourselves.
                • “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”- Dolly Parton
                •  “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett
                • “People who succeed have momentum. The more they succeed, the more they want to succeed, and the more they find a way to succeed. Similarly, when someone is failing, the tendency is to get on a downward spiral that can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” – Tony Robbins
                • The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”- Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook
                • Champions are willing to do something they hate in order to create something they love.
                • There’s no possibility of success without risk.
                • “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn
                • Winners are determined to win so they set goals that can be measured, keeps statistics,  make commitments and  plans  daily   and doesn’t quit. They see opportunities, not problems, willingly taking risks to meet a challenge and  keep working to find a way to do something. If it means they have to go through something to get to the other side, they will, instead of going way around it  ……a loser makes promises but won’t take a risk and hates setting goals or making plans….doesn’t know what goals are.  A loser doesn’t want statistics.
                • People will follow a winner. That is why you can’t talk negative. Always be positive, even if it looks impossible.
                • Most people overestimate what they accomplish in one year, but underestimate what they can accomplish in 10 years.- Sue Desmond-Hellman, 62, head of the Bill  & Melinda Gates Foundation.
                • Don’t try to run a business without a business plan or strategic planning. Winning it won’t work. Every five years set new goals. You can get almost nothing done in a year, but you can achieve almost anything in a five-year period.
                • Go for the amazing. Each morning pray for the safety of the employees. When it looks like business is slowing down, pray for enough work to avoid layoffs. (And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Psalm 1:3)
                • Commitment turns weights into wings.
                • There’s no possibility of success without risk.
                • Risk taking is the fundamental foundation of economic progress. Societies that allow or encourage it flourish; those that don’t  encourage it  don’t flourish.
                • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas Edison
                • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” -Theodore Roosevelt    “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” -Charles Kettering
                • “You may only succeed if you desire succeeding; you may only fail if you do not mind failing.” — Philippos
                • “The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
                • Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.” – Les Brown
                • Realistic goal: Beyond your grasp–but within your reach.
                • Goals determine your thought –thoughts determine your life.
                • You are the fruit of the thought you have planted and nourished. If you want a better harvest, plant better thoughts. Every thought has a consequence. the more intense the thought, the more powerful, the outcome. -unknown
                • “Make no small plans for they have no power to stir the soul.” – Niccolo Machiavelli
                • “No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Unknown
                • “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown
                • “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
                • “You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.” – Pursuit of Happyness (Movie)
                • “History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.” – John Eliot
                • “You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream.” – John Eliot

                SUCCESS Success

                God blessed each of us with  individual talents at birth in order for us to find our unique calling in life.   We must never claim, even in jest, that He didn’t give us any talents. Every single one of us has been given specific talents and in using them we glorify Him. The ultimate reward is a richer life in doing what we love! (Read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30)  Note: While these Talents are God-given and not a learned behavior, they can be strengthened by studying.

                • If you are constantly chasing success, you are not really living in the moment. Go places. Do things. The journey is what’s fun. It is the reward. We lose the joy of living in the present when we worry about the future.  Don’t define yourself as a person through success or money.
                • Success does not come from doing the hard stuff, it comes from doing the simple stuff really well.
                • As you ascend up the ladder don’t let power corrupt you.
                • Whatever you believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic power and grace to it. – KW Von Goethe (1749-1832)
                • Five key qualities to success in business and life: change, organization, motivation, balance and optimization.
                • There are no 9-5 possibilities for true success in business or the professions. Dedication is the key.
                •  What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Henry Stanley Haskins, author
                • It’s never crowded along the extra mile.
                • Life is what you make it.
                • God wants us to serve Him in everyday life, where temptations are the toughest.
                • I believe that without God I am nobody, but that with God, I can do anything. – Dolly Parton.
                • Forget the New Age talk of “Believe in yourself”. Instead Believe in God and see what happens.
                • God has greater plans for you that you can expect  if you share your life with Him and listen to Him.
                • Change is a necessary part of God’s plan. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments.
                • God, who, no matter how bleak life may seem is always there, always waiting to help us.
                • Help others get ahead. You will always stand taller with someone else on  your shoulders. – Bob Moawad
                • Forget luck.  God does not favor   someone else over you.
                • If things are not as you wish them to be and you want a change  begin by praying to God for help.
                • What you are doing right now is the most important thing in your life; it will determine what you have in the future. Examine your life and make sure that you a re doing things at each moment that move you closer to where you want to be. -Larry Winget
                • Lighten up. Don’t take things so seriously. Will it matter ten years from now? Or even ten minutes from now? – Larry Winget
                • Look for the good  in everything. Even if what you are going through seems bad at the moment, there is a lesson to be learned. Learning is positive. Growth, change, and new lessons are always good for us. -Larry Winget
                • After learning the tricks of the trade, many of us think we know the trade. -William Feather.
                • The three foundations of learning: seeing much, suffering much, and studying much. – Catherall
                • You should keep on learning as long as there is something you don’t know. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca.
                • Pray for and expect God’s  best. Don’t doubt once you pray because James 1:6-7 says  when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.   That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
                • Doubt is not fatal if we recognize it for what it is: a smudge on the lens.  When we realize that, wipe it clear and put the glasses back on. W. Lee Warren, M.D.

                Individuals who managed to succeed against the odds.    Dear Abby July 25 and 26, 1997

                DEAR READERS: In a recent column, I shared an item sent by Herman Endler, who, at age 40, suffered a stroke that left him totally disabled. He wrote:

                “I wasn’t able to get out of bed, but by the grace of God and a surgeon’s skill, I made it. At times I was so despondent, I prayed it would all end. Then a friend gave me the enclosed inspirational piece, which I must have read 1,000 times. There were moments when I thought, ‘This is it; this is the end.’ Then I’d read the message again, and it pulled me through.

                “Abby, some of the greatest men and women of our times have been saddled with disabilities and adversities but have managed to overcome them.

                “Perhaps somewhere there is someone who is at the end of his or her rope and needs encouragement. Pass this along. It may save a life.

                — “Bury him in the snows of Valley Forge, and you have a George Washington.
                — “Raise him in abject poverty, and you have an Abraham Lincoln.– “Subject him to bitter religious prejudice, and you have a Disraeli.”
                — Spit on him, humiliate him, then crucify him and he forgives you, and you have Jesus Christ.
                — Strike him down with infantile paralysis, and he becomes a Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only president of the United States to be elected to four terms.
                — When he is a lad of 3, burn him so severely in a schoolhouse fire that the doctors say he will never walk again, and you have a Glenn Cunningham, who set the world’s record in 1934 for running a mile in 4 minutes, 6.8 seconds.
                — Have him or her born black in a society filled with racial discrimination, and you have a Booker T. Washington, Harriet Tubman, Marian Anderson, George Washington Carver or Martin Luther King Jr.
                — Make him the first child to survive in a poor Italian family of 18 children, and you have an Enrico Caruso.
                — Have him born of parents who survived a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down when he is 4, and you have the incomparable concert violinist Itzhak Perlman.
                — Call a slow learner “retarded” and write him off as ineducable, and you have an Albert Einstein.
                — Have a thalidomide child born with a dwarfed, twisted body without arms, and you have a Terry Wiles, who, with the aid of mechanical devices, learned to play the electric organ, steer a motorboat and paint.
                — Amputate the cancer-ridden leg of a handsome young Canadian, and you have a Terry Fox, who vowed to run on one leg across the whole of Canada to raise a million dollars for cancer research. (Terry was forced to quit halfway when cancer invaded his lungs, but managed to raise about $20 million.)
                — Let a British fighter pilot who lost both legs in an air crash fly again with the RAF, and you have a Douglas Bader, who, with two artificial limbs, was captured by the Germans three times during World War II — and escaped three times.
                — Blind him, and you have a Ray Charles, George Shearing, Stevie Wonder, Tom Sullivan, Alec Templeton or Hal Krents.
                — Label him “too stupid to learn,” and you have a Thomas Edison.
                — Make him a “hopeless” alcoholic, and you have Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
                — Tell her she’s too old to start painting at 80, and you have a Grandma Moses.
                — Afflict him with periods of depression so severe that he cut off his own ear, and you have a Vincent Van Gogh.
                — a smiling Max Cleland, who lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam and formerly headed the Veterans Administration in Washington, D.C. He is now serving as a Democratic U.S. senator from Georgia.
                — Patricia Neal, the fine actress who suffered a severe stroke, but rehabilitated herself against overwhelming odds.
                — Blind him at age 44, and you have John Milton, who, 16 years later, wrote “Paradise Lost.”
                — Call him dull and hopeless and flunk him in the sixth grade, and you have a Winston Churchill.
                — Punish her with poverty and prejudice, and she may survive to become another Golda Meir.
                — Pit her against sexual discrimination, and you have a Madame Curie.
                — Tell a young boy who loved to sketch and draw that he has no talent, and you have a Walt Disney.
                — Take a crippled child whose only home he ever knew was an orphanage, and you have a James E. West, who became the first chief executive of the Boy Scouts of America.
                — Rate him as “mediocre” in chemistry, and you have a Louis Pasteur.
                — Deny a child the ability to see, hear and speak, and you have a Helen Keller.
                — Make him a second fiddle in an obscure South American orchestra, and you have a Toscanini.
                –Take a former slave trader, who grew up without any particular religious conviction, but in a violent storm in 1748 which battered his vessel so severely that he called out to God for mercy. He began studying Christian theology and later became an abolitionist in the United Kingdom.
                Ordained in the Church of England “Amazing Grace” was written to illustrate a sermon on New Year’s Day of 1773 with the message that forgiveness and redemption are possible regardless of sins committed and that the soul can be delivered from despair through the mercy of God.

            –Take a young man, raised in Detroit, who performed poorly in school until his mother, a single parent challenged him and his brother with reading and writing assignments in addition to their regular schoolwork. You get Ben Carson the neurosurgeon who performed the first successful separation of conjoine twins who were attached at the back of the head (occipital craniopagus twins)
            –Former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has dyslexia.

            Not all disabilities are visible. And not all who have won against the odds are well-known celebrities.

            Every family has its own heroes and heroines for whom there is no medal distinguished enough to reward them for their accomplishments.

            Perseverance is the key to escape and satisfaction.- Walter Annenberg” distinguished publisher, philanthropist and former U.S. ambassador to Great Britain

            Procrastination /GO AHEAD AND LIVE Enjoy Life/ Appreciate the moment

              •  “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.” – Denis Waitley
              • Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” –Pablo Picasso
              • If you wait, all that happens is you get older- Larry McMurtry
              • Do something. Action makes things happen. Remember you don’t have to be good to start, but you have to start to be good. – Larry Winget
              • Video: Eat That Frog 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating
          • “Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” – Leo Buscaglia
          • Celebrate it all. Life is too short to be miserable, even for one instant. – Larry Winget
          • “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie
          • “We think about all of our tomorrows, but we don’t know how many they are, so let’s start making the most of our Todays!.” – Ivana Trump
          • “Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Steve Jobs.
          •  “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” — Mahatma Gandhi
          • “Life is a gift. Never forget to enjoy and bask in every moment you are in.” – Celestine Chua
          • “May you live every day of your life.” — Jonathan Swift
          •  “I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.”-Neil Armstrong
          • “Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don’t spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.” – Celestine Chua
          • The way to enjoy something even more is to remind yourself it’s temporary. It gives you an enhanced sense of appreciation that encourages you to savor the moment.
          • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
          • “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West
          •  I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” — Diane Ackerman
          • “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah Winfrey
          • “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Keys to Success:

          • Nothing you say today will teach you anything. So if you are going to learn, you must do it by listening.
          • Be willing to listen intently to other’s people’s point of view, as we learn from each person. To change the way I feel I have to change the way  I think.
          • Most people do not listen to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
          • Be a good listener, letting others do a good deal of the talking (about themselves and their interests.) Be interested in others to be interesting to them.
          • Being a good listener is more important than good looks and asking questions make a huge difference. We all feel more valued when someone takes an interest in what we have to say.
          • Befriend and listen to older people.   They make incredible mentors as they have a lot more experience and can teach us so much,  including gentleness and humility while saving us  a whole lot of stumbling.
          • God puts mentors in your path. They may not look like you, sound like you, or be what you expect.  But they always  know more than you. – Maria Shriver
          • Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t. Take advantage of allowing others to mentor you by LISTENING closely as much as you can.
          • The two words silent and listen contain the same letters arranged differently. In whatever relationship you may  be in, the best way to listen is to remain silent. – Robert Herjavec.

 Leadership- See inspire

          • Leadership is not being in charge, it is about taking care of people in your charge. – Simon Sinek
          • Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— Matthew 20:26-27
          • In any group of people, a small fraction will be leaders, a larger fraction will be followers, and a substantial proportion just won’t wan to get involved.
          • If you are not the leader of the pack, the view never changes. –Anonymous
          • If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there. – Will Rogers,
          • If serving is below you, leadership is beyond you.
          • Be willing to say to those in your charge, “I don’t know.” —Unknown
          •  There are three ways to lead: 1. By example 2. By example 3. By example. —Unknown
          •  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others. —Marianne Williamson
          • Nehemiah has 13 chapters all filled with lessons on leadership. When Nehemiah was appointed Governor of Jerusalem, he didn’t take advantage of people like his predecessors  had. He treated everyone fairly from the nobles to the poor, and stayed focused on his mission, two hallmarks of a good leader See Neh 5:15-16
          •  Many people have gone a lot farther than they thought they could because someone else thought they could. —Zig Ziglar
          • Video: Wisdom of Wolves lessons in leadership and teamwork, learned from the powerful wolf pack.
          • Leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others, -John C. Maxwell
          • God keeps his promises to us and provides for our every need and a good leader remembers who the true leader is. Nehemiah 9
          • God is truest to you when you are truest to Him.
          • Good mentors create good leaders.
          • The overwhelming majority of people have leadership potential. They know it when they feel energized, enlightened, excited, enthusiastic. They love going to work, or love an initiative that they are undertaking in the community or their church. They love their parenting role as they can see their purpose to develop the character of their children. Little things don’t beat them up.   To illustrate light up a  match and look at the potential contained in that little match. It could burn down the whole building or if you put two matches closer together, the closer they get, the warmth gradually ignites the other one. Then you light a candle, and it burns the whole day. – Stephen Covey
          • Good leaders are people who set a good example. They lead by doing, not just telling.
          • Leadership means getting people to think believe, see and do what they might now have without you. It means possessing the vision to see the  right goal. It means to be aware of the fears and anxieties felt by those who lead even as you urge them to overcome their fears, –Bill Bradley, former senator and basketball star
          • The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born–that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.” -Warren G. Bennis
          • As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” — Bill Gates
          • “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” — John Quincy Adams
          • Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs. Bring out the best in others. – Stephen Covey
          • Video: The Richest Man in Town amazing man who inspired countless people through his basic life lessons.
          • Video Rock Solid Leadership  Leaders are not born, they are made. Ordinary people with extraordinary determinations go on to become great leaders.
          • Leaders are readers. Be enriched by good reading.
          • The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read.  –Mark Twain.
          • Video: Great Quotes, Great Leaders
          • Video: You Can’t Send a Duck to Leadership School
          • Video: The Essence of Leadership “a-ha!” moments that go straight to the heart.
          • Video: 212º Inspirational Leadership  take your leadership skills from effective to extraordinary!
          •  Video: 212º Service
          •  The challenge of any leader is to not let the losers, the disappointments, the pressure, the competition and the rejection change you and make you negative and bitter. – Art Williams.
          • A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
          • “Improvise, Adapt, Overcome,” which is the unofficial slogan among Marines.
          • Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains–accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it (Adapt and overcome.)

KEEP GOING, EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS TOUGH  see perseverance

          • What you fail to master in your life will eventually master you.
          • Unless you try something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
          • Video Mediocrity: Are you Middle Class or World Class?
          • How you finish depends on how you start.
          • You are the sum of the obstacles you overcome.
          • In golf as in life, the follow through makes the difference.  Video: Golf Quotes
          • Video Unchain the Elephant (How we have been conditioned.)
          • Sometimes life knocks you on your ass…get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them. Steve Maraboli
          • Try to have good days and bad moments. Life is too short to have bad days.
          • Past performance is not an indication of future returns.
          • Never be content to just be average. Always give your best.
          • Bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln
          • Present choices determine future consequences.
          • Stand out-do the right thing. When you follow others like a sheep, you don’t stand out. People see those who do and remember and that can make you special.
          •  Just because it is common sense doesn’t mean it is common practice.
          • ‘Raise the bar’ for self and others. -Johnny Weismueller
          • Video: Learning to Dance in the Rain “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning how to dance in the rain!”

WINNERS

          • A winner always looks a better way to do something, instead just going along with something just ‘because that is the way it’s always been done here’.
          • A winner works harder than a loser, and has more time: a loser is always “too busy” to do what is necessary.
          • A winner isn’t nearly as afraid of losing as a loser is secretly afraid of winning.
          • “Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are.” -Unknown
          • A winner knows what to fight for and what to compromise; a loser compromises on what he shouldn’t and fights for what isn’t worthwhile.
          • A winner repeats behavior that works and avoids behavior that doesn’t work;  a loser repeats behavior because he is comfortable with it.
          • A winner is extremely loyal; a loser doesn’t know the meaning of loyalty,
          • Bravery isn’t about the absence of fear and hurt but the ability to look directly at them and push right past.
          • If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.
          • You are always a winner if you made the effort.
          • A winner  asks questions and listens to the answers to learn  all he can from every one he meets in order to better  himself,  aware that  everyone knows something he doesn’t while a loser never listens because he is too busy bragging about what he’s going to do, tears down others and believes  he isn’t as  bad as a lot of other people.
          • Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.l  -Sir Winston Churchill
          • The man who rows the boat generally doesn’t have time to rock it.
          • I didn’t lose the gold, I won the silver – Michelle Kwan
          • It is not about winning. It is about not giving up. If you have a dream fight for it. – Lady Gaga
          • Giving up is not failing — it’s the chance to begin again. —Unknown
          • “Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

LIVING IN THE PRESENT

DON’T JUST STAND THERE, DO SOMETHING / CHANGE

          • To resist change is like holding your breath. If you resist you will die. We must accept motion, must live with motion, must know ourselves to be ever moving.       I will go anywhere provided it is forward.
          • He who hesitates gets bumped from behind.
          • You can’t count your days, but you can make your days count.
          • Video Secrets of the World Class If you wish to be more than you are…  to be great at what you do, change your thinking…thus, your life!
          • Video: What is the Big Idea? Sometimes a single, powerful idea can change your life.
          • Be the change you want to see in the world.- Ghandi
          • Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have to change other.
          • Video: Change is Good. You go First. Scared of change? Deciding to make changes is easy, getting everyone on board is a different story.
          • Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.
          • One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have.   – Liz Josefsberg
          • A 4.0 in school does not necessarily make one fit to excel. And a 2.0 gpa doesn’t mean you will wind up living at  the bottom of life. Its about whether you move forward or backward. You can make a change in this world.  Don’t be afraid. -Bill Cosby
          • “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
          • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

God, Prayer, Jesus

          • THE KEY OF LIFE:  Take hold of my instructions; Don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.  Proverbs 4:13
          • The key to reaching God is praying in Jesus name
          • God has given us the key to open the miraculous.
          • The key to grace is belief.
          • We stumble over and over. We try harder and harder and we still stumble. We don’t have to try to impress God. He already loves us.
          • God loves you the way you are, but he knows you can do better. Rev William Sloan Coffin, Jr.
          • (*Habakkuk 2:2-3 The Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. ) When you have an idea lay it out in writing. Don’t try to sell others on a plan just by the melodiousness of your voice or your personality.
          • Write down your ideas. Jotting notes charges your brain more than just thinking. Record  even the craziest ideas, intersperse them on paper with the facts of a problem and look for pattern.   Einstein carried pencil and paper wherever he went. Use the notes on your iPhone.
          • The praying person and the serpent. Sever the snakes head. Salvation wins.
          • Even when we blame God or turn our backs on Him, God never turns away from us.
          • Prayers are tools NOT for doing or getting, but for being and becoming.
          • Video A Time for Prayer
          • Ask God for help and he will meet you in your greatest weaknesses. He will transform that weakness into strength, self-deception into rigorous honesty. He will make you the person he always meant you to be.
          • There is a light that shines even in the dark.
          • Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.  -Martin Luther King.
          • When you pray for your kids, visualize the dreams you have for them and trust them to God.
          • When someone can’t pray, tell them that you will pray for them until they can.
          • Mankind wasn’t created to build Superdomes and highways and get a lot of money. Your purpose is to represent God. – “Murph the Surf’ (Jack Roland Murphy),   –a surfer in the 1960s who became an international celebrity / legendary jewel thief by stealing the world’s largest sapphire (a 563 carat gem about the size of a racquetball) and other gems from New York’s American Museum of Natural History.  He has been a concert violinist, national surfing champion, high-tower circus diver, business owner, cat burglar, painter, author (Jewels for the Journey) , convicted murder and the subject of a 1974 feature film, “Murph the Surf”, starring Robert Conrad.  He once sparked one of the biggest riots at Florida State Prison.  A psychologist who examined him after an arrest in 1968 said, “In fact, he is top-notch at everything he does.” He is lumped in with legendary gangsters and criminals, such as Jesse James, Al Capon and Thomas Blood.  Roger Staubach and a troupe of NFL stars spoke to the inmates at the Florida penitentiary where Murphy was serving two life sentences. The athletes spoke about the important role God played in a areal man’s life and for the first time Murphy considered the possibilities of faith.  In time he became a model prisoner and jailhouse artist, painting seascapes and lighthouses counseling troubled youths, working for the prison’s chaplain. After 19 years in prison, he was release in 2000, because of his exemplary behavior and ministry, the Florida Parole Board voted unanimously to terminate his lifetime parole. He became director of a prison ministry, visiting prisons worldwide, crusading for convicts’ souls, clearly focused on his occupation: messenger of God. “If you’re not doing God’s business, you are just doing time.”  “Education and employment aren’t enough to rehabilitate a criminal. If you don’t deal with a person’s heart, with their soul…all you’re doing is passing out Band-Aids.” (May 26, 1937 – September 12, 2020),

PRAYERS FOR HEALING

          • The value of prayer for healing. There is an interplay between the type of healing in hospitals and the type of healing that takes place in the private recesses of our minds. I have come to deeply appreciate the role of prayer in the healing process. Often patients or their loved ones have prayed with me before surgery. I see it as an expression of confidence that their loved one will be healed. It makes me feel more inspired. – Sanjay Gupta an American neurosurgeon, medical reporter, and writer.
          • I think the wave of the future will not to rely specifically on prayer or specifically on medicine or surgery. We need to get beyond this ‘either/or’ way of looking at things and say they both work-they are compatible. – Dr. Larry Dossey, on the role of prayer in the healing process.

GIVING GOD GLORY

  • STRESS

    • Stress can worsen pain.    It causes headaches and backaches and makes you more susceptible to colds and flu.
    • Two timeouts a day to daydream to tame chronic strss in two weeks. Sit in a quiet room and take deep relaxing breaths while imaginig a calm peaceful scene.
    • Play soft music whie doing chores
    • Take a big task and divide it into ‘bites’ and approach one at a time. Write down the steps and follow them.
    • Always have two plans.
    • Don’t avoid problem. Face it directly by using your faith to deal with it.
    • Vanilla is calming- for a better and more relaxed mood instantly-even reducing chronic anxiety, heart palpitations and panic attacks. It reduces nervousness for patients undergong medical procedures by 63%. It reduces cravings since it calms people so they are less likely to binge. Out vanilla extract on cotton balls.t

    GOOD READS- The all time best lessons for living

    • How to Win Friends and Influence People    Dale Carnegie
    • The Importance of Living   Kin Yutang
    • Peace of Mind  Joshua Lot Liebman
    • Love or Perish Smiley Blanton
    • The Science of Being and Art of Living Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
    • I’m Ok- You’re Ok Tom Harris
    • Gestalt Therapy Verbatim Frederick “Fritz” Perls
    • How to Be Your Own Best Friend Bernard Berkowitz aned Mildred Newman
    • Winning through Intimidation Robert Ringer
    • Your Erroneous Zones Wayne Dyer

    DEATH/  Loss

    • I wouldn’t get over the losses in my life. I would learn to get through them-  Mary Beth Chapman, wife of Steven Curtis Chapman, after the loss of her five year old daughter in a  tragic accident.
    • You will never get over a death.  It will always be a part of your life,  but you will get through it.
    • This brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. Luke 15:32
    • If you knew that this would be your last day on earth, you might feel a sense of urgency about things and people that are not a part of your daily routine. This is one of those ongoing dilemmas that you will never get entirely right, but if requires each of us to constantly monitor and balance today an tomorrow.
    • Write down the warm positive memories you have of your loved one. The more you  write the more you are able to see how blessed you have been with so many good years.
    • Here, we are in our cocoon.  We metamorphosis into something beautiful when we leave our earthly existence.  What the butterfly can teach us
    • I am not going to die. I am going home.

    DYING-

    • In the final stages what one needs from you now is just your presence and your love.  Be strong and help them accept what is happening.
    • Forget about your illness for a day and go have some fun. Don’t do too much but enjoy yourself.   (Remember we are each dying to this life.) Only God knows how long we will live, be we decide how we will live. Hope is stronger than any pharmaceutical.
    • After a loved one passes spend some time with their best friend; they will have a million stories.
    • Just be there for others

    See Hope, Encourage and Inspire others

    MARRIAGE

    • Marriage is a long haul, kind of like a marathon-Run with endurance. See Hebrews 12:1
    • Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery. – Life’s Little Instruction Book
    • It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Proverbs 25:24
    • Marriage isn’t a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call “the wise bamboo”, which means you bend so you don’t break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients: we smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas.  Never forget that your spouse is your most important client. -Joan Rivers

    WEIGHT

            • So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.1 Corinth 10:31 (good for fridge magnet)
            • Lord, give me the strength to get healthy, so I can live my best life for you.
            • Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Prov 3:5
            • Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Phil 2:14
            • Get someone to pray with you. Matt 18:20.  When two or three come together in my name, there I am also.
            • Freedom from dieting- fill your life with prayer instead of regrets. Don’t hang on to regrets and resentments. Don’t stuff down your feelings with food. Are you eating out of hunger or out of boredom or loneliness.  (See regrets)
            • umami can help increase the feelings of satiety and decrease food cravings. L-theanine in tea is also linked to better sleep and can deliver that umami kick.
            • High fructose corn syrup will cause an unusual amount of belly fat. The excess fructose is said to be stored as fat instead of being used for energy.
            • Abdominal fat is a risk factor for high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. You lose fat everywhere when you lose weight, but the proportion of fat you lose in your belly is higher than in the rest of your body, because there is less fat there. If you lose 10% of your total body fat you will probably lose 15% of your intra-abdominal fat and 50% of your liver fat.
            • See weight above under bullies to see what famous people were bullied for their weight

    AGING…GROWING OLDER

            • When you are young, your ego is so strong.  Then you get older and you get freed from yourself.  – Actor Peter Dinklage.
            • Optimism and effective coping skills were the most important factors  in aging successfully–not health, according to research.
            • Youth is a frame of mind. If you get out there and enjoy it, you can have it at anytime of your life. -Kenny Rogers, quoting his late grandfather.
            • Getting older may not be fun, but it’s easier to deal with when you laugh about it. Like adding a little sparkle to your outfit, humor just brings a bit of joy to any situation and takes some of the seriousness away.
            • You aren’t old until regrets take place of dreams.
            • I’ve definitely grown happier as I’ve matured, and I have even greater patience and love for others. There is a change in perception, a broadening, that comes with age, a greater appreciation for simple things. But you have to love yourself first. -Tina Turner
            • True beauty comes from within, from the positive qualities of your heart and mind. And most of all, be kind. Kindness is beautiful. Out of that will come happiness. And happiness is sexy! -Tina Turner

    BLESSINGS FOR YOUR MEAL

            • Bless the ones who grew this food and those who helped prepare it. Keep us mindful of you love and grant us strength to share it. Jennie Ivey Cookeville, TN
            • God bless not only our food and drink but what we do and what we think. As we gather here today, as we join our hands to pray, Father God, we ask your blessing on the food we share today…Kris Taranic, Phoenix
            • God is great God is good, Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands, we all are fed, Thank you Lord for our daily Brad. In Jesus Name we pray. Amen

    MORNING PRAYER

            • Lord, I give you this day. Help me to serve your purpose today and always.

    FINANCES- Money and possessions

            • Trust God to provide. Remember He fed thousands with a few loaves and fishes. God fills our lives with abundance.
            • Abundance comes from making others better off and the primary reason to get is to have more to give. It is all about giving, rarely about getting.
            • We spend so many hours working, trying to make more money only to spend  it on things that require more time and money.
            • Save your dough and you’ll have plenty of money. Elizabeth L. Walsh
            • I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess. -Martin Luther.

    DEPRESSION/ Feeling down/ Feeling Blue/ See faith

            • Research show a link between depression and diabetes.
            • When you are feeling down, do something nice for someone else.  (Everyday  I want to do something to make someone feel special. – Mila Evans 1958-2017) So I ask myself what I can do today.
            • When we let everything become drudgery, we stop learning, we quit looking with interest and we stop being aware of our own needs and feelings. Everything becomes routine and nothing new looks promising. Our lack of energy is brought about by our lack of vision. We need something to look forward to, something to get us up and going every morning. To experience such a renewal requires our attention, our talk, our thought. The potential is unlimited. We know it when we begin to care about helping other people and begin helping them develop a vision. -Joyce Hifler
            • Feeling depressed read Psalm 27

    CHRISTMAS

    GARDENING-

    Feeling frustrated? Spend time kneeling in the dirt tenderly working on plants like God can work on us, plucking out and getting rid of things that are ugly, like anger and pride, while leaving room for the best parts  to grow.

    AUTO INSURANCE

    • underinsured motor pays your medical, not the other persons. Thus, if you have medical insurance already  you may not need to carry underinsured on your auto insurance.

    WEDDING

    • We respectfully request no gifts. We have everything we need. And soon will have each other. Who could ask for anything more?/li>
    • Your presence, not presents is requested…/li>

    FIRST IMPRESSIONS

    • When meeting someone for the first time NEVER ask what they do for a living. It is a great ice breaker to ask where they are from originally. (You won’t sound like an oaf.)
    • 55% of first impressions are based on your body language and attitude. Do not get in someone’s space. Stay back 18 inches.
    PLANS NOT SEEMING TO TURN OUT RIGHT?
    •  In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.  Proverbs 16:9
    • Life is like a road. Sometimes there is a bend in the road that we can’t see beyond. But God sees. He knows the way and he will guide us.
    • For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

    Work in progress (WIP) to be moved above

    •  Kids don’t realize they would not be here if the previous generation hadn’t discovered sex. Jacki Weaver- Aussie Actress.
    • Seven deadly sins: Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy Pride    (Envy- Read Psalm 37
    • It is usually trouble that brings us closer to the Lord.
    • When depressed Psalm 27
    • Lacking Psalm 37
    • Discouraged about work Psalm 128
    • If peoole have been unkind to you John 15
    • Losing Conficence in p[eope 1 Corinth 13
    • If you can’t have your own way James 3
    • ]Out of sorts Heb 12
    • For a traveling companion Psalm 121
    • Hopeless- Psalm 23 and 27- ebven in the grimmest circumstances
    • COMING UP WITH A BUSINESS IDEA The whole word is out there, praying for a great idea, and they trip over one about three times a week. The only think you have to do to have a good idea is wait for something bad to happen and then say, ‘How could I have avoided that?’ And to have a great business, you have to help other people avoid that. – Jim Stovall
    • Temptation always promises more than it produces.
    • There is always someone who has it worse.
    • Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. – M. Scott Peck M.D. The Road Less Traveled.
    • The way a person presents him or her self is a conscious statement. So if you choose to wear a purple or orange Mohawk, a safety pin through your ear and a ring in your nose it’s your privilege.
    • Treasure the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.
    • When being introduced tor speaking one-to-one, look that person in the eye.
    • Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (Observe the past in order to avoid making the same mistakes.)
    • It is only in the giving of oneself to others that we truly live- Ethel Percy Andrus
    • Giving to others- evey man shall give as he is able. Deuteronomy 16:17
    • It is doing the things you don’t want to do that make you a good person.
    • You are the captain of your ship.
    • You are where you are today and every day of your life because you have directed yourself to that point.
    • If you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
    • If you have learned something from it, then it’s not a mistake. It’s a lesson.
    • A person may make mistakes, but isn’t a failure until he (or she) starts blaming someone else. We must believe in ourselves, and somewhere along the road of life, we must meet someone who sees greatness in us, expects it from us, and lets us know it. It is the golden key to success.
    • You will never stub your toe by standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere–Charles F. Kettering
    • If you don’t have time to do your work well, when will you hate time to do it over?
    • People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
    • Pretty is as pretty does. If you act pretty people will think you are.
    • Optimistic Look for the silver lining in every cloud.
    • Be sure to imagine right, for we tend to become as we see ourselves. – Norman Vincent Peale.
    • Not everything that counts can be counted. -sign hanging in Albert Einstein’s office.
            • Victory has 100 fathers. Defeat is an orphan.
            • Change in activity is a form of rest (When you need a break, try doing something different. Variety is the spice of life.
            • Take a road trip (Historic Route 66 is interesting)
            • Maya Angelou Quotes. I have great respect for the past. If you don‘t know where you’ve come from, you don‘t know where you’re going.
            • The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price.
            • Diversity is the key.
            • We only have one chance in this life.
            • Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That is where you will find a lot of fruit
            • What sort of legacy do you want to leave behind? Serving the Lord?
            • Amy Tan said she didn’t date because she was ugly so she grew up thinking she could never rely on her looks as a way to get ahead in this world.
            • How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. –Annie Dillard.
            • Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
            • Sometimes having more guts than brains works.
            • Praise others, with true praise, not flattery. It makes others feel significant.
            • Hubris is terminal (Hubris is pride or self confidence)
            • One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it. ~ Sidney Howard
            • I find the greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendall Holmes
            • Nobody can do everything but everyone can do something.
            • Nobody forgets where you have buried the hatchet.
            • Remember who you are.
            • Always be yourself and embrace the things that make you special.
            •  Sometimes you need to remake the situation. Don’t take yourself seriously, even when others are. Be true to yourself.
            • All of us intend to do better tomorrow and we would, too, if we started.
            •  Somebody has to do something and its just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
            • We can’t all be heroes, because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. ~ Will Rogers
            • Never discuss your problem with someone who cannot solve it. Silence cannot be misquoted.
            • Life is like coffee. Great video.
            • Video There is no I in team. There are many
            • Video The Perfect Moment
            • Video The Power of Positive Doing
            • Video Oh, Thank Goodness. It’s Not Just Me You may think you’re the only one…but guess what? You’re not! Connect the heart and soul of what it means to be a woman!
            • Video: Good to the Core   Can you identify your core values?
            • Video: Dreams are Whispers From the Soul  Within each of us us lies a powerful dream.
            • Video: Great Quotes, Great Women
            • Video: May You Be Blessed Live more abundantly than the day before
            • Video: 100/0 Principle  making relationships all they can be
            • Video: Oil for your Lamp The world needs your passion and flame—but you can’t fulfill your destiny if your oil is running on empty.
            • Video: Pulling Together
            • Video: Customer Love 10 Phrases to Make Your Customers Feel  Loved
            • Video: If Life is a Game, These Are The Rules
            • Video: One Choice
            • Video: First Thing Every Morning  make the best use of those 86,400 seconds each day
            • Video: The Power of Discipline   Discipline alone can be the difference between winning and losing, between greatness and mediocrity.
            • Avoid looking forward or backward; look upward.
            • Whiners are a bore.
            • Appreciate nature. Contemplation of nature can cure the “ambitions of the flesh” and “disease of the soul.”
            • You can’t hoot with the owls all night and fly with the eagles in the daytime.
            • I’m the most blessed person in the world
            • Be your own best friend. That way you will always have someone there with you. When we accept ourselves we are freed of the burden of needing to be accepted by others.
            • It is a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars. -Garrison Keillor
            • Washing Dishes for Jeff
            • The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes. –Marcel Proust
            • Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple. -Woody Guthrie.
            • Class doesn’t run scared.
            • You have a soul just as you have a body and a social self. Do not starve it.
            • If you can affect someone when they’re young, you are in their hearts forever. –Mara Wilson, Actor
            • Linger in bed alone for awhile each day before arising, devoting yourself to  contemplation and mental housecleaning.
            • Do things beautifully.
            • ~~~~~
            • Mental health, like physical health, is a dynamic, ever-changing condition. Some days you are bound to be in better shape than others. The mentally healthy person does not experience wide personality swings — on the moon one day and in the dumps the next. He has the qualities of sameness and predictability. Mentally healthy people think well of themselves. They do not waste time and energy worrying if every hair is in place, or if they made a favorable impression on Miss or Mr. X, or if they used the right fork or wore the right dress. On occasion when every hair is not in place, or they may have used the wrong fork or wore the wrong dress, they don’t agonize over it They have a good sense of priorities and a sense of what is really important. Mentally healthy people are able to accept the inadequacies and shortcomings of others. They do not feel the need to overhaul everyone who does not fit into the mold they have decided is “correct”. They are satisfied to live and let live. Mentally healthy people are able to accept whatever life visits upon them without going to pieces. This means financial reverses, illness, death, divorce, separation, unrequited love– the list is endless. And they have the ability to withstand the cruelties and inequities of life, to regroup, re-energize, think their way through a problem and go forward in a positive, constructive way.- Ann Landers January 18, 1981  https://annlanders.com/section.php?cat=mental-health
            • The sun will always shine after the storm.  You just have to look for it. God knew when he created us that we would have the storms of life to deal with. Isaiah said it best:” For thou has been a strength to the poor, a strength  to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm. – Jim Cantore
            • The way we accept our fate, and all the suffering it may entail, gives us an opportunity to add a deeper meaning to our lives. Don’t sweat the small things.
            • There is no moment, ever, that does not either hold an opportunity or a lesson that God is offering. – Lee Jampolksy
            • For every minute you spend regretting an opportunity that did not succeed, you lose 60 seconds of trying again.
            • Your greatness is limited only by the investment you make in yourself.
            • People always ask me, “You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?” One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was beautiful. –Gabourey Sidibe, actor
            •  Every one of us possess the beauty of compassion we are born with our arms reaching out to embrace.

    GOD God

            • God’s bounty knows no limits if we give instead of hold; it circles round and round again and returns to us tenfold.
            • Communicating our questions, hopes, and fears in prayer makes them– even to ourselves–more open and clear; and the  stronger the ties that bind us to God, the more likely we are to live, react, and behave in harmony with exalted standards–and with greater joy, peace, and happiness. Jimmy Carter
            • For every step you take toward God, God takes two steps toward you; and if you come to God walking, God comes to you running. – James Martin, business manager turned Jesuit Priest
            • There is plenty of time if you don’t hurry.
            • Take care of minutes: for hours will take care  of themselves. – Lord Chesterfield
            • No one is ever so lost that he ceases to by missed by the One who loves him most. –Gary Stanley, in What My Dog Has Taught Me About Life.
            • God will pursue us to the ends of the earth and beyond, not to condemn but to surround us with love.
            • The sun will always shine after the storm.  You just have to look for it. God knew when he created us that we would have the storms of life to deal with. Isaiah said it best:” For thou has been a strength to the poor, a strength  to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm. – Jim Cantore
            • Live simply, love generously. Learn constantly.
            • Love makes everything possible.
            • Love is good will towards others.  Love is concern for others. Love wants good things to happen to others, even our enemies- Rev. Richard Taylor. Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,  and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles,  lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him. Proverbs 24:17-18
            • We love without reason and we hate without reason (If you hate a person, you hate something in him that you hate in yourself. What isn’t part of our self doesn’t disturb us. The same with not being able to forgive.
            • If you love, you get love back, and that is just a simple basic truth. If you are loved, it is because you love. It’s like a mirror. We get back what we give out.
            • Enjoy the little things in life, as someday you will realize they are the big things.
            • Dance like no one is looking, sing like no one can hear you, love like you can’t be hurt.
            • But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9  Grace has carried me here and grace will carry me through.)
            • A winning effort begins with preparation.
            • Nothing good comes easy. Anything worthwhile that you want in life will take hard work, but if you are willing to put the effort in, so many amazing things can happen.
            • “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”- James Baldwin, an American essayist, novelist and playwright.
            • And as a few strokes on the nose will make a puppy head shy, so a few rebuffs will make a boy shy all over. But whereas a puppy will cringe away or roll on its back, groveling, a little boy may cover his shyness with nonchalance, with bravado, or with secrecy. And once a boy has suffered rejection, he will find rejection even where it does not exist—or, worse, will draw it forth from people simply by expecting it.   feeling inferior
            • Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the universe loves nothing so much as to change things which are and to make new things like them. For everything that exists is in a manner the seed of that which will be.” “Thou wilt die soon and thou are not yet simple nor free from perturbations, nor without suspicion of being hurt by external things, nor kindly disposed towards all; nor dost thou yet place wisdom only in acting justly.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
            • Remember the guy who gave up? Neither does anyone else.
            • No matter how happy I had been in the past I do not long for it… The present is always the moment for which I live- Jamaica Kincaid
            • Judging others leaves no time to love them.
            • You should never let adversity get you down–except on your knees.
            • Solitude is the soul’s holiday- Katrina Kenison, author
            • No matter our age, every day we are learning by listening, teaching by our actions, and we graduate as we move from one phase of our life to another. Norma Comfort, 92, Knoxville, TN

    SAYINGS

            • I have been to the puppet show and I have seen the strings. code: I am not blind to what is going on.
            • Not my circus not my monkeys. (colloquial) Anytime you feel yourself being pulled into others problems….It is not my problem. It’s none of my business; I am not responsible for controlling or changing a situation.  code: I am not the ringmaster. I can watch the show, and decide whether you stay in that tent, If getting involved causes you to lose your peace of mind, step away.

    STARTING YOUR BUSINESS- Focus on what you can control.

            • Know who your ideal and likely customers are in order to grow your business.  If 95% of your customer base consists of well-to-do women who are engaged, why advertise on radio stations primarily targeted at men or ads designed to reach male college students?  If you focus your marketing efforts strictly to well-to-do engaged women you will spend less on advertising while increasing your bottom line.
            • If your company’s website looks cheap, customers subconsciously infer that your product is cheap. If your website and marketing materials look first class, then customers will assume that your products and services must also be first class. Your customer’s initial judgment of your company directly affects sales. It is like giving someone two pieces of fine jewelry. One is presented in K-mart packaging and the other in a Tiffany box. Which one is going to get the recipient excited?

    BEFORE YOU FEEL LIKE A FAILURE

            • Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.
            • Isaac Newton did poorly in grade school and was considered “unpromising.”
            • Beethoven’s music teacher once said of him, “As a composer, he is hopeless.”
            • When Thomas Edison was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.
            • F. W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21, but his employer would not permit him to wait on customers because he “didn’t have enough sense to close a sale.”
            • Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Boston Celtics Hall of Famer Bob Cousy suffered the same fate.
            • A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

    The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (by Stephen R. Covey)

              1. Be proactive.
              2. Begin with the end in mind.
              3. Put first things first
              4. Think win/win
              5. Seek first to understand….then to be understood
              6. Synergize
              7. Sharpen the saw

    Guarantee yourself a well balanced life and livelihood by asking each of these questions at the end of the day.

    ☐ Am I sure about what matters most?
    ☐ Did I make a difference today?
    ☐ Am I secure in who I am regardless of my performance?
    ☐ Did I schedule some “Quiet Time” today?
    ☐ What did I do to show my family that I love them?
    ☐ Did I keep ALL my commitments?
    ☐ Did I compromise my honest and integrity in any way?
    ☐ Did I read or learn anything new?
    ☐ Was I kind to someone else without expecting anything in return?
    ☐ Did I laugh today?
    ☐ Was I a model of excellence at work today?
    ☐ If today was a day off, did I rest or was I restless?
    ☐ Did I provide emotional support to my loved ones by encouraging them, listening to them  AND telling the that I love them ? What will I do differently tomorrow?

    – Jeff Conley’s Habits of the Heart 1998

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    LESSONS LEARNED FROM A LIFETIME OF READING ANN LANDERS

            • You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to do it.
            • People won’t stay mad at you long if you can say, “I was wrong, and I am truly sorry. I hope you will forgive me.”
            • When something is troubling you, tell someone you trust instead of trying to cover it up. You will be surprised to learn that the other person has been through something similar.
            • Don’t pass up an opportunity to tell people you care about them. You may never get another chance.
            • Reserve judgment until you know all the facts. Even then, keep your mouth shut if no useful purpose is served by adding your two cents’ worth.
            • Be grateful for your good health and the health of those you love. Be aware that without good health, money and success mean little.
            • If you enjoy your work and your life, you are rich. If you aren’t happy with either, how can money help?
            • If you are having a rotten day, don’t take it out on those around you. Simply say to yourself, “Today is a rotten day. Tomorrow will be better.” That attitude will improve your disposition as well as your digestive system.
            • Spend time with your children. It’s the best investment you will ever make.
            • Don’t be afraid to try something you think you can’t do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
  • COMPLAINING TO A COMPANY
            • Have a clear idea of what you want. You may not want a replacement, especially if the product didn’t work the way it was supposed to int he first place. Say you expect a refund.

    BEING PERFECT

            • There’s no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Look for the best overall package of kindness, consideration, ambition and intelligence. Otherwise, you will spend your life alone.
            • No one is perfect or can make themselves so. It is fine to be the best we can but perfectionism is like trying to steal from God.
            • The Paradoxical Commandments  People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway. © Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001 (Mother Teresa thought the Paradoxical Commandments were important enough to put up on the wall of her children’s home in Calcutta.)

    To Remember Me . . .’‘ by Robert N. Test (Re-printed Ann Landers column Nov 17 1990)

    The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and, for all practical purposes, my life has stopped.
    When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don`t call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
    Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby`s face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to a teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist. Take my bones, every nerve and muscle in my body, and find a way to make a crippled child walk.
    Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.
    Burn what is left and scatter my ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.
    If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow man.
    Give my sins to the devil; give my soul to God.
    If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

    What do you want to pass on to your kids?  (Tell us in the comments below.)

    inspiringvoices.com

 

This entry was posted in Ask the Readers, Babies, Baby Boomers, Grandparenting, Inspiration, Parenting, Success, Tulsa. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Things I Want to Teach My Child

  1. Dave says:

    Someone wrote Ask Amy about adult children who borrow from their parents and don’t repay their debts. Wanting to be fair to all their children they gave each child a cash Christmas present slightly larger than the largest debt, and subtracted each child’s debt from the gift. Everybody got something and now everyone was even.

    Amy responded that while forgiving these debts could be good for relationships in the short term, but, depending on the recipients, it might impede their financial competency.Amy added that she hoped that the parent kept the slate clean by not lending money to their children.

  2. Jewel says:

    Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up
    Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.
    Don’t let other people or things distract you
    Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
    Learn to understand and motivate people
    Be honest and dependable; take responsibility. -borrowed

  3. Davis says:

    Fraud in the Family -The people you know best are most likely to cheat or swindle you…. The perpetrator may be a child …

    The Distant Son …..

    “One of the things I’ve heard is, ‘It’s OK to steal or take this money from Mom and Dad because it’s my inheritance,’ ” says Jilenne Gunther, director of AARP’s BankSafe initiative.

    “This is the easiest crime to commit,” says Karen Sundstrom, who works for the Lexington County, South Carolina, Recreation and Aging Commission as an advocate for older adults who experience abuse. “It’s a piece of cake.” Once someone close to you gets over the moral hurdles, the logistics are easy. A relative or friend, unlike a larcenous stranger, knows or can quickly find out exactly what you own and where it is. Most important, that person has your trust. Once a fraudster has that, experts say, getting you to agree to requests is relatively simple.

    READ ALL:
    https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2018/family-fraud.html

  4. Anna C. says:

    A fake laugh- Someone who appears upbeat all the time is repressing their feelings out of deep insecurities and the fear of rejection. Afraid if they reveal their true selves others won’t like them they constantly wear a “happy face”. An individual like this can never have a true friendship because their energies are always focused on maintaining a pleasant mask.
    Always be yourself. It’s better to be a real nobody than a fake somebody. You were born an original. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody … Originality is a thing we constantly clamor for, and constantly quarrel with.

    See https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8461824/smiling-depression-mental-illness :MASK OF JOY ‘Smiling depression’ is one of the most dangerous mental illnesses, expert warns – and it affects MILLIONS One in ten people suffer depression – of those up to 40 per cent suffer ‘smiling depression’, hiding their torment from the world

  5. Donna says:

    How to ruin your kids life
    From several parents who have ‘been there, done that’ and are now deeply sorry:

    • Make sure he never develops sense of responsibility. responsibility and organization- Let the cleaning lady pick up and clean for them.
    • Rescue them when trouble arises and protect him from everything- a teacher when he doesn’t do his school work…pay his speeding tickets. Deny him nothing!
    • Hand them money to take from them any creativity to figure out how to earn it on his own.
    • Destroy their craving to learn and his self esteem by doing everything for him so he thinks he can’t do it since you apparently don’t believe he can and he won’t try, choosing to let everyone else take care of him. His wife will love you for it.
    • Steal his feeling of triumph for learning to do something. Let him rely on you so you steal his joy of of enthusiastically looking to God.
    • Cripple them by Squelching their desire to learn how to do things for themselves by doing everything for them.
    • Think for them. Make sure your thought and your beliefs are theirs.
    • Don’t teach them goal setting.
    • Smother him so he is ill equipped to do a thing for himself because the last thing you want is for him to not need you. Be sure you let the kids live at home as long as possible.
    • Instead make sure you always bail them out of debt
    • .

  6. zander says:

    http://www.flickspire.com/m/SimpleTruths/LifeIsLikeCoffee

    A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, were visiting with their college professor. Conversation soon turned to complaints about stress in work and life.

    Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive some exquisite.

    He told the guests to help themselves to the coffee. After everyone had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said,

    “If you notice all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up leaving the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal to want the best for yourself, that is the source of our problems.

    The cups adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and hides what we drink. What all of us really wanted was coffee, not the cup but consistently we reach for the best cups and then began eyeing each others cups.

    Life is like coffee. Jobs, money & position in society are the cups. They are just tools to contain life. The type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee.

    The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.”

    Live simply. Speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.”

    “Life is like Coffee. “

  7. Taylor B, says:

    WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS…from Ask Amy
    Grandparents, ideally, are involved, caring and kind. They offer a soft place for their grandchildren to nestle, removed from the pressures of other relationships. They love without harsh judgment. They create a positive presence, even when they are not nearby. They communicate and show a loving interest in the lives of their grandchildren.

  8. Davina says:

    When everything seems to be going well with us, we are apt not to care for others, and in the fulness of our enjoyments, we forget the many wants of our brethren.

  9. Davina says:

    If you really want to pay me back, the next time you see someone who needs help, please give that person the needed assistance and think of me.

  10. Robyn says:

    Basic Etiquette for Dummies

    Don’t pick at anything in public (nose, butt, scabs, teeth, zits spouse)
    Keep your elbows off the table
    Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
    Don’t smack.
    When you stand up, look around you first before you start walking away so you don’t knock someone down. And always watch were you are going do you don’t run into or over someone.
    Don’t talk loud
    Don’t attract attention
    Don’t be greedy and reach for the last thing. Make sure there is enough to go around.
    Never eat in front of someone unless you offer to share.
    When someone visits it is your job to make them comfortable.Offer them a drink of whatever you have-soda, tea, juice or water if that is ll you have.
    Always make sure your friends car starts and they move before you leave the parking lots.
    Brush your teeth when you get up. No one wants to smell your dog breath.
    If you are visiting, don’t help yourself to the fridge. If your host is etiquette challenged and doesn’t offer you a drink and you need one ask only for water.
    NEVER pop in on someone. This is not the 1940s or 1950s. Always call first. Don’t just show up on their doorstep, yell surprise when they open the door. The surprise may be that they have plans they cannot change. (Give plenty of notice if you would like to visit. Call to check schedule several days in advance.)
    Keep your bodily noises to yourself. Nobody wants to hear or smell them.
    Wipe your feet well at the door before entering another person’s home.
    Sleeves are not Kleenex
    When you visit someone, it is true that company is like fish, after three days it begins to stink!

    Remember you are not the cute ‘exception to the rule’ no matter what your mama told you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s