Things I Want to Teach My Child

GRATITUDE see attitude.

  • The key that encourages kindness is a sincere “thank you”  for acts of thoughtfulness. It gives joy to the giver, which can create a domino effect that can ignite a community. One act of kindness after another.  When you show love by encouraging others you will find the key to an unending source of happiness.   you hold the key. A  small key can open a big door.
  • Gratitude, like faith, is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it grows. Alan Cohen
  • Be humble and in touch with gratitude.
  • When you focus on the goodness in your life you create more of it.- Oprah Winfrey
  • Start each day with gratitude and it’s bound to go a bit better than if we didn’t.
  • The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.
  • You may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in our mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game- Actress Betty White, age 98.
  • Gratitude sustains the soul. How can we experience grace if we don’t feel grateful?
  • Be grateful for blessings not yet received, for blessings unknown. Gratitude is a practice that opens us up to God’s gift. -Norman Vincent Peale
  • Video: Heart of a Teacher a message of gratitude for educators.
  • We are not promised precious moments forever so be filled with gratitude for the present.
  • People don’t remember what you say, but they do recall how yo made them feel.
  • Give thanks! For anything! Your health, your family, etc.  Just saying the words “thank you” activates the right prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for whether you think something is “good or “bad”. And that makes feelings of calmness, contentment and security wash over you.
  • If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “Thank You,” that would suffice. —Meister Eckhart
  • Never forget that the three most powerful forces in the world are always available to you to use: love, prayer and forgiveness.  Love is the MASTER KEY to everything…
  • There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is. —Albert Einstein
  • In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. —Aaron Rose
  •  Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. —Rumi
  • Gratitude is the only attitude.~ Cameron Diaz
  • To speak life means to think positively. It is important to choose words and thoughts that will uplift and inspire us especially when we face a trying time.
  • Never take anything for granted. Each day is a gift. It is a prize of its own. You have to go out there and receive it and enjoy it to the best of your abilities. That’s what I do every day of my life. And always remember: Believe.- Eric LeGrand whose football career ended in tragedy.
  • Gratitude comes from a place in your soul that knows the story could have ended differently.

ATTITUDE See Gratitude

    • You’re no better than anyone else, but nobody is better than you.
    • The key to good health is a good attitude. A good attitude is contagious. Be a carrier. -Unknown
    • Develop and maintain a positive attitude to help you manage your energy levels, keep your soul alive, take new paths, reduce stress, attack your fears and hang on when storms blows. Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.
    • None of us are born optimists. You aren’t in control of anything in life except your attitude. You may have to force a smile at first. Focus on your blessings.
    • Accentuate the positive, not the negative. Don’t look for something to complain about. Complaining is such a waste of time. People get bored hearing your complaints.It isn’t hard to find something good in every one and everything.
    • It is important to follow rules, finish what you start, never give up, develop leadership skills, teamwork, stay positive and motivated.
    • Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.
    • Being positive won’t guarantee you will succeed. But being negative will guarantee you won’t.
    • Don’t feed negativity as it will get uglier, nagging and demanding your attention.
    • If your life is off-key, maybe it’s because you have been deafened by the negative self-talk that doesn’t let God get a word in edgewise. – Mark Batterson.
    • “For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.” – Harry F. Banks
    • Video: Attitude is everything.
    • “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”–Scott Hamilton
    • “Your attitude not your aptitude will determine your altitude.” ~ Zig Ziglar
    • “If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.”-Charles R. Swindoll
    • Optimists make friends, earn respect, close sales, produce loyal clients, and others enjoy and want to be like them.  Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?
    • Video: Finish Strong It’s more than a statement, it’s an attitude.
    • Video: Finish Strong Teen Athlete any teen athlete can learn from it.
    • Video: The Power of Attitude
    • The best way to turn an ugly attitude into a beautiful one was by doing good. Wherever we have the opportunity,  we should do good to everyone.
    • Seeing the bad in the world and in people isn’t difficult or wise or insightful–it’s lazy Chip Gaines, TV show host
    • Change attitude and watch your blood pressure drop.
    • You reap what you sow. And that goes for attitudes. Angry thoughts attract anger. Frustration creates more frustation. Bitterness begets bitterness. The opposite is true. Kindness brings more kindness, positivity attracts positive people. Love creates more love.
    • You will never regret being kind.
    • Anyone can make a small gesture of kindness to another person that can effect change in the world.
    • Beauty is found in somoen who is kind, happy and authentic. – Bobbi Brown Cosmetics company founder.
    • Reap what you sow-  good  or bad. Just like Luke 6:38: Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  
    • “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” – Sri Ram
    • ‘Your past is nothing to do with your future. You can make life how you want it to be and you just need to take control of your life. Don’t let your parents’ life be yours.’  Fight through, life is what you make it. Story: here

See attitude under success

EDUCATION

RESPONSIBILITY

      • Embrace your mistakes. Sometimes you have to break the cake to eat it. 
      • Everybody makes mistakes. Some people won’t own up to them, but taking responsibility for them shows maturity.
      • Maturity doesn’t just come with age, but by the acceptance of responsibility. Accept personal responsibility. We are not victims. Do not blame your parents, siblings, husband, wife, teachers, officials, kids, neighbors political leaders, police. Everything is not someone else’s fault. Don’t be like ‘fault-finding, entitlement immersed society’ blaming others.
      • Forget blame. Your results are your responsibility.  It is not the fault of the government, the economy, your boss, your in-laws, our spouse, or the weather. You are where you are in life because of the actions you have taken.-Larry  Winget
      • “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis
      • You can’t make excuses in the real world. Just do your best.
      • When a winner makes a mistake he says, “I was wrong”; when a loser makes a mistake he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
      •  In the biblical story of Jonah, his stubborn actions threatened the lives of everyone around him on the ship that day. Deep inside, Jonah knew he was to blame but he didn’t want to face it, until it was nearly too late. Finally he asked, “Is it I , Lord?”
      • You are responsible for your own actions. Be accountable for your own actions- learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. (Those who do nothing never make mistakes.)
      • When one has their own work or money in something they will think before they tear it up. They will be choosier with what they buy if they have earned it.
      • Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift. that the power to work is a blessing that love of work is success.
      • In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success. Proverbs 3:6
      • If you want to succeed, be willing to assume responsibilities and to work to the highest level of your capabilities.
      •  Responsibility leads to success. Being responsible means playing by the rules. It’s not true that rules are made to be broken. If you work hard and are responsible for your own actions, play by the rules you can accomplish anything.
      • We take care of what we are given responsibility for. A pet is one of the first things a child learns with.

FRIENDS

      • Video: Friends Celebrating the joys of friendship
      • To stay young, keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)  (See aging)
      • Your friends are your greatest treasure.
      • Birds of a feather flock together while eagles soar.
      • You really are judged by the company you keep. You are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose your five wisely, making sure you choose the right ones. They are like the army you go through life with.
      • Keep good company or none. Good company and good conversation are the sinews of virtue. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. 
      • Believing the best in people usually brings out the best in them.

1936 How to Win Friends and Influence people – Dale Carnegie  went from a poor Missouri farm boy making five cents per hour to an international success making a dollar a minute teaching executives “how to win friends and influence people” .

      • Become really interested in others. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
      • See things, as often as possible, from their point of view (the honey-versus-vinegar approach).
      • Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
      • Smile! A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. People with smiles get higher “cuteness” ratings!
      • Make others feel important, using appreciation rather than flattery.  Praise people. If you are trying to change someone, praise every slight improvement.
      • Find the good and praise it.
      • Be direct in praising and indirect in criticizing.
      • Let people “save face.” If you have an idea you want someone to adopt, let him think the idea is his.
      • If you are trying to win someone to you way of thinking as a last resort throw down the challenge ) the “I bet you can’t do it” approach.

MAKING LOTS OF FRIENDS- ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE OTHERS – Showing Love See Rejection

      • “One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.” — Mother Teresa
      • The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. —Mother Teresa
      • “..it’s awful not to be loved. It’s the worst thing in the world…It makes you mean, and violent, and cruel.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
      • There is no limit to how much you can love.
      • When we relinquish the punishing need for perfection–or rather, let go of the fear of not being perfect–we find freedom, joy and all the other good stuff we want in life. -Reshma Saujani
      • One of the basic needs of human nature is to be accepted. We fear rejection and somehow get the idea that we are only worth what other people think we are worth. We allow their personal ups and downs to put limits on our self image and the opinions we hold on most everything. but they, also, have a need for acceptance and look for someone else to supply it. Looking for approval can become a vicious circle where people hang together in tight little knots for ego preservation. We forget that self-acceptance is a necessity. When we have earned our own self-respect, gained our own self-confidence, we no longer have to worry about who likes us. We’ve been searching for ourselves in other people and it’s an inside job, a need to be centered and poised in our own self-identity. – Joyce Hifler
      • Ego is just an overdressed insecurity,
      • I think half or almost all of the pain in the world…is people not feeling seen. It’s like Mr. Rogers, my hero, says: Love is at the root of everything….love or the lack of it. –Constance Wu, actor
      • When you speak to a person always look into their eyes. People are  hungry for acknowledgement, eye contact, which social media has taken away.
      • Concentrate on making others feel special. Try to live so that people miss you when you are gone.
      • Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2 (NASB)
      • Be a calming presence. A touch of a hand and a gentle caress are all ways to make an emotional connection.
      • Be the person you needed when you were younger.
      • Find ways to include everyone. Make them feel as if there is nothing more valuable than the time you are able to spend with them.
      •  Most people need love and acceptance more than they need advice. -Bob Goff, motivational speaker.
      • The sanest thing in this world is love. —Anne Sexton
      • Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a message of acceptance for those who appear different.
      • When you meet a quiet person, remember ‘Still waters run deep.”
      • Bringing out the best in others is the mark of a successful person.
      • People who are most successful in life do not get tot he top because of what happens to them; they get to the top because of how they react to what happens to them.
      • Not every person looks a certain way. Each is unique, rare, one of a kind.
      • See situations through a different lens: Try to look at things through the other person’s eyes.
      • Look people in eye. Eyes are the window of the soul.
      • Always acknowledge anything anyone does for you with a genuine thank you. You are not entitled! Send a thank you card, a thank you e-mail or pick up the phone and make the call immediately. (You know how it feels to not be thanked.) Always say “thank you” and not the kind of half-hearted utterance you gave at age three when Mom was standing over you, prompting you. (God, too, likes to hear a thank you.)
      • Write thank you notes to those you are grateful to have in your life. hair stylist and friends. You never know how many you will touch with your kindness Readers Digest rd.com March 2019
      •  “Pay it forward” when someone does something nice for you.
      • Treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world–because they are important. If not to you, then to someone; and if not today, then perhaps tomorrow. -From the Book The Power of nice.
      • A wonderful story about the importance of paying attention to others and being kind to them.  Wanting to graduate with a perfect GPA Walt had spent many hours studying and had maintained a 4.0 average all the way through college. On the final exam in his business course the teacher handed out the exam but both sides were blank. The professor explained: “I’ve taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last 10 weeks, but in your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.” The last question which would count toward the quiz grade was: What’s the name of the lady who cleans this building?” Walt handed in his paper, leaving that last question blank. “It was the only test I ever failed. I didn’t graduate with a perfect GPA. I got the ‘B’ I deserved. Her name was Dorothy (Dottie), and I didn’t know Dorothy. I’d seen her, but I’d never taken the time to ask her name. This was one of the biggest most important career lessons I ever learned and I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve tried to know every Dorothy I’ve worked with ever since.” -Walt is Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab.

      • His experience is a great reminder of what really matters in life. We meet many people every week – clients, customers, colleagues, the checkout girl at the grocery store, the guy at the toll booth. Each one is significant.
        Be present and passionate about people. Be on the lookout for Dorothy, quiet leaders and silent heroes. Each person who crosses our path gives us an opportunity to acknowledge them, even if it’s just a smile and a hello. The greatest gift we could give another is to truly see them.  Make eye contact with people  and speak. If you see someone frequently  learn their name and use it when you speak to them.

EGO

      •  Fighting for something- If you truly believe in your soul that the world would be a better place, that the course of history and your corner of mankind  will truly be better stand up and be a man. But, if you know in your heart, deep down inside, the it doesn’t really matter, except to you and your ego, then be a real man.  Even though you were right:  Apologize for an argument, even if you aren’t wrong. You don’t need to be wrong to apologize for an argument. It is a great way to smooth over a disagreement.  Because  a man should only stand up for the things that truly matter.
      • You got to know what you know and then have enough intelligence and little enough ego to say, “This is where I need help”. Sterling K. Brown

APPRECIATION see acknowledge

      • Video Appreciation Thank someone today who has touched your life.
      • Thank a Veteran. They are willing to go, in your place, to fight to keep America free. This is the very least you can do to honor them. (REMEMBER: We honor Veterans on Nov 11th each year. Memorial Day is a day to honor those who lost their lives in war, not everyone else who has passed.   PLEASE don’t get them confused.)
      • Acknowledge grandparents and siblings birthdays
      • When someone lets you in, in traffic, acknowledge their kindness with a wave….and be sure that you too, let others in, in traffic.
      • Never pass up an opportunity to tell all janitors, cooks, gardeners and garbage collectors you encounter each day how much their work means to the world.  (Notes of appreciation to the people who make your life better – the local police dept, the neighbor who rototills your garden, the manager of the grocery store, friends, members of the church, the postmaster, family members, pastor, neighbors, former teachers, classmates, clerks at Walmart.  The gratitude  from people who may have never been told they were appreciated will warm your heart.   This costs you nothing and can mean the world to someone.)

ALONE

      • We are all in this life together. It would be awful to think that you are alone. We need other people. Sometimes it takes a stranger to show you that even in a time of need you are never alone.
      • Jesus does want to speak to us–today. In our own language, just as a friend would speak. Take time to listen. (Wally Armstrong)

JESUS

Jesus never says, ‘Get cleaned up and then come in.’ He says, ‘Come in. I’ll clean you up.’  -Max Kicado

MATURITY

      • Maturity is knowing that silence is more powerful than having the last word.
      • ctrl “f” here for more.

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MANUAL WORKERS DESERVE A HAND – HOLD `LOWLY’ PROFESSIONS IN HIGH ESTEEM  By Abigail Van Buren  Published: June 17, 1992 12:00 am

DEAR ABBY: I cannot forget a letter you had in your column some time ago. It was written by a person who didn’t know what to say when he (or she) was asked what he did for a living. From the tone of the letter I concluded that the person was working for minimum wage, or doing some kind of manual labor of which he was somewhat ashamed.

This, coupled with the following remark a school principal made to my son, prompts this letter. My son was having problems in school, so his teacher took him to the principal. In talking to my son, the principal asked, “Do you want to be a ditchdigger all your life?” My son replied, “What’s wrong with being a ditchdigger? It’s honest work.”The principal called me to school because of my son’s “smart mouth.” When the principal repeated what my son had said, I responded: “Nothing was wrong with what he said. If there were no ditchdiggers we’d be up to our necks in water and filth.” I also told the principal he was dead wrong to demean ditchdiggers, and repeated what my son had said. “It’s honest work.”

Then I went on to say: “I am a professional who works with professionals, and I get really steamed when my co-workers look down on people who are minimum-wage laborers. If no one picked up the garbage, cleaned the septic tanks, laid sewage pipes, picked the crops and worked in the fields, where would we be? This country was founded on hard work – most of it manual labor. Pride comes in doing the best you can with whatever talents you possess.”

I will close with a comment I heard a long time ago. I don’t know the author, but it goes something like this:

“Use what talents you possess, for the woods would be silent if no birds sang except the best.” – C.V.J.

God has given each of us a talent. Why should we allow  anything get in our way of fulfilling it –from doing what we have been given the ability to do?

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WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS A LOSS

      • Those whom we support hold us up in life, so show kindness and compassion; be supportive of all.
      • Even the smallest acts can leave an incalculable impact.We may do something for someone else that we don’t even remember, but it may cause that other person’s life to turn in some positive way.
      • Express sympathy  when a friend loses one they love–flowers, a call, a card, a casserole, a listening ear,  mow their yard or just show up and don’t ask what you can do. Never say, “Call me if you need something!” They need it, they just don’t know what it is as their mind isn’t clear. Figure out what needs to be done and just do it!  Grand words are meaningless, but thoughtful actions are timeless.   This is endearing to some and will help make friends even better friends.
      • If you don’t know someone well and they mention that they lost someone at least tell them you are sorry for their loss and you hope they find peace.
      • Showing up as a witness to someone else’s loss is a vital expression of our own humanity. (On attending the funeral when someone you care about loses a loved one.)   Ask Amy 12/19/18
      • When someone is hurting respond to their pain, without being thrown by their behavior. Simply open your heart and be fully present to them.; move toward their suffering instead of away from it. They may be feeling deep regret, that they have let their loved one down, by spending so much time working or maybe they didn’t say I love you enough. Use their memories to remind them of their gestures of affection and acts of loyalty and sacrifice. Maybe they worked the long hours away from home to support them or put  in overtime to pay for their meds. Long hours with them at an oncology clinic and building a wheel chair ramp, so their loved one could go outside are expressions of love.

Kindness, Encouraging Inspiring others….Consideration of Others Because Rudeness is the weak persons imitation of strength.  ~ unknown

      • You are only as good as your last impression.
      • Doing a kindness every day will give your life true meaning (365 days of Kindness)
      • Build your own cheering squad by being kind to others.
      • When you have the opportunity to embarrass someone, instead help them and continue to do so. You feel good when you help others.
      • Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. but being a gentleman is a matter of choice.- Vin Diesel, actor
      • Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations –Richter
      • It is never crowded along the extra mile.
      • Encourage others and in doing so you ensure they will succeed.
      • Inspire others to inspire others Hebrews 10:24 Your encouragement can make all the difference in their life.
      • You never diminish yourself when you praise another.
      • How you see yourself is how others should see you. Ignoring someone activates the part of his brain that registers physical pain, so shutting him out actually hurts him.  If you are mad and raise your voice it is better than acting as thought the other person doesn’t exist.
      • Live in such a way that those who know you but don’t know God will come to know God because they know you.
      • We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. -Mother Teresa.
      • The best way to ensure that your children grow to become kind and compassionate adults is to teach them how to be kind and compassionate children- Kathryn Sansone, mother of 10.
      • All moments are teachable.
      • Simple acts of kindness are the key to restoring hope and bringing fresh strength to those who are desperate to believe that someone cares. Eye contact with a cheerful good morning, a kind word, a smile or holding the door for another are all actions of love. The day you truly understand the incredible power of love you will never look back.
      • The Magic of Kindness – The Power of Kindness The most effective technique for transforming your life is Simple…just be a little kinder. What you do matters. Teacher teaches children with Acts of Kindness cards and sees the potential. Orly Wahba (Look for opportunity to share loving kindness.)
      • Thinking about others first, above yourself, is the ultimate act of kindness.
      • What is charity? It is silence–when your words would hurt. It is patience–when your neighbor is curt. It is deafness– when a scandal flows. It is thoughtfulness– for others woes. It is promptness–when a duty calls. It is courage–when misfortune falls. (Elizabeth Sherrill)
      • Treating all people with respect is a wonderful gift to carry throughout life. It costs nothing to treat someone with respect.
      • Be kind. Other people are as intuitive as you are, and judge  you just as you do them. And remember that before you judge them….there is always another side; suspend judgment. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes when you feel judgmental.
      •  Before you assume- learn the facts. Before you judge- seek to understand. Before you hurt someone- place yourself in their shoes. Before you leave- commit to work through it first.
      • Kind words make good echoes.
      • At the end of your time here on earth, the world will either be more or less kind, compassionate, generous, funny, creative and loving because of your presence in it–and you alone get to choose. – John Pavlovitz
      • Use your time wisely. None of us know how long we (or our loved ones) will be here. Life can change forever, in the blink of an eye.
      • God places each of us in this world so that there will be more compassion and caring, there will be more laughter and joy, that there will be more togetherness in His world. We each have a part in making it happen.
      • Be considerate. Your actions affect others, and other people’s feelings are just like your own.
      • Whether it be treasure, time or talent, we all have something to offer. – Chris Pratt, actor
      • Acts are wrong if they insult the dignity of others. Poverty is an insult to dignity; a helplessness.
      • Never focus on how much another person makes.  Focus on what one brings to society.
      • In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
      • Just as you do before zooming out in traffic, when walking in a crowd ALWAYS glance around and over your shoulder before you veer off . You do not want to look like a clumsy galoot  knocking down  someone coming from behind and  going around you.
      • Hold open doors for both ladies and anyone older than you, allowing them to enter ahead of you.
      • When you see an older person, notice if there is anything you can do for them. At Grandpa and Grandma’s offer to put the sack of potting soil in the garage, change a light bulb that has burned out, trim the bushes. It costs you nothing but will mean the world to them.
      • Tact is the ability to shut your mouth before someone wants to do it for you.
      • After returning someone to their car or home, NEVER drive away until they get into the house safely or get their car moving. No one wants to be stranded.
      • A gentleman always sees a lady to the door (which means he stays with her to the end).
      • Always  make your bed at other people’s homes, which means to always leave things better than you found them. Give the host a gift or take them out to eat. Add value to everything.
      •  Never park in someone else’s  driveway, even if it is a good friends house.  It is rude to take over another’s space.
      • Say “You’re welcome”, not “no problem”, which implies that it might have been a problem.
      • Good manners sets you apart from the crowd. Beyond the obvious….don’t smack when you eat, don’t “fake laugh”…don’t be loud…
      • Nobody likes a selfish person who always lets others get the check. Don’t be a “mooch”! Reach for the bill once in awhile, and ALWAYS pay when you are the one who suggested going out. (It doesn’t matter if it is grandma and grandpa. Don’t be a jerk.) Takers may sometimes eat better, but the givers always sleep better. He who gives while he lives knows where it goes.
      • A gentleman who had been incarcerated said his favorite thing about being out was paying bills; paying rent as he felt like he was contributing to society.
      • Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Plato
      •  Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel. —King Solomon
      • Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not. —Paulo Coelho
      •  My every thought has the power either to wound or heal. I will use my thoughts wisely and respect their power. —Deepak Chopra
      •  Before you speak, ask yourself: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence? —Unknown
      •  We are never so much disposed to quarrel with others as when we are dissatisfied with ourselves. —William Hazlitt
      •  All the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. —Yogic sages
      • The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. —Henry David Thoreau

THE PAST / REGRETS/ GUILT/ Past, Present and Future/ RESENTMENT See forgiveness and depression

      • Guilt serves no purpose. You can’t go back and change one thing that has happened. Forgive yourself and move on.  -Larry  Winget
      • Suffering over things that have happened to us is nothing more than an argument with the past. -Byron Katie
      • Unresolved regrets that only God can relieve us of, a God whose arms are big enough to wrap around anyone.
      • God gave us only two arms. If we hang on to the past,  we can’t embrace the future.
      • Never underestimate the power of tomorrow.   -Inspired by Jeremiah 29:11 
      • Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
      • Time erases the hurt of some memories, but  often something small happens to bring the pain again.  There is no reason to allow ourselves to be controlled by the past.       Face the hurt by understanding  that memory is like a broken record, driving us nuts as it plays over and over in our mind.  Nobody has use for an old broken record. Move on.   Don’t trip over what is behind you.
      • Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.
      • Learn from your mistakes. Change what is hard.
      • Life is change. Growth is optional. – Maria Taylor
      • No limit for better. Keep changing until  you get it as close to being right as you can.
      • You can’t do anything about what is gone, but you can do something about what is left. Plan to  arrive at the finish line with no regrets.
      • You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. —Wayne Dyer
      • In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.
      • Winning doesn’t always mean coming in first, but arriving at the finish line with no regrets.
      • The past is a place of reference, not a place of residency. – Willie Jolley
      •  Yesterday is a cancelled check. There is nothing you can do other than refer to it and learn. Tomorrow is a promissory note. It may or may not pay off. Today is the only cash you have for sure, so spend it wisely. Find a way to utilize today to the ultimate degree while planning and preparing for those things tomorrow that we want to experience. ”
      • Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
      • You can’t start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one.-Unknown
      • Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools”- Unknown
      • Don’t stress the could-haves. If it should have, it would have.
      • When we realize we deserve more, the world will open up. When we realize the past is no longer welcome in our future, our hearts can again open up.
      • Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past because of one simple reason….they just don’t belong in our future.
      • Don’t let the past steal your present.  – Cherralea Morgen
      • One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one’s reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present.” – S.N. Goenka
      • “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” – Bob Proctor
      •  “We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” – Robin Sharma
      •  “The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.” – Celestine Chua
      • “Be present — it is the only moment that matters.” – Peaceful Warrior
      • “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” – B. Olatunji
      •  “Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.” – Ann Landers
      • “Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever.” – Deepak Chopra

DO SOMETHING…    BEGIN  JUST DO IT…as Norman Vincent Peale always used to say….Don’t procrastinate…don’t let fear stop you

  • Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen. –Unknown
  • “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
  • The most important things is simply to get off your butt and doing something. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who will do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer. –Nolan Bushnell
  • Ideas get drowned out because most of us spend too much time worrying about how successful or unsuccessful we will be and how little we are focusing on the task. – unknown.
  • It is never too late to be what you might have been.  -George Eliot
  • “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
  • “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill
  • A bird in a cage is safe but God didn’t create birds for that. —Unknown
  • “Begin the thing and ye shall have the power. But those who do not begin have not the power.”
  • “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi
  • Begin now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. – Paula Best
  •  There is one grand lie: that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe. —Wayne Dyer
  • “Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.”–James Cook
  •  The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.–Anthony Robbins
  • You being to move mountains when you start carrying away small stones.
  • Inch by inch, its a cinch.
  • “The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back. —Harvey MacKay
  •  “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ~Elbert Hubbard
  • A boat is safe in the harbor. But this is not the purpose of a boat. – Paulo Coelho
  • Stop whining!   Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle.
  •  “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do” –Mark Twain
  • “Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John R. Wooden
  •  “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.”–Arthur Ashe
  •  Life is not a dress rehearsal. Stop practicing what you’re going to do and just do it!

HELPING OTHERS IN NEED/  VOLUNTEERING /  THE JOY OF GIVING/ SHARING/ FINDING OUR PURPOSE/COMPASSION See happiness and Caregivers

  •  Feeling needed provides a sense of satisfaction and a purpose for living.  (To eat and drink and find satisfaction in all your toil- this is the gift of God- Ecclesiastes 2:24 and 3:13)
  • God expects us to give our time, our resources and our love until everyone has enough.
  •   The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.   Proverbs 11:25
  • No matter where you are in the world, somebody will be worse off than you. And if you think like that, you will always have the mind-set to give back. – Priyanka Chopra, actor
  • God’s work, your hands.
  • Health might start in the body, but it extends way beyond the physical–it’s abut your   connections to the world and people around you and your ability to serve and give.  -Tim McGraw
  • Each person on this planet is here for a purpose.That purpose is to care for other people and to help this world become a better place through service to others. -actor Gary Sinise
  • Sometimes our journeys might seem uncertain and without purpose, but every step we take brings us closer to understanding why we are here.- Jose Andres
  • Giving and faith are inextricably connected. The gift of compassion is a gift of God. Jesus’ teaching to take care of these, the least of my brethren.
  • One of my highest privileges is when I know I am being used by God to help others.-Lori Hogan  from her book, Strength for the Moment: Inspiration for Caregivers)
  • Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. Peter replied “Yes, You know I love you. Jesus responds “Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep.”
  • I have observed over and over that people seem to get a much deeper sense of fulfillment out of something they’ve done as an act of service than out of the things they do for themselves. – Actor  Edward Norton, who founded the charity Crowdrise, a social networking community for volunteers.
  • Our strongest bonds are made over meals. That type of fellowship, builds a sense of community. One of the best places to do this is definitely your church home. – Oscar winner and author Octavia Spencer.Volunteering at a soup kitchen feels great for the volunteer serving the food. However, the person receiving the food, while they are very appreciative, they don’t feel valued. They don’t feel as if they are part of the community. In fact, those in need often feel alienated and ostracized from society. At our ‘Meet Your Neighbor’ events no one serves one another. Everyone eats together. The focus is that we are one neighborhood, we look at each other an we eat with one another because we are all neighbors, part of one community. All too often, we assume we know what our neighbor may need and forget to ask how we can help. Feeling valued and being a part of a community is one of the greatest gifts you can give. – Adina Lichtman who started the non-profit Knock Knock, Give a Sock.
  •  “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” — Audrey Hepburn
  • Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others. – Danny Thomas
  • Success is not the key to happiness. The key to happiness is love.
  • The key to success is living a God-centered and Holy Spirit led life.
  • There are no keys to success – only tools to great achievements.
  • The key to achievement is to never sacrifice happiness for the sake of achievement. Success as defined by the world does not mean automatic happiness. The harder you chase it the less happy you will be. Satan will cause you to pursue it relentlessly for his own purpose.
  • Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently.
  • Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm- “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that it won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
  • Pull as you climb, means to help others be successful.
  • Tolstoy and Einstein both concluded that the meaning of life is helping others. That should motivate us to do more of it. People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.
  • The River Principle– Our life is like a river, not a reservoir. God will give to us what He knows will flow through us.
  • Helping those who are  vulnerable and in need is not a burden or an obligation but an opportunity to be like Christ.    Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5
  • Giving people a hand up, not a hand out is the way forward. –Actor Hugh JAckman
  • Video: The Dash It’s not the date you were born, or the date you died, that really matters. It’s “the dash” between those years and what you do with it that does.
  • Along with paying their tithes, worshipers at Mount Caramel Missionary Baptist Church in Norfolk, VA., are paying off their bills.  “You can’t serve both your MasterCard and your Master” is Bishop C. Vernie Russell, Jr’s mantra. Once a month, he selects a family and the congregations contribute  money to pay their arrears. The average gift is $50. So far, members have donated more than $600,000 to help 70 families. Once out of debt, each family is required to give $300 to help somebody else. Russell says the debt-liquidations revivals will continue until every parishioner is debt-free.  Read the whole story here http://www.lisaarmstrong.net/forgive-us-our-debts/ or  http://www.blackenterprise.com/forgive-us-our-debts/
  • Give away some of everything you have. Prosperity flows. Keep the flow coming into your life by giving to those who need it. – Larry Winget
  • Serve others. Your rewards are in direction proportion to your service The more you serve others, the more you will be served. – Larry Winget
  • Get ‘caught in the act” of helping others. (Whether you know it or not, others do notice and someday it WILL come back around.) It’s the little things in life that matter; you don’t have to make a big splash. Ask yourself, Would the world be a better place if there were more people like me?
  • Be aware of others and lend a hand.
  •  Our hearts are blessed beyond measure as we serve and interact with others.
  • Parents who teach their kids the simple  life lesson in how to treat people give the child a wonderful gift to  carry throughout life.
  • Sharing money is what gives it great value.  The Lord has sources of supply you cannot dream of. Do not clutch at money with closed fists. Open your hands. Give and it will be given unto you.
  • Be open to helping others. Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him. ~ Albert Schweitzer
  • Video: One Solitary Life a man who showed that what really matters is not wealth, power, or status but what you do for others.
  • For whom much is given, much is expected.
  • “Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book… The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better… Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.” -Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life.
  • No drive has more positive ripple effects than the desire to be of service. There are lots of resources each of us can pull from our safes to share with others — time, attention, knowledge, patience, creativity, talent, effort, humor, compassion. And sure enough, something greater rises up every time we give: the easy breathing of a friend we sit with when we had other plans, the relief on our child’s face when we share the story of our own mistake, laughter at the well-timed joke we tell to someone who is crying, the excitement of the kids in the school we send books to, the safety of the families who sleep in the shelters we fund. These immediate results are only the beginning. Their value keeps multiplying and spreading in ways we may never know.  We each come by the gifts we have to offer by an infinite series of influences and lucky breaks we can never fully understand.- Mackenzie Bezos
  •  Getting a foot in the door- That is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.- Neil Armstrong
  • Assist others whenever possible and recognize the value in all people and the commonalities we share.
  • My goal isn’t to live forever, but to create something that will- James Postoak
  • We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. -Winston Churchill
  • Don’t just aspire to make a living. Aspire to make a difference. -Denzel Washington.
  • Those who help others often benefit as much, or more, as those they serve.
  • Helping others reduces stress and boosts overall well-being.
  • Better health can lead to a longer, more fulfilled life.
  • A lady  tells how she with a college degree was vain and proud, who  disdained a generous gift from God because it didn’t flatter her well-manicured self image. But the self image was false. God had given them food, clothes, work and their house and still they complained that they ended up having to work as janitors.   There are verses in the Bible where Jesus tells his followers to serve others. He says to seek out the lowliest places because He too, came not to be served, but to serve.
  • Volunteering provides numerous opportunities to build a social network.
  • “For it is in giving that we receive.” —Saint Francis of Assisi
  • The fellow who does things that count doesn’t usually stop to count them. – from God’s Little Instruction Book
  • Volunteering-  a legal high for health and happiness
  • Think of volunteer work as being internship-Some have worked into full time jobs while volunteering. Volunteering is a way to set yourself apart from others,  to get  noticed; a way to network.  Volunteering opens doors to meeting and making connections to people you would never be able to otherwise.   and it looks great on your resume.
  • Volunteering can open doors
  • The best way to get volunteers is simply to ask. In every organization I’ve served, what got me there was being asked by someone. Ginnie Graham
  • Video: Paid in Full. The Secret to Living is Giving   guaranteed road to happiness is   quite simple…give to others. Make a difference in the lives of others and your own heart will be touched. All you need is a big heart and a little time.
  • Happiness happens when we give it away. – Max Lucado
  • Happiness is the key to success.
  • You hold the key to an unending source of happiness  by encouraging others.
  • Five simple rules for happiness: Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less. – from 1000lifelessons.com

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JOBS / CAREER/ WORK/ OPPORTUNITY/ Encourage See goals and volunteering can work into a full time job.

  • Earning pay excites the mind more than a windfall of cash or nabbing a lottery jackpot according to Emory University researchers.
  • No matter your profession, work isn’t the solid foundation you might want it to be. It will not bring you great joy.   Make God your  #1 priority, family second and everything else will fall into place. Your joy and strength will come from God.  Pour everything into your family.- unknown
  • Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance.
  • A man is meant to work, to go out into the world and trust in God to make his dreams come true.
  • Upbeat people are twice as likely to keep their jobs. Be kind a thoughtful. It is not beneath you to make coffee or refill the copier.
  • Some parts of your job may not be exciting, but find ways to make it rewarding. Reshape your job to fit your situation.    Enthusiasm carries us over the hump. Amazing what an enthusiastic person can accomplish. Enthusiasm released to carry us over the obstacle. Look for and create the opportunity.
  • Opportunities multiply as they are seized. —Sun Tsu
  • Opportunities will come, but you’ve got to be ready. Study practice, visualize a full dress rehearsal in your head, picture the outcome, pray. If you think positively about what lies ahead, it often comes to pass. There are always hurdles in life. Picture yourself going over them, leaping form one challenge to the next and you will accomplish anything.
  • “Spend eighty percent of your time focusing on the opportunities of tomorrow rather than the problems of yesterday.” – Brian Tracy
  • “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” — Chris Grosser
  • “There is no security on the earth, there is only opportunity.”–General Douglas MacArthur
  • Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”–Thomas Edison
  • “I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.”–Oprah Winfrey
  • The more you learn the more it will help later in life. One female attorney knew how to drive a tractor and put it on her resume. She got hired.
  • There is never a point, as long as there’s breath in our body and one brain cell that’s still hopping along, that we cannot continue to grow and to learn.
  • Secrets of Straight-A Students | Reader’s Digest
  • Love what you do or do something else. You can’t be good at anything you don’t love. People will do more business with you when they can tell and know  that you love what you do. – Larry Winget
  • Your job isn’t to make a living but to make a life.
  • Nobody ever said on their deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office or   had more time for work.”You don’t want the end to come and you wish you had loved more, smelled more roses, reached out to helped others more. You have to do that now.
  • I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” — Thomas Jefferson When I work fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, I get lucky. —Armand Hammer
  •  If you get laid off, you may have to return to school but some have shared that to prevail (they end up earning more than their previous income)by keeping their head up, maintaining a positive attitude and even returning to school if they have to, to learn all they can.
  • Every exit is an entry to something else.
  • Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
  • Don’t aspire to make a living. Aspire to make a difference. ~ Denzel Washington
  • Video: The Power of Teamwork Nine key principles inspired by the Blue Angels.
  • One of the best examples of the importance of teamwork comes from nature. As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it. When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position. The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock. (People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. Staying in formation with those headed where we want to go they are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. Taking turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership,  interdependent on each other’s skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources. where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement is the quality of honking we seek. stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.
  •  “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain 
  • The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.
  • Attempt the impossible to improve your work. Bette Davis
  • The secret of joy in work is contained in one word- Excellence  ~ Pearl S. Buck
  • It is more important to be competent than to be liked. What makes one person like you makes another hate you, so being liked by everyone is unattainable. You may as well be competent. There is no “I” in team.
  • Never be afraid to pause on the road. Many times it will be the best part of the journey.
  •  Learn to say no to all the wasteful things you are asked to do. When you count the hours, and to use each day to the fullest of  your creative energy. If you deal with the present, you don’t have to worry about the future.
  • Video: The Simple Truths of Service  inspired by Johnny the Bagger

SALES-

  • If you have the ability to sell something, you will never go hungry. Video: Sales Motivation
  • Plan your strategy.
  • Consultative selling- value added. Provide knowledge with  integrity.  Most customers don’t know what they want. Salesman’s job is to help them find out. Learn what they want to use it for, who else will be using it, how much can they afford, so you can figure out best plan. Tell me about problems you are having. (Ask the questions…You spend x to get x. Makes you or save you X…so price isn’t important? )
  • Teach the customer. Be the trusted advisor. (Fish don’t know about water. People don’t know about air.)
  • Always show value added.  I can’t beat on price but I can on value. Our value proposes it will bring….
  • Call up your customer 30 days after the sale and ask How do your friends like it? Even if his/her friends don’t like it, he/she won’t be able to admit it. They need to justify in own mind that they made a good buy, then ask names and number of his/her  friends.
  • Selling something- Give a little background. Everybody has a story. Example:When people know about the family it makes the auctioneers job easier as it gives their possessions more value. All you have to do is give them a chance to tell it.

KNOWLEDGE

  • In the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. (MEANING: even a person with limited abilities and knowledge is at a great advantage in the company of those with lesser abilities and less knowledge than he. )
  • When your only experience in business is that you have worked for a business does not give you knowledge to run one.
  •  Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can get the information- Samuel Johnson
  • Knowledge is proud because she knows so much. Wisdom is humble because she knows so little.
  • “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” – Vince Lombardi

LAZY WHO DON’T WANT TO WORK

  • Lazy people who take handouts are less healthy, less wealthy and less happy.
  • If you don’t work you don’t eat, (2nd Thessalonians 3:10). This Bible verse doesn’t pertain to those who cannot work due to physical challenges, bodily diseases, old age, and the greed of employers. (Unwilling to work  is what everybody misses,)
  •  Never be idle. If your hands cannot be employed usefully, attend to the culture of your mind.

SNOBBISH See judgment

  • People often appear aloof and act superior  because they feel inadequate or inferior. (Those who talk a lot about money and inheritance want to associate with people who are as well off as they  wish they were.) Snobbishness of any kind is a sign of limitation.
  • When you strut, you stumble.
  •  Be sincere. Eventually everyone will find you out and judge you by your true self and not by your pretensions.
  •  Never speak bad of anyone and if anyone speaks bad of you, make sure you are living your life be so that no one believes him.  (Your character cannot be essentially injured except by your own acts.) Good character is above everything else.Keep your own secrets, if you have any.

GOSSIP AND JUDGMENT See Bullies

  • (Quidnunc- KWID’NUNGK‘), N. A person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip; a gossip or busybody)
  •  “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Only a fool tells all he knows.
  • Gossip is like a nasty virus. If you learn to co er your mouth you won’t spread the germs.
  • When you gossip not only are you telling someone else but you’r letting other know that you are a tattletale.
  • If what you say to someone cannot be said to everyone, then say it to no one.
  • Unencumbered by facts, it is easy to  speak freely. So, don’t look foolish, always do your research and think things through before you attempt to debate anyone, especially on religion or politics.
  • If you had $86,400 and someone stole $60, would you throw away $86, 340 for revenge? Or move on and live? Each of us have 86,400 seconds every day DON’T let someone’s negative 60 seconds ruin the remaining 86,340. Life is bigger than that and so are you. – Denzel Washington
  • Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.
  • It is easy to criticize and judge when we don’t have the facts.
  • “It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand.” – Doe Zantamata
  • See others through God’s eyes. God doesn’t see an addict. His child He sees redeemed, restored and whole.
  •  Judging  is easy for those  who have  no  understanding of  the challenges that confronted some in their early years. Hiding the incredible pain and fear  can have a life long effect and drive one to questionable actions. We may seem so despicable that people refuse even to make eye contact, and we only wish they knew what is going on in our  life.  Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!    Hebrews 13:2 https://biblehub.com/hebrews/13-2.htm
  • Jesus taught “to take care of these, the least of my brethren”. To see why: go here
  • May my story be a witness of God’s love and redemption to be used for His glory as others  receive understanding why we are to not judge, but instead show Christ’s compassion and kindness to everyone.

REJECTION…see also depression and criticism

    • Always remember no matter how many people say no, all you need to find is one single person to say yes. Just one person.
    • Keep in mind that it is easier to be pulled down than to be pulled up.

    BULLIES / Mistreat See rejection

    • No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
    • Nobody can make you feel anyway. Rise above it.
    • First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. —Ghandi
    • Don’t worry too much about what people think of you. You wouldn’t worry so much about what they were thinking of you if you knew how little they were thinking about you.
    • Enemies sometimes compel us to do more and to succeed.’
    • Probaby the most profound thing in the Bible is ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.’ This is what, to me, is the essence of Christianity.- Dave Brubeck, legendary jazz musician and composer.
    • Mother used to say that when someone was ugly with you to “kill them with kindness”.  It will drive them crazy and co-workers will wonder how anyone could say such ugly things about someone so nice. (No wonder everyone loved my mother!)
    • Feel sorry for those who hurt you without cause. In that way you will be the bigger person because the problem is theirs, not yours. Many times they strike out at you because they are hurting.
    • Many who were bullied and belittled  took it as encouragement to show others with an  “I will show you!” attitude; working hard to make sure the people who bullied them can’t believe how their lives have turned out.   Standing up for someone else we learn to stand up for others.
    • Supposedly every person has been bullied or made fun of…..Here are just a few sharing their story:
      • Chris Rock developed his humor and wit as a response to bullies. “It made me who I am,” Rock said, going so far as to thank the people who “kicked my a–, spit in my face, and kicked me down the stairs. It lit a fire under me to succeed.
      • Winona Ryder was beaten up in junior high.  She later ran into her old bully at a cafe.  The bully asked for an autograph, and Winona replied: “Go f*** yourself.”
      • Tiger Woods– racial slurs
      • Khloe Kardashian has struggled with her weight and her confidence, making her an easy target for school bullies.
      • Bill Clinton was teased for his weight growing up.
      • Kate Winslet (starred in Titanic) was made fun of for her weight.  She says that fellow classmates would call her terrible names like “blubber.”  Growing up, no part of Winslet was off-limits to bullies – not even her feet. “I was chubby, always had big feet, the wrong shoes, bad hair,””[They] teased me for wanting to act. Locked me in the cupboard. Laughed at me.” The bullying continued into her adult years, too. In an interview with Rolling Stone, the Oscar winner revealed that “Titanic” director James Cameron called her “Kate Weighs-a-Lot.”
      • Jackie Chan “I allowed myself to be bullied because I was scared and didn’t know how to defend myself.” The martial arts master says he put an end to the abuse by defending a classmate. “I was bullied until I prevented a new student from being bullied. By standing up for him, I learned to stand up for myself.
      •  Sandra Bullock– clothes. I looked like a clown compared to the cool way the other students looked and dressed,” Sandra Bullock said in a 2009 interview. “So I got my ass whooped a little bit. Kids are mean, and the sad thing is that I can still remember the first and last names of every one of those kids who were mean to me!
      • Justin Timberlake was bullied at school. “They called me different, they called me weird, they called me a couple of other words I can’t say on TV. Thankfully, my mother taught me that being different was a good thing, that being different meant you could actually make a difference.”
      • Jessica Simpson-   was a victim of the school’s mean girl group: “I had girls egging my home, writing curse words on the sidewalk in paint — just saying really nasty things about me.” , but the star credits her unfortunate youthful experiences with helping her as a high profile celebrity, learning how to deal with constant scrutiny from the media. “I grew up in that fishbowl of always being judged and watched. I really do believe that was God preparing me for the life I’m living now.”
      •  Cindy Crawford  As a high schooler, the supermodel was often teased and ridiculed, mostly about things that ended up becoming her trademarks. “I hated my eyebrows and my hair,” she wrote in her book “Becoming.” “The mole was the thing I got teased about and was embarrassed about, and that set me apart.”  Cindy Crawford also recalls the time classmates set up a fake modeling job just to embarrass her. “I felt all the air leave my body. I ran out of the store as fast as I could, only to see two girls from my high school standing on the corner laughing. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.”
      • Rumer Willis‘ tormenters were tabloids, who would compare her to her “masculine father” Bruce Willis and cruelly scrutinize her face and body, causing her to consider plastic surgery as a young teen. “I thought … ‘If I change my face or get really skinny, that will be it. That will be the answer.’ And it’s not,” Willis said, wiping away tears, on an episode of Dancing with the Stars
      •  Michelle Trachtenberg  -actress  “This one girl in high school threw me down a flight of stairs, fractured my ribs, punched and fractured my nose,
      • Victoria Beckham  Before she was a Spice Girl, classmates “were literally picking things up out of the puddles and throwing them at me, and I just stood there, on my own. No one was with me.” “I didn’t have any friends. People would push me around, say they were going to beat me up after school, chase me. It was miserable, my whole schooling—miserable. I tried to be friends with people, but I didn’t fit in. So I kept myself to myself.
      • Eva Mendes says she was an easy target for bullies because she was gawky and had big teeth, One bully in particular “preyed on the fact that I was so scared and would avoid her,” Mendes told HLN. “It was torture.” Bullies tortured me all through junior high school It was miserable. She was so fearful she couldn’t turn to her parents or school administrators. “It was torture.””I literally had to deal with it on my own. At the time I couldn’t understand why they kept taunting me and it took me two years to figure out how to do that.”  When I realized  that I was showing them my fear and that’s what they were pouncing on   she confronted and stood up to her tormentors and the bullying stopped.
      • Mila Kunis was bullied in school because of her “funny face.” Kids would make fun of her big eyes and lips.
      • Rihanna says that she has been teased her entire life.   The pop star says she is grateful for these struggles because they made her stronger. ” “What they were picking on I don’t even understand. “Now I’m in a much bigger world.
      • Miley Cyrus talks about three  who bullied her by making fun of her, sending her cruel notes, stealing her books and locking her in a school bathroom.  “Maybe they just smelled insecurity. Maybe that was why they singled me out.
      • Joanna Gaines– the Fixer Upper host  revealed that her insecurities stemmed from experiences she had in school.  “My mom is full Korean and my dad is Caucasian,” she said. “Kids in kindergarten would make fun of me for being Asian and when you’re that age you don’t know really how to process that; the way you take that is, ‘Who I am isn’t good enough.’ ”  Her discomfort reached its peak, though, after moving to a town in Texas and joining a new, much larger, school. “In the lunchroom everyone was a blur and I was thinking, ‘How do people do this? How do you find that one person to sit with?’ ” she said. “So I literally walked in the lunchroom and walked out and went into the bathroom. My fear and my insecurities just took over and I felt like I’d way rather sit in the stall than get rejected.”  The experience has stuck with the Fixer Upper star, who continues to teach her kids to make friends with those who seem to need it. “I always tell my kids to look for that kid on the playground who’s not playing with anybody, to go reach out, ask them their name, to look for the kid in the lunchroom who isn’t sitting by anybody, be their friend,” she said. “That experience grounded me in that I want to look for the lonely, the sad, the people who aren’t confident, because that’s not where they’re supposed to stay.
      • Jessica Alba may be a successful, beautiful actress, but the Sin City star was bullied in high school. Alba said she got picked on because she was an awkward child with buck teeth and a Texas accent.  “I was bullied so badly my dad used to have to walk me into school so I didn’t get attacked.” “I’d eat my lunch in the nurse’s office so I didn’t have to sit with the other girls. Apart from my being mixed race, my parents didn’t have money, so I never had the cute clothes or the cool backpack.”
      • Jennifer Lawrence said that her bullying became so bad that she switched schools to get away from some mean girls.  She has some advice for dealing with the mean people. “Don’t worry about the b–ches— could be a good motto, because you will come across people like that throughout your life.”
      • Taylor Swift says that her junior high bullies gave her the inspiration to start writing songs.
      • Tom Cruise struggled with reading, which made him an easy target for bullies. had a lonely childhood. “I had no really close friend,” he revealed in an interview in 2012. “I was always the new kid with the wrong shoes, the wrong accent. I didn’t have a friend to share things with and confide in.” Tom Cruise has visceral memories of being picked on. “So many times, the big bully comes up, pushes me. Your heart’s pounding, you sweat and you feel like you’re going to vomit. I don’t like bullies.”
      • Madonna says that the boys at her school used to bully her and call her a “hairy monster.”
      • Blake Lively- “Kids used to make fun of me in elementary school by calling me Big Bird (because I was ‘too tall’ and had ‘yellow’ hair).
      • Kate Middleton– according to the headmistress at her school says that the Duchess of Cambridge was bullied for two terms over her  reputation “as quite a soft and nice person.”
      • Emily Blunt- stutters. (Married to John Krasinski  of the Office
      • Steven Spielberg was bullied for being a “nerd” in school.
      • Kristen Stewart says kids her own age “were mean and didn’t give you a chance.”  (People who stuttered and became singers…. )
      • Brittany Snow  – Pitch Perfect 2 star   started an organization called Love is Louder to help kids through bullying and depression  Being a victim herself. “When I was younger, I was bullied daily,” she told PEOPLE. “I know what it’s like to feel alone and outcast.”
      • Megan Fox said that she faced constant bullying at school. Her advice: You just have to remember the person picking on you has their own problems and their own issues. And you’re going to be OK.
      • Avril Lavigne was bullied because of her big glasses, her hair and her tomboy clothes. They also called her “Vampire Lady” because of her teeth.
      • Michael Phelps was tormented by bullies who mocked him for his hyperactive personality and big ears and  his long arms   The swimmer went on to use those long limbs to win several gold medals.    The future Olympic legend wore hats much of the time to conceal the size of his ears, Phelps’ mother told Yahoo Sports.He gets a little taste of revenge when he visits his hometown and encounters his tormentors. “They’ll try to talk to me and I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, why are talking to me now? You were picking on me then.'”
      • Tyra Banks was bullied in school for being a “bean pole.” She later used her tall, thin physique to create an extremely successful modeling career.
      • Eminem was frequently bullied for being an outsider.  “I was beat up in the bathrooms, in the hallways, shoved in the lockers
      • Lady Gaga said she was mercilessly bullied in school for being different.  “Being teased for being ugly, having a big nose, being annoying,” she told Rolling Stone. “‘Your laugh is funny, you’re weird, why do you always sing, why are you so into theater, why do you do your make-up like that?'”  “I used to be called a s—, be called this, be called that, I didn’t even want to go to school sometimes.
      • Elon Musk was relentlessly bullied as a child  for being the  smallest guy in his school,   “It’s pretty rough in South Africa,” she told Esquire. “If you’re getting bullied, you still have to go to school. You just have to get up in the morning and go. He hated it so much.”  Musk’s first wife, Justine, said, “I don’t think people understand how tough he had it growing up. He was a really lonely kid.”
      • Pierce Brosnan was made fun of for his Irish accent while he was at school.
      • Prince Harry was bullied for his red hair when he was young.
      • Ben Hooper- 1870-1957 governor of Tennessee  was born out of wedlock, yet he was not going to go trudging through life with his head bowed in meek submission; he was a lad determined to be the best in his class in defiance of his detractors.  “Instead of my supposed handicap generating an inferiority complex, it motivated a spirit of ambition and determination that furnished the impetus to carry me over many a hill in my young days. I began to understand that sensible people might appraise a man upon his character and attainments rather than upon the accident of birth or the merits of his antecedents. This possibility furnished a great incentive to effort.”   And effort he made. Ben attended public schools, graduated from Carson-Newman College in 1890, became a lawyer, entered the world of politics, and eventually rose to the office of governor.
      • “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
      • I’m always more motivated by the negative comments than by positive ones. I know what I do well. Tell me what I don’t do well.
      • Listen to the critics, but listen most carefully to those who spoke up when the sun was shining.
      • For more: google: famous people who were bullied
      • Jesus said to pray for those who mistreat us

      JEALOUSY

      • Bella Hadid said this to those who were saying ugly things about her “Jealousy is a cry for help that I wish I could help you with.”  (Side: Let your conduct be without covetness; be content with such things as you have. Heb 13:5  In other words appreciate exactly what you have. )  Glamour is celebrating what we have, instead of what we long for–Actress Isabella Rossellini
      • The more beauty we find in someone else’s journey, the less we’ll want to compare it to our own.

      HATE

      • The deepest desires come from the deadliest hate. -Socrates.
      • Don’t hate. It’s too big a burden to bear. – Martin Luther King, Sr.
      • A hateful act is the transference to others of the degradation we bear in ourselves- Simone Weil
      • The worst, the least curable hatred is that which has superseded love. -Euripides
      • Hatred is self-punishment- Hosea Ballow
      • The  secret: The way to defeat hate is love.

      LONELINESS

      •  Tom Cruise, Elon Must and Joanna Gaines were lonely (See under bullies)
      • The best way to have a friend is to be one.

      Dinner guest-

      • Bring a gift to the dinner host.
      • Put your dirty dishes in the sink and jump in to help clean up! They may decline your help, but at least make the effort.
      • Overnight guest
        • Keep your bathroom clean. don’t leave water all over the bathroom.
        • Don’t run the water forever
        • After a shower, wipe it down….hang wet towels on the drying rack over the tub
        • Don’t chatter endlessly- do something quietly when your host is trying to read the newspaper
        • When your host drives you somewhere pay for the parking and lunch.
        • Take the hosts out to dinner at least once for every couple of nights you are there.
        • Wear footsies or socks around the house that are quiet, rug-saving and so you aren’t tracking in dirt.
        • Keep your bed made
        • When you leave neatly fold the extra blankets for storing and tidy up the guest room where you stayed
        • Use your own cell phone
        • Give your host and hostess a nice gift for their kind hospitality. Afterall, they saved you the cost of a hotel and maybe a rental car for each day you stay.
        • (From Dear Abby Sunday May 16, 1993)

        LIVING WITHIN YOUR MEANS’ VS ‘LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS’

      • Buying on credit is not ‘living within your means’. Those who believe they ‘live within their means’ simply because they are able to make the monthly payments on their debt, could find their financial situation quickly changed due to a divorce, job loss, the economy tanks or some catastrophic illness. There may be little discretionary spending to cut back on especially for those who say they find it impossible to save money. Spend what you need, not what you can afford.
      • When just starting out, those who live ‘below their means’, typically reap the benefits of their savings long before retirement age and are more likely to become millionaires than those who don’t.  ‘Living below ones means’ is the key! Spending more money than you take in leads to self-made poverty.
      • Yet, pop media and culture have convinced many people that to be wealthy means living a fancy, high end life, while being frugal is admitting economic failure. Because nobody wants to be seen as an economic failure, many spend their money the way they mistakenly assume the wealthy do. Like a peacock flashing his tail to be admired, many people like to give the semblance of affluence.
      • While someone  driving a high-end Mercedes Benz gives the appearance  of making a lot of money, in reality high end earners who spend heavily, often have very little wealth. Should they lose their source of income they may be worse off than the poor.
      • Many who prize “things” more than financial security  are often up to their necks in debt, careening toward disaster, in an attempt to impress others who most likely don’t care.
      • Purchasing short-term extravagances doesn’t build the same wealth as putting money into items with lasting value.
      • There is a big difference between looking rich and being wealthy.
      • There are people who make $250,000 and are in debt. Believing they don’t have a ‘reason’ to budget, their standard-of-living often matches their income. They “throw money away with both hands”  buying whatever they want, then have to scrimp on other things.     Don’t let your standard-of-living match what you have in your pocket.
      • Dave Ramsey reminds us “Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses because they are broke.”
      • There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth. -Proverbs 13:7
      • A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.  Proverbs 11: 28
      • Although roughly 1:10 households in the US are millionaires,  you can NOT assess a person’s financial status by observing how he or she lives.  Millionaires often do not look, dress, eat or act like most folks preconceived idea of a millionaire as their ego is not fed by the appearance of wealth.
      • While some Americans  believe frugality has to do with being poor,  the reality is that a surprising number of wealthy people are frugal,  while many poor people are not.  Being frugal is not the same as being cheap, greedy or poor. * The wealthy didn’t get that way by wasting their money.  They tend to know the value of a dollar and are often frugal by choice, rather than necessity. The authors of the book ‘The Millionaire Next Door’ explain that from their research, frugality is commonly found to exist in about 94% of all American Millionaires.
      • Often poor people simply have poor ways. Let’s say for example someone with no money management skills receive a bit of extra money, or a financial windfall, (an insurance check for thousands of dollars)  and “run with their hair on fire” splurging and  buying things until they blow it all.
      • Money provides a way to take care of your family now, and in the future. A job loss when one has money in the bank to fall back on is less stressful  when one knows they they won’t be  running up debt within a month  trying to  keep  up with bills. The feeling of  security makes it easier to sleep  at night.
      • Don’t save just for the purpose  of living larger in retirement than you do in your younger days. There’s no guarantee you’ll be healthy enough  or even live to retirement to appreciate the extra money. Once your youth and vitality are gone, all the money in the world won’t buy it back. life is too short to live a pathetic sad life to save a buck.   There isn’t a special prize for skimping on the nicer toilet paper or other life’s pleasures and dying a millionaire, so enjoy yourself a little bit while you can.   Life is about having balance between living and saving and not going to extremes.   Find the balance that works for you.  Live frugally but don’t over do it. Spend some, save some. You won’t regret   spending a little more money doing things when you could have. Don’t miss some killer opportunities over just a few hundred dollars that in the big scheme of things  won’t make much difference.

      DEBT –  CREDIT-  LOANS

      • Living beyond your means makes for a poor lifestyle and will make you genuinely poor.  It is not the high cost of living, but the cost of living high.
      • Debt is proof of greed. It is the opposite of giving. Debt is emptying your future to fill up your present. Giving is emptying your present to fill up your future.
      • Save when you are young to spend and live comfortably when you are old.
      • Either buckle down and have something when you are older or spend now and continue to struggle later.
      • The devil is in the details. Look closely. Ask questions. Then, look closer.
      • True wealth is living simply-enjoying experiences over things. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money cannot buy.
      • Never borrow if you can possibly help it. Never play a game of chance. (Don’t gamble on anything. Making debt is gambling that life is going to just go along as it has been so you will be able to repay it. That doesn’t always happen.)
      • Proverbs 22:7: “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”
      • Pay off your credit card debt first, since interest on consumer debt isn’t tax deductible like it is on a house. To get rid of credit card debt  faster add as much as you can to your payment each month to get the  balance paid off sooner. Once rid of it   pay toward your mortgage the money you had been sending to the credit card company. (Be very sure you tell the mortgage company each time you send in extra to “pay it toward principal.” Black Enterprise Oct  2010 stated you must attach a separate check for the extra payment to a letter detailing you want the money applied to the principal and which loan to apply it to; otherwise it will go to the interest, which is the typical policy of most lending institutions.)   You gain peace of mind by having a paid off home. There is nothing like owning your home free and clear.
      • If your credit card’s interest rate is 15% and you owe $5,000, your monthly charge is $63. Pay off that debt and you’ll save $750 a year, which is equivalent to $5,000 earning 15% in an investment. -Reader’s Digest
      • Putting unnecessary things on credit cards is borrowing trouble.
      •  People who are  unaware of the many tricks  credit card companies use  to keep them in debt, may refinance their house to pay off credit cards and other loans when they get in a bit of a pinch and end upside down on their home. A REALLY BAD MOVE This has been known to lead to foreclosure.  
      • Most houses appreciate and cars depreciate –  so pay off house first.
      • Listen to Dave Ramsey and learn to have no debt.
      • Owe no man anything. Romans 13:8
      • Study to learn secrets of the rich (The Millionaire Next Door is a good book to read.)
      • Live close to work.  Because if you wear out a car every few years driving back and forth to work and thus have to buy a new vehicle it would have been much smarter to keep the same car longer and use the money you save on car payments, gasoline,  tires, etc (that goes down in value) to pay toward a home closer to work as they don’t lose their value and may make you money if they go up in value, as most do!) What you save in gas and car repairs pay toward principal on your house mortgage  and build in equity in your home.
      • Nothing in life is free and you do pay taxes on forgiven debt. If you ‘short sale’ your house or lose it you will pay taxes on the ‘forgiven’ debt. OUCH!
      • Buy a fixer upper for your first home
      • Don’t spend more than you can pay off at the end of the month.
      • Living on less than one earns allows one to save in order to pay cash for big ticket items,  such as a  home and  furnishings to avoid going in debt by using credit. Millionaires who see  debt as wasteful don’t use credit cards or  borrow money to buy possessions they don’t absolutely need.  When they do use a credit card they  pay it off that month to avoid  paying interest.
      • Check your FICO scores and work to get a better FICO score in order to receive better interest rates when you borrow for a house or car. (That will allow you to pay less each month than  someone with a bad score…so you have more money to spend on other things.)
      • If you can’t afford to save money each month to half 1/2 to put down on something, what makes you think you will be able to afford to make payments when you have monthly payments? (The Litmus Test)
      • The fastest way to be poor is to pretend to be rich. Less is more.

      The paid-off mortgage has become the new status symbol over the BMW in the driveway. – Dave Ramsey

      ANGER

      • Anger will kill you. Let it go. Give it up to God.
      • When you are full of anger take that energy and do something productive. Don’t get mad; get even by getting busy and plowing that anger and your energy into something positive.
      • Worry, sadness, stress and anger can worsen pain. So can obesity.  Chronic pain can worsen worry, sadness, stress anger an obesity.
      • Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.Dr. Chérie Carter Scott
      • Anger and hatred are the real enemies that we must confront and defeat, not the ‘enemies’ who appear from time to time in our lives.The Dalai Lama
      • Among my most prized possessions are words I have not spoken in anger.
      • It is easier to leave angry words unspoken than to mend a heart these words have broken. Rosemary Vangen
      • If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will save a thousand days of sorrow. Chinese proverb
      • Anger is justifiable and an understandable reaction to being wronged and as the souls first effort to reassert its worth and power   may initially be healing. But in time anger becomes corrosive.  To live in bitterness is to be chained to the person who wounded you, your emotions and actions arising not independently, but in reaction to your abuser. You can become so obsessed with vengence that your life can become consumed by the quest for it. In bitterness you become as much a captive as if barbed wire surrounds you. This is why forgiveness is so liberating. Besides Deuteronomy 32:35 said vengence belongs to the Lord and he will repay them. (Romans 12:17-19 also has something good to tell us about it.)  Read a wonderful story about it here.

      FORGIVENESS- Letting go of the past and resentments See regrets and failure

      • Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love. —Gandhi
      • Forgiveness is key to happiness. Forgiveness doesn’t make you weak, it sets you free.
      • Forgiveness is key to the Kingdom of God and a key to happiness   Forgive others and yourself. While we can not   erase the past we have the choice to start this very  moment to make a brand new beginning –  to let go of suffering/the past and be happy  ―  Love keeps no record of being wrong.
      • Forgiveness is the greatest expression of love.
      • The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. Catherine Ponder (The mystery of forgiveness.)
      • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” —Ghandi
      • Talking about someone without bitterness who treated you badly happens when you forgive.
      • Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” —Mark Twain
      • While the act of forgiveness is one of the most difficult things life asks of us, it is one of the most necessary-mentally, spiritually, even physically.  It makes you healthier, happier and deepens your relationship with God. Forgiveness is a skill you can develop and practice like any other.
      • Forgive. Focus on the future, not the past.
      • Forgiveness changes the present, not the past.
      • Forgiveness is a personal choice.
      • Forgiveness is not about changing the person who hurt you or condoning their actions or even reconciling with them. Its a choce you make to heal yourself.
      • We’ve all been broken at some point. Forgiving ourselves or another person helps us move forward. – Julia Roberts
      • This is a wonderful story: https://www.guideposts.org/better-living/positive-living/finding-our-way-to-forgiveness
      • Pray Psalm 29:11 with a twist, “Lord give strength to this person who hurt me; Lord bless this person with peace.” You can’t go wrong praying for the good of others!
      • When you are feeling bad be thankful for something and let someone know. It feels better than resentment. Send “Caught in the act of caring” notes to those you see being kind.
      • Giving kindness is the antidote to the poison of resentment.
      • If you don’t want resentment to rule your life, forgive. It is how you show your love for God in return for the unending love He gives you.
      • Count your blessings instead of your grievances. As soon as you stop counting your grievances you can see your blessings. Let go of the pain and embrace the future.
      • There is a healing power in forgiveness.  Research shows that the act of forgiving can lead to better overall health. Forgiveness is associated with stress relief, lower heart rate, decreased blood pressure, a reduction in physical complaints , such as aches and pains, improved sleep quality and strengthened spirituality. The reverse is also true. Holding on to resentment can lead to higher blood pressure, muscle tension and depression. the person who forgives and the person who is forgiven aren’t the only ones who benefit. There’s a ripple effect. Those who forgive are also much more likely to volunteer or donate to charity. –Guideposts magazine
      • A love that forgives Luke 23:34 Father, forgive them for they know now what they do. (Forgive them as you have forgiven me.) We are given that love in order to forgive what seems unforgivable and release our burdens to  Him. Forgive me for harboring any resentment and not coming to you sooner.
      • An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. —Ghandi
      • The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. —John E. Southard
      •   When I choose to imagine someone’s pain/perspective I lose my appetite for anger. —Unknown
      • You can’t start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one.-Unknown
      • It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.
      • Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.Let forgiveness be part of your journey toward reconciliation.
      • Forgiveness is a form of gratitude. When we forgive others, we show them the mercy that we have often received and been thankful for.  Sarah Ban Breathnach
      • When you forgive someone, you are as close to God as you will ever be, because in that forgiveness you are demonstrating the very heart of God. Max Lucado
      • A grudge is one thing that does not get better when it is nursed. Kathleen H. Burks
      • Saints have a past. Sinners have a future.
      • When we can accept our humanity and the perpetrator’s, we can write a new story, one in which we are no longer cast as a victim but as a survivor, even perhaps a hero. Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu
      • Learning to fail well means overcoming our natural instincts to blame someone whenever something goes wrong. People fail best when they err on the side of forgiveness. Megan McArdle
      • Earth is Forgiveness School.Anne Lamott
      • Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their actions. Forgiveness stops their actions from destroying your heart.Karen Salmansohn
      • Never forget the three powerful resources you have always available to you: love, prayer and forgiveness.H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
      • Forgiving one’s enemies does not mean to be fainthearted, but to have a strong soul. Italian proverb
      • Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin.Desmond Tutu
      • Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant.Rick Warren
      • TGIF: Thank God I’m Forgiven!
      • Forgiveness is the greatest expression of love.submitted by Guideposts reader Patti Stull, Dover, Ohio
      • God’s alternative to revenge is not truce or standoff or cold war or isolationism. It’s forgiveness.author Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
      • Forgiveness isn’t so much an action as a process, one that demands vigilance and commitment.Edward Grinnan
      • Personal change begins with self-forgiveness, and self-forgiveness depends on our capacity to love ourselves.Edward Grinnan
      • Forgiveness creates instant growth and change, because it clears out the negative drag of the past.Edward Grinnan
      • If you want to live a long and happy life, then you must be willing to forgive the unforgivable. It is truly the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be freed from this burden!Dorothy Murfin
      • It’s simple: When you haven’t forgiven those who’ve hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
        Tyler Perry
      • Only the truly magnanimous and strong are capable of forgiving and loving.Kim Dae Jung
      • Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.Lewis B. Smedes
      • Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.David Jeremiah
      • Forgiveness is the power that enlivens relationships. Forgiveness keeps life moving forward, creates harmony and makes you spiritually strong. Maoshing Ni, M.D.
      • True forgiveness does not even remember the injury.Two Seekers
      • Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim.Desmond Tutu
      • “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
      •  Forgiveness is liberating. MAYBE YOU WERE SOMEONE (OR YOU KNOW SOMEONE) WHO SUFFERED THE CRUELTY OF ABUSE. Former POWs beaten and traumatized, their dignity destroyed were left feeling defenseless and frightened with  a pervasive sense of shame, helplessness and worthlessness  in a world that had become menacing. The loss of self-woth makes its pain particularly devastating.  Yet, those who forgave their captors, found that forgiveness seemed to follow a return of dignity.  Forgiveness is a complex, elusive mystery.For Louie Zamperini the  conviction that he was forsaken was gone, replaced by a belief that Divine love had been all around him, even at his darkest moments. The bitterness and pain that had haunted him vanished. From Louie’s life one beautiful, undeniable truth:   Even when a man suffers the most soul-shattering of abuses, even when he seems hopelessly bound by resentment, forgiveness can still find him and set him free.   Resurrect your dignity by seeing yourself, not as the wretched creature that someone tried to make you , but as the object of God’s infinite love. Your self respect and sense of power reborn, you will  finally have the strength to let go of your hatred. Read the whole story: https://www.guideposts.org/inspiration/miracles/gods-grace/louie-zamperini-the-power-of-forgiveness      See Anger
      • Forgiveness allows you to reclaim the strong, capable person God made you to be.
      • When the worst things happen they can bring out the best in people.

      SELF CONFIDENCE

      • Stop looking around at others assuming you know their status. You don’t. And all you do is work yourself into a frenzy by thinking that someone else has it better or easier. They might just be ‘acting’ rich. Some use their money wisely instead of blowing it and thus, have less stress as they can pay their bills.
      • You will always be your own victim, if you can’t restrain yourself.
      • Make more of what you have and less of what you don’t have.

      SELF TALK  Self worth

      • Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”-Stephen Covey
      • Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.” -Arthur Christopher Benson
      • Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
      • Self-compassion rather than self-esteem may be the key to unlocking your potential for greatness. Self-compassion is a willingness to look at mistakes with understanding –embracing the fact that to err is indeed human- Heidi Grant Halvorson. (See failure)
      • How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
      • Love is the only game that two can play and both win.     (See forgiveness)
      • Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
      •  It is passion, not pedigree, that can and will win in the end. Free yourself from comparison. Just because someone has fancy sneakers doesn’t mean they can run faster. –Jon Bon Jovi
      • Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer
      • “Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination.” – Mae Jemison
      • Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” — Ellen DeGeneres
      • You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.”- Michael Jordan
      • Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”-Mary Kay Ash
      • “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
      • The sooner you stop comparing yourself to others the more attention you get to put on yourself.- Brooke Shields.
      • Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” — Stephen Covey
      •  Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” – Howard Thurman or also said this way: Ask not what the world needs; ask what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. —Howard Thurman
      • “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.”–Dr. Seuss
      • Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” – Milton Erickso
      • If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. – Booker T. Washington
      • Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. —Sarah Bernhardt
      • The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. —John Milton

      CAREGIVER / Caretaker

      • Caring for a loved one and despite the stress involved, men and women who put in the most time taking care of a spouse cut their own risk of dying by 36% overa seven year period.  Aiding a loved one may release the “bonding” hormone, oxytocin, countering cortisol, a stress hormone that can raise blood pressure and interfere with regulation of the immune system, the scientists speculate.
      • Anyone who has the opportunity to care for a parent will never regret doing so. It’s your best opportunity to say thank you. -Actor Robert Forster, of What They Had, on his personal experiences.
      • Video: The Heart of a Caregiver Tribute to the unsung heroes who commit their lives to provide loving care, healing and support for others during difficult times.
      • Some Grief Share allows caregivers and people who have other grief to join.

      HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER

      • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.
      • Health benefits of laughter
      • Laughter is proven to be healing
      • Studies reveal that cancer patients who laugh live longer. Just laugh and you will feel the difference in  your body. -from A Book of Miracles: Inspiring True Stories of Healing, Gratitude and Love by Bernie S  Siegel, M.D.
      • Always laugh when you can. It’s cheap medicine- Lord Byron
      • Silliness relaxes you and gives you perspective.
      • Living hilariously is part of living abundantly. It’s something we were meant to do.
      • We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.
      • Laugh for happiness.  Video: Laughter is a Great Vacation
      • Video: Empty Pickle Jar  every day is a gift and the quality of your life is your gift to yourself. If you spend all your time and energy stressing out over the small stuff, you’ll never have room for the things that make you happy.
      • Happy is what we make it. Seize the day.
      • Happiness never decreases by being shared,
      • Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, yet the life of the first candle will not be shortened.
      • Happiness isn’t a condition; its a decision.
      • Happiness depends upon ourselves.  Aristotle
      • To find happiness, find gratitude.
      • It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no  scar to show for happiness. – Chuck Palahniuk, novelist
      • Pain is inevitable. Misery is choice.
      • If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it. – Immanuel Hermann von Fichte
      • Everyone is carrying the same burdens, the same woes one way or another. We have more in common than we know. A TSA agent told Peggy Noonan, columnist.
      • Video: Finding Joy Life can be complicated but happiness is really pretty simple.
      • Video: The Road to Happiness    Learning to find inner contentment in any situation.
      • Guaranteed road to happiness Video: Paid in Full. The Secret to Living is Giving
      • When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us- Helen Keller
      • The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do.- James M. Barrie
      • Happiness is a way of travel-not a destination. – Roy M. Goodman
      •   Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. —Thich Nhat Hanh
      • The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. —don Miguel Ruiz
      •  Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions. —Tony Robbins
      • When I’m lookng in hte mirror, I’m looking at the problem and I’m also looking at the solution, and the buck stops with me. – Jamie Lee Curtis
      •  Positive people don’t need an outside push; they seemingly have a natural internal push that continually pulls them forward. —Unknown
      •  You must choose between your attachments and happiness. —Adyashanti
      •  Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. —Unknown
      •  Not only is the kingdom of heaven within, but the kingdom of Hell is within as well – it’s your choice. —Unknown
      •  What we feel is not based on our experience, but on our INTERPRETATION of experiences. —Anthony Robbins

      MEMORIES

      • Collect memories, Not Stuff. Stop buying trinkets that give you momentary pleasure. Rather, make memories that will last a lifetime. Travel and visit as many places as  you can, reconnect and build friendships, and take plenty of photos along the way. Memories have given me much more long-lasting happiness than any physical object can bring!  – SriramSridhar    See Gifts of Experience
      • “Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it.
      • Memories are sweet, cherish them”- Unknown
      • “Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” -Doug Ivester
      •  “I am not my memories. I am my dreams.” – Terry Hostetler

      CREATIVITY AND IMAGINATION

      • Boldness to get things done without feeling guilty.- To be more creative to do something you don’t think you can do- Imagine you are someone else or in a different situation. – An eccentric poet, for example. Creativity is not an individual trait, but a malleable product of context and perspective. Ideas get drowned out because most of us spend too much time worrying about how successful or unsuccessful we will be and how little we are focusing on the task.  – unknown
      • Make bold moves, knowing that some will work and some won’t . Or make no moves, which guarantees that you will be an also-ran.
      • You can’t move mountains by whispering at them.
      • Creativity is intelligence having fun. ~ Albert Einstein
      • Scripture says you should put aside childish things when you grow up- willfulness, self-centeredness;  not imagination, creativity and joyful curiosity. Keep a child’s heart. Be unafraid to lead a happy life.
      • “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” – Albert Einstein
      • “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
      • “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Pablo Picasso
      • “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

      MONEY, INHERITANCE AND SUCCESS

      • Don’t always let your kids have something they ask for. Learning they have to wait for what they want helps them grow up to be more adaptable,  cooperative adults. Creative Deprivation.
      • Andrew Carnegie said, “The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth.” Cornelius Vanderbilt said, “Inherited wealth is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality.” Henry Ford stated, “Fortunes tend to self-destruction by destroying those who inherit them.” “An inheritance quickly gained at the beginning will not be blessed at the end” (Proverbs 20:21, NIV). Wise parents can leave enough to their children and grandchildren to be helpful without leaving them so much as to hurt them.  Leave your children only enough to be of modest assistance, but not enough to change their lifestyles or undercut their need to plan and pray. Give your kids just  enough money to do something, not enough to do nothing. (The movie The Descendants)  You are not “entitled”. (Peter Buffet, on his billionaire father Warren’s refusal to help in a financial hardship: It is an act of love to say, “I believe in you as my child, and you don’t need my help.” It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. – Ann Landers   Trying to buy  love never works. Children who are overindulged and undisciplined invariably are insecure and unhappy. They may present self-centeredness and obnoxiousness. When she reaches adulthood she will expect all males to cater to her as her parent did.
      • Everyone would be proud to have a thoughtful son like: this from Nov 4, 2012 unlike this one or this one.  And the followup here when you scroll down to where it says “sad dad”.
      • Percy Ross gave his money away before he died and we, as your parents, have that right, too.
      • Success is a journey not a destination.The only way to be truly successful is to help other people become successful.  Labor not to be rich but to help the poor.  With riches one inherits obligations. Don’t focus on money. ( See Proverbs 23:4) Affluence changes people. Too much money is not good for the soul.   ~ Hoagland
      • I have begun everything with the idea that I could succeed, and I never have much patience with the multitudes of people who are always ready to explain why one cannot succeed. Booker T. Washington

      Evil-

      •  Evil is the absence of good, or better, evil is the absence of God. God did not have to create evil, but rather only allow for the absence of good. God did not create evil, but He does allow evil.

      CHARACTER

      • Money is power-power for good, power for evil, accordingly as it is used. Power is a test–the test of character.
      •  Self-worth is determined by your character, not by you having the right shoes.
      • Sports don’t build character; they reveal it.
      • Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. – Abraham Lincoln
      • What you do makes you what you are.
      • You can speak with spiritual eloquence, pray in public, and maintain a holy appearance…but it is your behavior that will reveal your true character. – Steve Maraboli
      • Destiny- Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your DESTINY.
      • It cost $0.00 to be a decent person.
      • A pretty face means little if you have an ugly heart.
      • Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Do be impressed by kindness, integrity, humility and generosity.
      • ctrl “f’ here for character.

       

      HOUSE

      •  Don’t buy a home based on what a Realtor says you can afford. Realtors are not money experts, by any means. They are simply sales people, making a commission of what they can sell you!  If you buy as much as they tell you that you can possibly afford when unexpected expenses  pop up, which they will (the air conditioning goes out, you will need a new roof, hot water tank, lawn mower for example) you need to have reserves set aside for that and won’t have if you are paying every extra penny toward the house payment.

       

      Inconsiderate grown up: here.

      1/2/2014

      Dear Amy: Our 27-year-old daughter has a well-paying job and a sports car parked in the garage of her new home (with pool), which we have only seen in pictures.

      Our calls go to her voice mail and are not returned. Since she started college we have seen her only a few times. Unless she wants money, we hear from her only right before her birthday or Christmas to “remind us.”

      We send her a nice check. We don’t get a thank you or any communication most of the time. Over the years we have done quite a bit for her, but we don’t rate an e-mail or call for our own birthdays or other occasions.

      Money is extremely important to her and she spends it liberally on herself. We are savers and do not live above our means.

      She knows she will inherit a nice amount some day and has bragged several times that she loves being the only child because she gets so much more that way. We lived our lives around her schedule, giving her things while not splurging on ourselves. Now we are cut out of her life.

      I wonder what we “owe” her. My wife thinks we must continue on as we have and insists we must leave her a large inheritance. I think things need to change, but I am not sure where to start. — Sad Dad

      Dear Dad: Things do need to change. You and your wife should discuss this, ideally with a neutral third party such as a professional counselor (and financial planner).

      Your daughter excels at taking care of herself. You two should start to value and love yourselves more. This means making choices about your spending and inheritance that will satisfy and reflect your own values. You might want to spend down the inheritance over time by supporting local causes.

      Write to your daughter and let her know that you would love to know her better as a person, but that the money spigot is being turned off. I realize this is potentially heartbreaking because she is your only child, but once money is off the table, you will discover what — if anything — is left.

      See comment: here. It is the bottom of the next to last one in the column under Sad Dad.  Amy points out this is neglect coupled with entitlement
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      CHILDREN

      • If kids know the rules and break them they see they made their own decision to lose privileges.
      • Give children responsibility and allow them to participate in decision making at home as much as their abilities allow. This encourages them to make their own judgments about things and helps them become  adults “who don’t simply go along with society, but who have the courage and internal strength to look at a situation and say, This isn’t right.
      • Parents who lay a strong foundation by disciplining them early  won’t have to fix the cracks later.
      • Family that works together and prays together, stays together. (Building a house together give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.)
      • Adversity adds character and compassion. Children who know poverty may only have only one bike to share (if any at all) so if it breaks they figure out how to fix it. Then they learn how to fix other items such as their car. They gain mechanical skills early on which can be a real blessing in life.
      • Children possess the power to influence the welfare of others –both positively and negatively. If children are treated harshly and punitively you cannot expect them to learn values and character. Instead,  focus on the positive and reward kids for doing what is desirable, rather than punishing them for undesirable actions.
      • Video: To a Child Love is Spelled T-I-M-E  encourages parents to make time for what’s most important in life.
      • Your kids will never remember how much you made but what you were.
      • When you have your own kids and want them to listen to you, don’t yell at them.  Whisper so they have to lean in. It also works with adults.
      • My grandparents didn’t have a lot as the money they did have they shared with as many people as they could by taking in kids who didn’t have a place to go. They had to save change to buy us a Christmas gift. I will always remember the gifts they gave me. One year it was pencils with my name imprinted, another year it was a heart shaped necklace and another year a book bag.
      • Teachers today abjure competition. The fact remains that if nothing is at stake, effort disappears.

      TEACHING

      • The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.-  H.L. Mencken
      • A teacher isn’t someone who teaches something but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover that she already knows.- Paulo Coelho
      • Teach them the quiet words of kindness, to live beyond themselves. Urge them toward excellence, drive them toward gentleness, pull them deep into yourself, pull them upward toward manhood, but softly like an angle arranging clouds. Let your spirit move through them softly. – Pat Conroy
      • See kindness

      SIMPLE WAYS TO HELP KIDS LEARN

      • Flash cards are good for vocabulary
      • Flash cards are fun for the older child to teach the younger. Teach them jingles to learn and remember their address and mom’s phone number.
      • Don’t pay the restaurant check silently. Tell your kids about tax and how to figure the tip.
      • The brightest students don’t always get the best grades. For them, learning comes too easily and they never learn how to buckle down. Some put in less time at the books than lower scoring classmates. Later in life students with high IQs sometimes don’t do as well as classmates with lower IQs. (The simple reason is the C & D students aren’t afraid to think outside the box, while A students are good at taking direction /orders from others.)
      • If your child doesn’t like to read find a book about something he really likes and give it to him for his birthday or at the foot of his bed so he wakes up to it on Christmas Eve.
      •  Keep reading…If you understand what you are reading, you will be smarter than other kids.
      • Teaching your child to tie his shoes: Through the tunnel and make the bow, tie the loop and there you go.
      • A life long reader is a life long learner
      • Bring up a child with criticism and they grow up negative.
      • All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten Book by Robert Fulghum
      • I love you, darling and I want others to see how special you are.  A parent who  doesn’t  bother to teach their child right from wrong doesn’t love them very much. That kid will be hated by people. Who wants that to happen to someone you love? Plus, I don’t want people to think your parents had no social skills.
      • Find free things for kids google: freethingsfor kids    along with your city
      • listen and your baby will tell you what is wrong and what it needs

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      MOTHERS

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      PURPOSE- See Happiness  (See making a lot of friends and volunteering)

      • True happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. -Helen Keller
      • Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.–Robert Brault
      • Having purpose may help one cope with daily stress.
      • Our time on earth is short and we never know when it will end, so while we are here we need to live it to the fullest.
      • Eyes that see those falling behind and a heart to do something about it.
      • Every day try to do something for someone. Be caring. Tell someone they are beautiful or worthy, hold the hand of a dying person,   Remember your blessings everyday. Be nice. Take care of each other. Honor people.
      • The purpose of life is a life of purpose -Robert Byrne
      • Life is a test to determine where you will spend eternity. Other than our relationship with God, nothing lasts from this life. Give away what you don’t need.
      • If love is the answer, then do more of it. If you love only the people who are like you–who have the same values, the same economic  and educational background–you’re not really doing much except loving yourself. Rev. Rick Reynolds
      • Love humanity in spite of its shortcomings.
      • We are not here merely to make a living. We are here to enrich the world. —Woodrow Wilson
      •  A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. —Lou Holtz
      • Whether you KNOW it or not, ACCEPT it or not, with each moment that passes, you get closer to fulfilling your life’s purpose. —Dena Botbyl
      • Video: The Butterfly Effect One small thing we do can have far reaching consequences; good or bad. Live a life of permanent purpose.  Calculate the consequences of every possible decision. “Think it through.”
      • Be decisive. Right or wrong or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision,
      • Don’t try to be perfect or “strain after the unattainable” or “postulate the unknowable.” Don’t assume that life has too much purpose. “What is the end of human life except the enjoyment of it?
      • Be present. Engaged. The feeling of being useful…we find our sense of purpose.

      WORRY VS. PEACE

      • We lose the joy of living in the present when we worry about the future.
      • The only real antidote to worry is purposeful action in the direction of your goals.
      • Worry is the devil in our lives.
      • Worry clutters up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.
      • Worry is a bad habit, one where we steal from ourselves the peace of mind God’s grace is meant to provide.
      • Worry does not take away tomorrow’s trouble. It takes away today’s peace. Carole Brock
      • You can worry yourself to death, but silliness relaxes you and gives you perspective.
      •  To me faith means not worrying. Let your faith be bigger than your fears.
      • F.A.I.T.H.  (Facing All I Trust Him) As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can. —Julius Caesar
      • If you deal with the present, you don’t have to worry about the future.
      • In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry. Be happy. —Bobby McFerrin
      • Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing Whom to thank- Amish proverb.
      • If Christians understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. During.WWII there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing the prescribed hour for one minute to pray for the safety of England, its people and peace. This is now a group of people organizing the same in America.
      • Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God.
      •  Prayer is the time God has reserved for us when He can recalibrate our thinking and renew His peace in our mind an soul. – Jim Maxim, from 21 Days of Breakthrough Prayer
      • Control what you can. Pray about what you can’t. – Trent Shelton
      • The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His Almighty. -Corrie ten Boom   (Corrie, and her close family, managed to save an estimated 800 lives during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. During the War, her profound religious faith and belief in God’s plans gave her the bravery and resourcefulness to make it through situations worthy of a spy story. But it was after the war that she achieved her greatest accomplishment – forgiving her former enemies and teaching the world to do the same.)
      • Be prayerful in all things and ask someone to pray in agreement with you  for Wisdom, strength and peace and awareness of what God wants you to do.  (Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye  shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:   For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7–8)
      • Ask God for strength for help in rising above the circumstances.
      • When we stop to pray,  God is already ahead of us, waiting for us to catch up.

      Strength

      •  Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life for you to find a David within you.
      • Never grow a wishbone,  where your backbone ought to be. —Clementine Paddleford
      •  Whatever I fight weakens me. Whatever I cooperate with strengthens me. —Wayne Dyer
      •  I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. —Aristotle
      •  The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. —Joseph Campbell

      GRACE  and HOPE and confidence , See Faith

      • Video: Hope pure and simple Life gets busy, making it easy to lose hope. A message of God’s love & grace in the midst of even the toughest times.
      • I do not understand the mystery of grace–only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us. — Anne Lamott
      • Grace is a consequence of humility.
      • Sense of hope is the basic component of cheerfulness.
      •  “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” — Christopher Reeve
      • In facing the unknown, hope is as reasonable as despair.
      • Hope is heavy. The Bible carries it; an anchor for your soul.
      • Jesus experienced every negative emotion we go through.  He also defeated them all, which gives us hope and confidence to do the same. -Creflo Dollar
      • The loss of hope is the worst thing, You restore hope by helping people.
      • What an anchor is to a ship, hope is to the soul. Both ships and souls are kept safe by a firm, secure anchor that keeps holding despite turbulent winds and churning tides,
      • You will find God in the small moments when we are at our most human – imperfect, confused and longing for hope. That is where God will meet you. -unknown
      • The happiest people are fearless dreamers. They use their imaginations to create hope and possibility- Ian K. Smith, M.D.
      •  Let go and let God. —Unknown
      • God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. You were never not coming here. —Sufi poem
      •  Jesus didn’t say ‘follow Christians’. He said ‘follow me. Many people have a hard time believing in God, because they’ve seen people fall who profess to be Christians. We aren’t perfect, but He is.  We fall down but He gets us back up.
      •  There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. —Louis L’Amour
      •  Act, & God will act. —Joan of Arc
      •  When you let go of the need for any and all outcomes life becomes a creative magical adventure. —Deepak Chopra
      • Whatever is… is best. —Ella Wheeler Wilcox

      WHAT OTHERS THINK (Self-worth) See Rejection and Bullies

      • A lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
      • If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you’ll get the best.
      • Smart boss doesn’t want ‘yes’ men. Want those who make him look good by winning ideas/have innovative ideas.
      • Find the marvel in the mundane.
      • If you were offered four pencils to pay you for babysitting for an hour would you do it? That is the exact deal you get by blowing one hours worth of time on four pencils.
      • What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Henry Stanley Haskins, author
      • Humor is the shock  absorber of life; it helps us take the blows.
      • Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.
      • A lump in the oatmeal and a lump in a mattress are not the same as a lump in the breast. Learn to know the difference – R. Fulghum  (You don’t sweat the small stuff after  you lose your 11 month old baby to SIDS.
      • Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is the triumph of some enthusiasm – Emerson , a mover and shaker.

      FALLING IN LOVE

      • When two people fall in love, past and future disappear. —The Alchemist
      •  Be passionate in your love life, partaking of it as a feast and appreciating its small pleasures.

      TRUE LOVE

      • True love God already gave us. You are good enough, imperfect as you are. You have the love that completes you, the love that never fails, the truest love of all. God’s love, a love that never goes away. Open hearted, unconditional love. Love you can rely on.  God loves us without limits.
      •  Love means protection, adoration, mutual growth, & respect above all other things. Without this, love is an illusion, a confused attachment. —Dena Botbyl

      INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION  See Just do it and challenge, and jealousy

      • It does wonder for my own psyche to turn envy into inspiration. No matter how successful we become, we’re never above that. -Hillman Curtis
      • Video: Nature’s Inspiration Breathtaking! May the beauty, wonder, and the joy of nature always bring joy to your soul.
      • Video: Inspiration 365 Days a Year a brief selection of Zig Ziglar’s favorite inspirational quotes.
      • Video: Motivations Quotes The right words can engage the brain &  bring an idea to life
      • I think that 60 percent of inspiration is organization- fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi
      • You find inspiration in everything. IF you can’t, then you aren’t looking properly. -Paul Smith Fashion designer

      COURAGE

        • Video: Paper Airplane Thought-provoking story about vision, courage and a sixth grader’s unique response to a class project.
        • Courage can be a form of tenaciousness, a refusal to quit because you are tire, hurt, humiliated or emotionally broken. Courage is the ability to face what life throws in your path on a daily basis.
        • In times of crisis you have two options–running from God or turning to God– Bryan Bedford, CEO of Frontier Airlines.

        FOOLISHNESS / ACTING STUPID

        • “Don’t let a little a little fear or common sense stop you.” (When you are doing something foolish.)
        • Genius has limits, stupidity doesn’t.
        • Stupid is, as stupid does.
        • Stupid is knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.

        ON BUYING OR SELLING A HOME

        • As Baby Boomers continue to age there *will be more desire for single story (one level) homes and not the two-story McMansions. Buy up homes around 2,000 sq feet. Remodel them with nice amenities and you will do well.  (*All Baby Boomers will be 65 or older by Dec 31, 2029, which is only 10 years from Dec 31, 2019!)
        • Selling a home without a Realtor 

        PERSEVERANCE / PERSISTENCE (See Success)

        • Video: The Best Way Out is Always Through The power of perseverance! We all have doubts, fears and disappointments in our lives. During those times, we look for shots of inspiration and encouragement to get us through.
        • Persistence is the key  to unlock a world of possibilities!  If you’re determined nothing can stop you.
        • “The difference between winning and losing is most often not quitting.” – Walt Disney
        • In trying times, don’t quit trying.
        • “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” -William E. Channing
        • The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. -Abigail Adams
        • In every conflict there is an opportunity to serve God.
        • Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent. –Steve  Martin, Comedian
        • “Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate you are sure to wake up somebody.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
        • “Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth.” -Julie Andrews
        • “Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
        • ” The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”-Calvin Coolidge
        • Video: 212º The Extra Degree   At 211º water is hot. At 212º, it boils. And with boiling water, comes steam. And steam can power a locomotive. The one extra degree makes the difference.
        • Adversity builds character. It is also an experience, not a final act.   There are times in everyone’s life when something constructive is born out of adversity.
        • Don’t give up. A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to its job.
        • Never give up your passion.
        • Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.
        • Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” – Napoleon Hill
        • The harder the journey, the more glorious the victory.
        •  Before every victory there’s a battle to be fought. Before every sunrise one must live through the night.

        PATIENCE -Ctrl f

        The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.

        Patience is not about waiting, but how we act when things take longer than we expect.- Paul Coeho

         

        HOW TO STAY YOUNG

        • Try everything twice. On one woman’s tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:”Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!”
        • Whose heart isn’t young again at the sight of a child’s wonder and excitement?
        • No matter how hard you work, make sure you leave eonough room to have a good time.

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        Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations are not on this list but can be found here.

        Harvey Mackay

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        FAITH

        • Great strength comes from faith in God.
        • Faith does not make things easy–it makes them possible Bianca Olthoff, inspirational author
        • Hope is reborn in the form of faith, faith that God will take over, even if you can’t yet see how.
        • Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase ~Martin Luther King Jr.
        • Coincidence? Things happen for a reason. They are part of the journey.
        • When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught how to fly.- unknown
        • Our greatest debt caused by sin is erased by faith in God.
        • Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip.
        •   The most common way people give up  is by thinking they don’t have any power. Faith has transformative power.
        • The only true foundation there can be for anything in this world is solid faith.
        •  In a dark place your faith can be with you. Reach out to Him, He may be the  only one who know you are there. Feel  God’s presence. Trust Him with everything. Let it go.
        • That which was meant to leave you broken can be used by God to make you brave. -Nona Jones
        • Everything starts with faith. Faith causes us to see good things in the future, and because of this we develop a vision of success and prosperity in life. – Casey Treat
        • Is faith your first response or your last resort?
        • With wings of faith, you can rise and soar
        • Faith is the greatest resource we have for coping with tough times.
        • No matter how bad it is, it could always be worse. Be tough and plow through. Tanya Tucker’s Dad.
        • Love yourself for who you are and what God made you. Only then can you use your faith to chase your dreams.
        • If you hold on to your faith it will get you through.
        • When He calls us, He equips us.
        • Take one day at a time.
        • No mater how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.

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        GOALS/ DREAMS/ PASSION  (See also Success, Challenge yourself)

          • God has a plan for each of us.
          • Keep doing what you need to do, preparing for  and waiting on Gods timing. Nehemiah equipped his mind and heart to be ready for that opportunity to help his people rebuild Jerusalem which came in God’s time, not his.
          • “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” ~ Alan Kay
          •   “We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” – Earl Nightingale
          • Begin and God will do the rest.
          •  “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.”-Colin Powell
          • Man makes his plans, but God determines his steps. Proverbs.
          • God has plans for you to have what  you need, when you need it, to move up from where  you’ve been in life. Plans to give you hope and a future, just like the Bible says.
          • Reach for the stars.  Don’t let limitations define your goals. Lay out a strategy for reaching your goals, plot a time by which to reach them and plan ways to overcome likely problems.
          • Set goals to change yourself, and thus, your future.
          • When it comes to your dream–whatever they are–you gotta go for them. If you don’t, it’s an automatic ‘No!” With need to go get your ‘Yes’.
          • Give God your biggest dream, work hard and see how it all works out.
          • Nehemiah in the Bible faces great opposition- scorn, hatred, threats-yet he never let any of that sway him from his goal. He rallied his team to defend themselves against  attacks and continued rebuilding the wall, rebuilding t hem knowing that God was with them every step of the way.
          • Dreams–real dream –don’t come easily. Making them come true takes hard work.
          • Make your prayers so big, ask for things that go deep and seem impossible.
          • Think big, dream big, pray big and don’t listen to people who tell you it can’t be done.   The possibilities for the future are unlimited.- Normal Vincent Peale
          • Visionaries are people who see beyond their abilities.
          • The Lord promised if we delight in Him, he will give us the desires of our heart.  He says He has engraved us in the palms of His hands. Isaiah 49: 16  (It is something done that will never or could ever be undone. Being engraved in the palms of God’s hands means we are safe in the permanence of His love.)
          • What you want: Write it out in vivid detail and put it up where you will see it everyday. If it isn’t God’s will there will be something else.
          • “When you cease to dream you cease to live.” — Malcolm Forbes
          • Don’t let roadblocks stop you.  Find a way to go around them to continue your journey.
          • “Everything you can imagine is real.” — Pablo Picasso
          • “If you love what you do and are willing to do what it takes, it’s within your reach. And it’ll be worth every minute you spend alone at night, thinking and thinking about what it is you want to design or build.” — Steve Wozniak
          • “If you work just for money, you’ll never make it, but if you love what you’re doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours.”–Ray Kroc
          •  “In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it.” — Jane Smiley
          • “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” — Jim Rohn
          • “But you have to do what you dream of doing even while you’re afraid.” – Arianna Huffington
          • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot
          • If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.” – Celestine Chua
          • If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn
          • Take control of you life!  Set  your goals by deciding where   you want to be in 30 years? 25? 20? 15? 10? 5? 1?  Then break it down by what you have to do to get there, starting immediately.
          • Make a plan for your life while you are young. Otherwise it is like taking off to get to NYC without a map or street signs.
          • Goals that are put in writing are dreams with deadlines.
          • Be hardworking, focused and willing to put whatever is necessary to achieve goals. Here is  how successful people accomplish more
          • Define realistic goals to make real progress (another by Harvey Mackay,  January 2, 2011) Also found here
          • Don’t just work hard, work hard on getting there.  Decide on your goals, then channel your efforts, instead of letting things just happen to you.
          • If you fall, dust yourself off and try again. If you break your arm, it will heal. Learn how to tumble to prevent such an error-but never stop jumping. Performance is the only true measure of the worth of an individual–not rank, title, status, fame or money.
          • Writing down goals is like having a road map: you won’t easily get from here to New York City without a map.  Write in specific detail what steps you must take to reach them.  Play out in your head the relevant detail for every conceivable option and scenario. Then stay focused on working toward them, instead of letting things just happen.   As each goal is accomplished, bigger and more exciting ones will fill their place.
          • If you’re bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals. —Lou Holtz
          • “One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests.” – John Stuart Mill
          • “By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands–your own.”-Mark Victor Hansen
          • The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” -Benjamin Mays
          • “You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.” -Booker T. Washington
          • “Goals help focus you on areas in both your personal and professional life that are important and meaningful, rather than being guided by what other people want you to be, do, or accomplish.” -Catherine Pulsifer
          • Goals are dreams with deadlines.” -Diana Scharf Hunt
          • Everyone wants to be strong and self sufficient, but few are willing to put in the work necessary to achieve worthy goals. —Gandhi
          • “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman
          • “Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” ~ William Faulkner
          • “When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.”–Cynthia Occelli
          • “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”–Goethe
          • “You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills.”–Jim Rohn
          • Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. —Langston Hughes
          • All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”- Walt Disney
          • “Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis
          • “At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.” – Christopher Reeve
          • “Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time away from your own.” – Yogi Ramen
          • “Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” – Unknown
          • “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
          • “When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson
          • “The most important thing about goals is having one.” – Geoffry F. Abert
          • “The only reason we don’t have what we want in life is the reasons we create why we can’t have them.” – Tony Robbins
          • “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland
          • “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn
          • “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.” – Stephen Covey
          • “You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal.” – Zig Ziglar
          • The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” – Benjamin Mays
          • “People with clear, written goals accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them can ever imagine.” – Unknown
          • “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” – Napoleon Hill
          •  “Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want.” – Richard Koch
          •  “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
          • “20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did.   Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
          • If you are stricken by illness or misfortune set goals.  If you know of a trade, offer your services to those in need. To get better you often have to go out of your way.
          • Pray in detail about what you want- example a nice house large enough for us without being too big 3-4 bed/3 bath/3 car garage,  large kitchen to fix meals together, hardwoods, heatpump, a separate living room and family room so we could hang out. A yard large enough to have some privacy, but not too big to take care of, no stairs, NO POOL! , no HOA, but the area kept nicely, with quiet neighbors who are friendly, good schools, low taxes and insurance. But asking for a very particular area….. God may want you in another area, that He knows is better for you, so be careful about that.
          • Video  Quantum Leaps (Identify your gifts, Dream, Take Action)

        CHALLENGE YOURSELF   (Success) Obstacles Problems Success and Mistakes Also see Goals and Just do it and fear

        • Our greatest lessons come from our most challenging seasons.
        • In the past you may have seen a problem as a crisis, yet each problem creates an opportunity.  Problems are challenges; challenges  represent an opportunity to think, act and react a new way. Identifying and providing a solution to a challenge can create  an  opportunity for a potential profit as others  experiencing a problem  will pay well to have their problem solved or avoided. Obviously, the more acute and immediate the problem the more profitable the opportunity becomes. Ex: You will get a different response when offering snow tires to someone on a hot summer day verses when they are have slid off the road and are stuck in a ditch. (Find a need and fill it.)
        • Remind yourself that problems come not to obstruct but to instruct.
        • Anyone can overcome life’s biggest challenges by using faith coupled with determination.
        • Things that are too big for any human being to handle on his own–we have to trust in the Father whose abiding love for us all–whether we’ve strayed from His path or stayed–is spelled out pretty clearly in red in the story of the prodigal son. -Dennis Quaid
        • All we can do is put it in God’s hands. See James 1:6
        • Life without challenge and passion is far more destructive than physical danger.
        • Two men looked out from prison bars. One saw mud. The other saw stars.
        • An optimist looks for the opportunity in every difficulty while a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity and will give excuses why he can’t do something. (In a study by the Women’s Health initiative study of 100,000 women those rated optimistic by special questionnaires were 14% less likely than pessimists to died during the study’s first eight years. Optimist are master copers. They have strong social networks and handle stress better, which could make a difference.
        • The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. —William A. Ward
        • Choose to be optimistic. It feels better.
        • In trying times, don’t quit trying.
        • Excuses don’t make things happen; nothing happens unless WE make it happen.
        • He who excuses himself accuses himself
        • No one ever accomplished anything by playing it too safe; sitting passively and refusing  to step forward, to do something, while expecting someone else to do it.
        • In the game of life, you can’t steal second base if you keep your foot on first.
        • Those who won’t go after what they want,  will never obtain it;  stuck in the same old place, going nowhere and getting run over.
        •  You are limited only by your own self.
        • No one can push you up the ladder unless you are willing to climb yourself……  You can lead a mule to water but you can’t make him drink…..
        • Don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it….
        • It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare . (It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.) Be daring!
        •  You don’t need an invitation to your own life.  In leaving your comfort zone and trying something that is challenging  you gain confidence as you discover wonderful things about yourself.
        • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. Henry David Thoreau
        • Always be yourself. It’s better to be a real nobody than a fake somebody. You were born to be an original.
        • Accept the challenges so you may feel the exhilaration of victory. – George Patton
        • Never let the brain get idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
        • What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
        • Why we let you do things on your own: Ann Landers July 19 1999 https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1999-07-19-9907190166-story.html  A woman wrote that she is living proof that a  parent does their child no favor by giving them everything they want on a silver platter. Her parents paid for her college education, every car she owned and made the down payment on her house. She says if she had to pay for her college education, she might have worked harder for better grades. If she had to pay for  her car insurance and repairs, she might have been a more careful driver. She was taught  to believe that   Prince Charming would come along and take care of me but he hasn’t and she is  unable to live within her means,   cannot manage her finances, and her self-esteem is zero. She said that in high school, she was the envy of all her friends and now, she is the envious one . Yes, parents can do too much for their kids. Keep telling them, Ann. Maybe some of them will get the message. I’m sorry my parents didn’t.                                                                                                     Ann responded:   Dear Charlotte: Apparently, you’ve had the disadvantage of too many advantages. Too bad. But at least you recognize it and are trying to repair the damage. I hope the “silver platter” parents in my reading audience recognize themselves and stop excessive gift giving. It cripples their children and could make them forever dependent.
        • Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.
        • Don’t worry when you stumble–remember a worm is the only thing that can’t fall down. -Thoreau
        • Stumbling is a part of learning.
        • “Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” — Charles F. Kettering
        • “It is not what happens to you that matters, but what you do about it that makes the difference. – Rhett Power
        • Take one day at a time. Don’t be a compulsive worrier, anticipating problems that never happen.
        • Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
        •  Don’t ever underestimate the capacity of a human being who is determined to do something.- Edna Adan
        • Knowing somethign doesn’t change your life. Doing somethign does. – Marie Forleo
        • Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations. ~Mae Jamison
        • To run with the big dogs, you have to get off the porch.
        • What does it matter if you win the rat race? You are still a rat!
        • Before every victory there’s a battle to be fought. Before every sunrise one must live through the night.
        • You can work hard but you don’t do it on your own. You aren’t the captain of the ship. God is; always has been. Ask Him to help you. Who else could guide you from that first inkling to  where you want to by? Who better to steer you through rough waters? You can have a peace born of a knowledge that your course is set, navigated from above,- unknown
        • Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration.
        • Pyramid of Success- the key building blocks of good character- enthusiasm, loyalty, friendship, initiative, poise, confidence, self control, It isn’t about winning but instead working at being the best you can be. (Working on it through prayer, reading scripture, growing in your love for God. ) – John Wooden’s Pyramid of success.
        • After years of preparation you can become an overnight success.
        • The key to success is self-confidence, and the key to self-confidence is preparation.
        • “The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.” — Henry Ford
        • “The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.” – Bruce Feirstein
        • “The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” — Bruce Lee
        • Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.”- Robert Collier
        • “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”- Vidal Sassoon
        •  “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” — Jim Rohn
        • Some days, success is about luck, or talent, or skill. But most days, success is bout wrestling failure to the ground until it screams uncle. – Sally Hogshead
        •  “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” — Mark Caine
        • “To be successful, you must accept all challenges that come your way. You can’t just accept the ones you like.” — Mike Gafka
        • “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen
        • “Everyone faces challenges in life. It’s a matter of how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage.” – Celestine Chua
        • Blessings come in disguise. And challenges can be a blessing.- Actress Diane Lane
        • Write down all of you troubles in the sand, Carve all of your blessings and accomplishments in stone.
        • “If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you!” — T. Harv Eker
        • “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
        • “The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.” – Unknown
        • “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children… to leave the world a better place… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
        • Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
        • Video: The Push Sometimes we need a push, and sometimes we need to give one, but it is often the greatest gift that changes a life forever.
        • Where you go in the world depends on how you view yourself & what you do with it.
        •  This too shall pass, no matter what it is, good or bad.
        • There are 360 degrees, use them. Walk, don’t grow roots. Enlarge your angle of vision; keep shooting until you use the circle and every angle up and down.
        • “The great successful men of the world have used their imagination. They think ahead and create their mental picture in all its details, filling in here, adding a little there, altering this a bit and that a bit, but steadily building–steadily building.”-Robert Collier
        • “The best revenge is massive success.” — Frank Sinatra
        • “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” — Albert Einstein
        • “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” — David Brinkley
        • Success is … knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” –John C. Maxwell
        • Every single person I know who is successful at what they do is successful because they love doing it.”- Joe Penna, Mystery Guitar Man
        •  Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life — think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.” — Swami Vivekananda
        • Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” – Swami Vivekananda
        • “Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them.” — Vaibhav Shah
        • “Success? I don’t know what that word means. I’m happy. But success, that goes back to what in somebody’s eyes success means. For me, success is inner peace. That’s a good day for me.” — Denzel Washington
        • “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell
        • “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
        • Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve.” – Wilfred Peterson
        • “Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them.” – Vaibhav Shah
        • “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
        • “If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
        • Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in, and day-out.” – Robert Collier
        • Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” – George Sheehan
        • “Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.” – Orison Swett Marden
        • Making mistakes is not a disgrace. Mistakes are ways to gracefully keep us humble.
        • “Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.” – George Bernard Shaw
        • Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
        • Be willing to do the small things that often lead to big results. Be exploratory, be unafraid of making a mistake–or you’ll never get beyond yourself.
        • “Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go and given up.” – Rhett Power
        • The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli
        • The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” – Bruce Lee
        • “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” – Albert Einstein
        • “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine
        • Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” – Dalai Lama
        • What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. – Bob Dylan
        • “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton
        • “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
        • “Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.
        • “I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale
        • “The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do.” – Roy L. Smith
        • “Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso
        • “Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
        • “Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” – Zig Ziglar
        • People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved.” -Anne Sullivan
        • “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier
        •  Video:The Best of Success Traits that successful people seem to share.
        • Video: The 10 Rules for Achieving Success  Achieving a success is like opening a combination lock. You need the correct numbers in the correct sequence.
        • Video: The Strangest Secret Success in our life is controlled by what we think
        • Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. – Gen. George S. Patton
        • Success comes with real world experience or here:  to see many links  to it, should that first one not open. Harvey Mackay Sept 24, 2013
        • In society we define success as money and power, which is like trying to sit on a two-legged stool. Sooner or later you will topple over. ….Look at what you love to do. Everyone is creative. Every child has that gift to express, whether through writing or thinking or just through being with people fully present. Take those gifts and apply them throughout your life and it will make a big difference. (article on Arianna Huffington)
        • Follow your passion. Whatever you’re doing, do your best at all times and make it as correct as possible. Work as if someone is watching you. Then you’ll be prepared when an opportunity presents itself. And  you’ll have the answers.  -Katherine Johnson, one of the NASA mathematicians depicted in the movie ‘Hidden Figures’.
        • The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it. – Tony Robbins.

        Hard Work

        • Success isn’t always about greatness. Its about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come. Actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
        • Success comes down to hard work plus passion, over time. If you work really, really hard over a long period of time, it will pay off.”- Stanley Tang, eMillions
        • There is no elevator to success — you have to take the stairs.
        • “I don’t believe in luck. Luck = Leaving things to chance and outside world. I believe in being harbingers of our fate, taking action and creating our own path and destiny in life. Your life is yours to create – Don’t ever let others do it for you.” – Celestine Chua
        • “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell
        • “Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” – David Bly
        • “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” – Gary Player
        • A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. – Hugh Downs
        • “Success is 99% attitude and 1% aptitude.” – Celestine Chua
        • Attitude is not everything, but it is almost everything.
        • “It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.” – Zig Ziglar
        • I grew up working in tobacco fields for my father. I have performed all the jobs described in the article Was the work hard? No doubt about it! Was it injurious to my health?  What the tobacco field did provide me with was a burning desire for an education and an appreciation for the value of hard work   June 2015 Children of the Tobacco Fields | Reader’s Digest
        • Video: What it Takes to be #1  … honesty, hard work, and dedication in any endeavor. When you are truthful, when you are honest, you can come from nobody to somebody. Go from zero to hero.

        TRUTH AND HONESTY

        • “The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.” –  Unknown
        •  A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right, and evil doesn’t become good, just because it’s accepted by a majority.’ -Booker T. Washington
        • The people you have to lie to, own you. The things you have to lie about, own you. —Michael Ventura
        • H.I. T. Honesty~ Integrity ~ Trustworthiness
        • “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” – Unknown 
        •  Make few promises and live up to your engagements.
        • Once you tell a lie then no one believes you when you tell the truth. ~ German Proverb
        • True winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

        FAILURE /RISK/Mistakes Fear  (See Success and goals, jobs)

        • If you’ve never failed you’ve never really stretched yourself.
        • “Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.”–K T Witten
        • You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. –Johnny Cash
        • “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde
        • I try to incorporate faith every day, to not remind myself of past failures, to learn how to forgive and to trust the future.Vanessa Williams
        • “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”-Ray Goforth
        • The past doesn’t equal the future, and the minute you think it does,  you are trapped. -you can’t change. Mike Rowe
        • “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” ~Vince Lombardi
        • “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” -Victor Kiam
        • “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: Try to please everybody.” – Herbert B. Swope
        • “Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.” – Malcolm S. Forbes
        • You will always make mistakes and you will have setbacks.  Find the silver lining in them by learning all you can from them. Look at every setback as a chance to grow.
        • Place your failure before the Father.Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you quit.” – Rhett Power
        • Don’t worry about failure; you only have to be right once.” — Drew Houston
        • “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky
        • Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
        • Success is going from failure to failure without losing your  enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
        • Courage is born at the point where God’s grace and human effort intersect. – Father Timothy M. Gallagher.
        • I try to incorporate faith every day, to not remind myself of past failures, to learn how to forgive and to trust the future. – Vanessa Williams
        • No failure is final, so just start organizing or whatever is the simplest step.
        • The hardest part about being an entrepreneur is that you’ll fail ten times for every success.”- Adam Horwitz, Mobile Monopoly
        • “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas A. Edison
        • I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody. Herbert Swope
        • Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” — Coco Chanel
        • Success comes in cans; failure in can’ts.” – Unknown
        • Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas A. Edison
        • I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody. -Herbert Swope
        • Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail. —Bruce Lee
        • Nobody is a finished project. Never give up.
        • Anxiety is just repeatedly experiencing failure in advance. —Seth Godin   (Journaling can help reduce anxiety. Deep breaths can instantly soothe frayed nerves.)
        • Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson
        • You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures.” -Charles C. Noble
        • One can tell how big a man is by how small a think it takes to frustrate him.
        • The Pearl Principle – no inner irritation, no pearl. —Lama Surya Das
        •  Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” — Oprah Winfrey
        • Winners say they have temporary setback, not failures. Choose to call what others may call a ‘failure”  a ‘temporary setback’.
        • Failure is impossible- Susan B. Anthony
        • Some dreams will fail, but what are the consequences of not following your dream? What if the genius neurosurgeon had given up because he didn’t want to take a chance?
        • Video:  Failures & tears kept me going  When I reach the place of my dreams, I will thank my failures and tears. They too, kept me going.
        • The only real handicaps are those we create for ourselves.
        • “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”- Dolly Parton
        •  “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett
        • “People who succeed have momentum. The more they succeed, the more they want to succeed, and the more they find a way to succeed. Similarly, when someone is failing, the tendency is to get on a downward spiral that can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” – Tony Robbins
        • The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”- Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook
        • Champions are willing to do something they hate in order to create something they love.
        • There’s no possibility of success without risk.
        • “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn
        • Winners are determined to win so they set goals that can be measured, keeps statistics,  make commitments and  plans  daily   and doesn’t quit. They see opportunities, not problems, willingly taking risks to meet a challenge and  keep working to find a way to do something. If it means they have to go through something to get to the other side, they will, instead of going way around it  ……a loser makes promises but won’t take a risk and hates setting goals or making plans….doesn’t know what goals are.  A loser doesn’t want statistics.
        • God has greater plans for you that you can expect  if you share your life with Him and listen to Him.
        • Change is a necessary part of God’s plan. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments.
        • There’s no possibility of success without risk.
        • Risk taking is the fundamental foundation of economic progress. Societies that allow or encourage it flourish; those that don’t  encourage it  don’t flourish.
        • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas Edison
        • Giving up is not failing — it’s the chance to begin again. —Unknown
        • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” -Theodore Roosevelt    “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” -Charles Kettering
        • “You may only succeed if you desire succeeding; you may only fail if you do not mind failing.” — Philippos
        • “The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
        • “Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.” – Les Brown
        • “Make no small plans for they have no power to stir the soul.” – Niccolo Machiavelli
        • “No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Unknown
        • “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown
        • “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
        • “You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.” – Pursuit of Happyness (Movie)
        • “History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.” – John Eliot
        • “You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream.” – John Eliot

         

        FEAR

        • Our greatest fear should not be of failure … but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan
        • Jesus Christ is the key to letting go of fear and doing the things you once feared.
        • There is only one thing which makes a dream impossible to achieve; the fear of failure.–Paulo Coelho
        • Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.” – David M. Burns
        • “Do one thing every day that scares you.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
        • Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile…initially scared me to death. —Betty Bender
        • Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain.
        • Fearis one of the biggest drivers of emotions.
        • When you do the thing you fear the most, you put an end to fear.
        • I can pay attention to fear and get nothing done or ignorant and march ahead. Some people watch the parade go by. Others march in it. Be the Grand Marshal. Keep marching.
        • Fear can motivate you when you ask yourself how you are going to pay those bills.
        • Obstacles are fears that need to be transformed. When you have successfully released and transformed them you are one stop close to your dream.
        • If you feel like life is passing you by, throw yourself into the small things and repeat to yourself, ‘This siwhere I start’.
        • Take a big challenge and chop it to bite size pieces–public speaking may be your fear.
        • “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
        • “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” -Henry Ford
        • Sometimes doing the one thing you don’t want to do can be the best thing you have done.
        • “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” -Tim Ferriss
        •  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. —Eleanor Roosevelt
        •  Many people are afraid of the dark, but the real tragedy is those who are afraid of the light. —Unknown
        • “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. We must do that which we think we cannot.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
        •  I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. —Galileo Galilei
        •  The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. —Unknown
        •  In order to dominate the soul you must also learn to dominate the body. And in order to dominate the body you cannot fear pain. —Paulo Coelho
        •  Every shadow—no matter how deep—is threatened by morning light. —Unknown
        • By acting bravely we become brave; not the other way round. —Unknown
        •  “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” – Deepak Chopra
        • When the lion is chasing the antelope, he doesn’t look back. He has to eat. —Robert Cheruiyot

         

        SUCCESS

        God blessed each of us with  individual talents at birth in order for us to find our unique calling in life.   We must never claim, even in jest, that He didn’t give us any talents. Every single one of us has been given specific talents and in using them we glorify Him. The ultimate reward is a richer life in doing what we love! (Read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30)  Note: While these Talents are God-given and not a learned behavior, they can be strengthened by studying.

        • If you are constantly chasing success, you are not really living in the moment. Go places. Do things. The journey is what’s fun. It is the reward. We lose the joy of living in the present when we worry about the future.  Don’t define yourself as a person through success or money.
        • Success does not come from doing the hard stuff, it comes from doing the simple stuff really well.
        • As you ascend up the ladder don’t let power corrupt you.
        • Whatever you believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic power and grace to it. – KW Von Goethe (1749-1832)
        • Five key qualities to success in business and life : change, organization, motivation, balance and optimization.
        • There are no 9-5 possibilities for true success in business or the professions. Dedication is the key.
        •  What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Henry Stanley Haskins, author
        • It’s never crowded along the extra mile.
        • Life is what you make it.
        • I believe that without God I am nobody, but that with God, I can do anything. – Dolly Parton.
        • Forget the New Age talk of “Believe in yourself”. Instead Believe in God and see what happens.
        • Help others get ahead. You will always stand taller with someone else on  your shoulders. – Bob Moawad
        • Forget luck.  God does not favor   someone else over you.
        • If things are not as you wish them to be and you want a change  begin by praying to God for help.
        • What you are doing right now is the most important thing in your life; it will determine what you have in the future. Examine your life and make sure that you a re doing things at each moment that move you closer to where you want to be. -Larry Winget
        • Lighten up. Don’t take things so seriously. Will it matter ten years from now? Or even ten minutes from now? – Larry Winget
        • Look for the good  in everything. Even if what you are going through seems bad at the moment, there is a lesson to be learned. Learning is positive. Growth, change, and new lessons are always good for us. -Larry Winget
        • Pray for and expect God’s  best. Don’t doubt once you pray because James 1:6-7 says  when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.   That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
        • Doubt is not fatal if we recognize it for what it is: a smudge on the lens.  When we realize that, wipe it clear and put the glasses back on. W. Lee Warren, M.D.

        Procrastination /GO AHEAD AND LIVE

        •  “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.” – Denis Waitley
        • Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” –Pablo Picasso
        • If you wait, all that happens is you get older- Larry McMurtry
        • Do something. Action makes things happen. Remember you don’t have to be good to start, but you have to start to be good. – Larry Winget
        • Video: Eat That Frog 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating
        • “Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” – Leo Buscaglia
        • Celebrate it all. Life is too short to be miserable, even for one instant. – Larry Winget
        • “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie
        • “We think about all of our tomorrows, but we don’t know how many they are, so let’s start making the most of our Todays!.” – Ivana Trump
        • “Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Steve Jobs.
        •  “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” — Mahatma Gandhi
        • “Life is a gift. Never forget to enjoy and bask in every moment you are in.” – Celestine Chua
        • “May you live every day of your life.” — Jonathan Swift
        •  “I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.”-Neil Armstrong
        • “Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don’t spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.” – Celestine Chua
        • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
        • “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West
        •  I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” — Diane Ackerman
        • “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah Winfrey
        • “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

        Keys to Success:

        • Nothing you say today will teach you anything. So if you are going to learn, you must do it by listening.
        • Be willing to listen intently to other’s people’s point of view, as we learn from each person. To change the way I feel I have to change the way  I think.
        • Be a good listener, letting others do a good deal of the talking (about themselves and their interests.)
        • Being a good listener is more important than good looks and asking questions make a huge difference. We all feel more valued when someone takes an interest in what we have to say.
        • Befriend and listen to older people.   They make incredible mentors as they have a lot more experience and can teach us so much,  including gentleness and humility while saving us  a whole lot of stumbling.
        • God puts mentors in your path. THey may not look like you, sound like you, or be what you expect.  Buy they alwaysa know more thanyou. – Maria Shriver
        • Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t. Take advantage of allowing others to mentor you by LISTENING closely as much as you can.
        • The two words silent and listen contain the same letters arranged differently. In whatever relationship you may  be in, the best way to listen is to remain silent. – Robert Herjavec.

         Leadership- See inspire

          • Leadership is not being in charge, it is about taking care of people in your charge. – Simon Sinek
          • If serving is below you, leadership is beyond you.
          • Be willing to say to those in your charge, “I don’t know.” —Unknown
          •  There are three ways to lead: 1. By example 2. By example 3. By example. —Unknown
          •  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others. —Marianne Williamson
          • Nehemiahhas 13 chapters all filled with lessons on leadership. When Nehemiah was appointed Governor of Jerusalem, he didn’t take advantage of people like his predecessors  had. He treated everyone fairly from the nobles to the poor, and stayed focused on his mission, two hallmarks of a good leader See Neh 5:15-16
          •  Many people have gone a lot farther than they thought they could because someone else thought they could. —Zig Ziglar
          • Video: Wisdom of Wolves lessons in leadership and teamwork, learned from the powerful wolf pack.
          • Leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others, -John C. Maxwell
          • God keeps his promises to us and provides for our every need and a good leader remembers who the true leader is. Nehemiah 9
          • God is truest to you when you are truest to Him.
          • Good mentors create good leaders.
          • Good leaders are people who set a good example. They lead by doing, not just telling.
          • Leadership means getting people to think believe, see and do what they might now have without you. It means possessing the vision to see the  right goal. Ig means to be aware of the fears and anxieties felt by those who lead even as you urge them to overcome their fears, –Bill Bradley, former senator and basketball star
          • The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born–that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.” -Warren G. Bennis
          • As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” — Bill Gates
          • “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” — John Quincy Adams
          • Video Rock Solid Leadership  Leaders are not born, they are made. Ordinary people with extraordinary determinations go on to become great leaders.
          • Leaders are readers. Be enriched by good reading.
          • Video: Great Quotes, Great Leaders
          • Video: You Can’t Send a Duck to Leadership School
          • Video: The Essence of Leadership “a-ha!” moments that go straight to the heart.
          •  Video: 212º Service
        • Video: 212º Inspirational Leadership  take your leadership skills from effective to extraordinary!
        • The challenge of any leader is to not let the losers, the disappointments, the pressure, the competition and the rejection change you and make you negative and biter. – Art Williams.
        • “Improvise, Adapt, Overcome,” which is the unofficial slogan among Marines.
        • Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains–accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it (Adapt and overcome.)

        KEEP GOING, EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS TOUGH  see perseverance

        • What you fail to master in your life will eventually master you.
        • Unless you try something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
        • Video Mediocrity: Are you Middle Class or World Class?
        • How you finish depends on how you start.
        • You are the sum of the obstacles you overcome.
        • In golf as in life, the follow through makes the difference.  Video: Golf Quotes
        • Video Unchain the Elephant (How we have been conditioned.)
        • Sometimes life knocks you on your ass…get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them. Steve Maraboli
        • Try to have good days and bad moments. Life is too short to have bad days.
        • Past performance is not an indication of future returns.
        • Never be content to just be average. Always give your best.
        • Bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln
        • Present choices determine future consequences.
        • Stand out-do the right thing. When you follow others like a sheep, you don’t stand out. People see those who do and remember and that can make you special.
        •  Just because it is common sense doesn’t mean it is common practice.
        • ‘Raise the bar’ for self and others. -Johnny Weismueller
        • Video: Learning to Dance in the Rain “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning how to dance in the rain!”

        WINNERS

        • A winner always looks a better way to do something, instead just going along with something just ‘because that is the way it’s always been done here’.
        • A winner works harder than a loser, and has more time: a loser is always “too busy” to do what is necessary.
        • A winner isn’t nearly as afraid of losing as a loser is secretly afraid of winning.
        • A winner knows what to fight for and what to compromise; a loser compromises on what he shouldn’t and fights for what isn’t worthwhile.
        • A winner repeats behavior that works and avoids behavior that doesn’t work;  a loser repeats behavior because he is comfortable with it.
        • A winner is extremely loyal; a loser doesn’t know the meaning of loyalty,
        • Bravery isn’t about the absence of fear and hurt but the ability to look directly at them and push right past.
        • You are always a winner if you made the effort.
        • A winner  asks questions and listens to the answers to learn  all he can from every one he meets in order to better  himself,  aware that  everyone knows something he doesn’t while a loser never listens because he is too busy bragging about what he’s going to do, tears down others and believes  he isn’t as  bad as a lot of other people.
        • I didn’t lose the gold, I won the silver – Michelle Kwan
        • It is not about winning. It is about not giving up. If you have a dream fight for it. – Lady Gaga
        • “Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki
        • “Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are.” -Unknown

        LIVING IN THE PRESENT

        DON’T JUST STAND THERE, DO SOMETHING / CHANGE

        • To resist change is like holding your breath. If you resist you will die. We must accept motion, must live with motion, must know ourselves to be ever moving.       I will go anywhere provided it is forward.
        • He who hesitates gets bumped from behind.
        • You can’t count your days, but you can make your days count.
        • Video Secrets of the World Class If you wish to be more than you are…  to be great at what you do, change your thinking…thus, your life!
        • Video: What is the Big Idea? Sometimes a single, powerful idea can change your life.
        • Be the change you want to see in the world.- Ghandi
        • Video: Change is Good. You go First. Scared of change? Deciding to make changes is easy, getting everyone on board is a different story.
        • Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.
        • One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have.   – Liz Josefsberg
        • A 4.0 in school does not necessarily make one fit to excel. And a 2.0 gpa doesn’t mean you will wind up living at  the bottom of life. Its about whether you move forward or backward. You can make a change in this world.  Don’t be afraid. -Bill Cosby
        • “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
        • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

        God, Prayer, Jesus

        • THE KEY OF LIFE:  Take hold of my instructions; Don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.  Proverbs 4:13
        • God holds the MASTER key (the solution) to all problems   
        • Key to reaching God is praying in Jesus name
        • God has given us the key to open the miraculous.
        • The key to grace is belief.
        • We stumble over and over. We try harder and harder and we still stumble. We don’t have to try to impress God. He already loves us.
        • God loves you the way you are, but he knows you can do better. Rev William Sloan Coffin, Jr.
        • Video Jesus the Ultimate Gift God sent us a very special gift…an incomparable expression of His love.
        • (*Habakkuk 2:2-3 The Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. ) When you have an idea lay it out in writing. Don’t try to sell others on a plan just by the melodiousness of your voice or your personality.
        • The praying person and the serpent. Sever the snakes head. Salvation wins.
        • Even when we blame God or turn our backs on Him, God never turns away from us.
        • Prayers are tools NOT for doing or getting, but for being and becoming.
        • Video A Time for Prayer
        • Ask God for help and he will meet you in your greatest weaknesses. He will transform that weakness into strength, self-deception into rigorous honesty. He will make you the person he always meant you to be.
        • There is a light that shines even in the dark.
        • Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.  -Martin Luther King.
        • When you pray for your kids visualize the dreams you have for them and trust them to God.
        • When someone can’t pray, tell them that you will pray for them until they can.

        PRAYERS FOR HEALING

        The value of prayer for healing. There is an interplay between the type of healing in hospitals and the type of healing that takes place in the private recesses of our minds. I have come to deeply appreciate the role of prayer in the healing process. Often patients or their loved ones have prayed with me before surgery. I see it as an expression of confidence that their love one will be healed. It makes me feel more inspired. – Sanjay Gupta

        GIVING GOD GLORY
        • God has remade you, but He didn’t do it only for you. He will use you to touch other people.
        • Thank God for the chance to glorify His name. He will show yu not what a man can do, but what God can do with a man.
        • Thank Him for all the people who helped you on your journey.
        • Thank you Lord for prayer that changes things. But, even more thank you for prayer that changes me.
        • We pray for … and his sister, too. Give them a faith that reminds them that even in their sadness and confusion they can look to You for peace and acceptance and understanding.
        • Pray for God to show you how to be valuable to someone. Then give thanks to God, without Whom none of this cold be possible. You’ll never believe it until you experience.
        • It is never too late for a man to start giving his best to the One Who loves us the most.

        GOOD READS- The all time best lessons for living

        • How to Win Friends and Influence People    Dale Carnegie
        • The Importance of Living   Kin Yutang
        • Peace of Mind  Joshua Lot Liebman
        • Love or Perish Smiley Blanton
        • The Science of Being and Art of Living Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
        • I’m Ok- You’re Ok Tom Harris
        • Gestalt Therapy Verbatim Frederick “Fritz” Perls
        • How to Be Your Own Best Friend Bernard Berkowitz aned Mildred Newman
        • Winning through Intimidation Robert Ringer
        • Your Erroneous Zones Wayne Dyer

        DEATH/  Loss

        • I wouldn’t get over the losses I my life. I would learn to get through them-  Mary Beth Chapman, wife of Steven Curtis Chapman, after the loss of her five year old daughter in a  tragic accident.
        • You will never get over a death.  It will always be a part of your life,  but you will get through it.
        • This brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. Luke 15:32
        • Write down the warm positive memories you have of your loved one. The more you  write the more you are able to see how blessed you have been with so many good years.
        • Here, we are in our cocoon.  We metamorphosis into something beautiful when we leave our earthly existence.  What the butterfly can teach us

        DYING-

        • In the final stages what one needs from you now is just your presence and your love.  Be strong and help them accept what is happening.
        • Forget about your illness for a day and go have some fun. Don’t do too much but enjoy yourself.   (Remember we are each dying to this life.) Only God knows how long we will live, be we decide how we will live. Hope is stronger than any pharmaceutical.
        • After a loved one passes spend some time with their best friend; they will have a million stories.
        • Just be there for others

        See Hope, Encourage and Inspire others

        MARRIAGE

        • Marriage is a long haul, kind of like a marathon-Run with endurance. See Hebrews 12:1

        WEIGHT

        • So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.1 Corinth 10:31 (good for fridge magnet)
        • Lord, give me the strength to get healthy, so I can live my best life for you.
        • Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Prov 3:5
        • Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Phil 2:14
        • Get someone to pray with you. Matt 18:20.  When two or three come together in my name, there I am also.
        • Freedom from dieting- fill your life with prayer instead of regrets. Don’t hang on to regrets and resentments. Don’t stuff down your feelings with food. Are you eating out of hunger or out of boredom or loneliness.  (See regrets)
        • umami can help increase the feelings of satiety and decrease food cravings. L-theanine in tea is also linked to better sleep and can deliver that umami kick.
        • High fructose corn syrup will cause an unusual amount of belly fat. The excess fructose is said to be stored as fat instead of being used for energy.
        • Abdominal fat is a risk factor for high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. You lose fat everywhere when you lose weight, but the proportion of fat you llose in your belly is higher than in the rest of your body, because there is less fat there. If you lose 10% of your total body fat you will probably lose 15% of your intra-abdominal fat and 50% of your liver fat.
        • See weight above under bullies to see what famous people were bullied for their weight

        AGING…GROWING OLDER

        • When you are young, your ego is so strong.  Then you get older and you get freed from yourself.  – Actor Peter Dinklage.
        • Optimism and effective coping skills were the most important factors  in aging successfully–not health, according to research.
        • Youth is a frame of mind. If you get out there and enjoy it, you can have it at anytime of your life. -Kenny Rogers, quoting his late grandfather.
        • Getting older may not be fun, but it’s easier to deal with when you laugh about it. Like adding a little sparkle to your outfit, humor just brings a bit of joy to any situation and takes some of the seriousness away.

        BLESSINGS FOR YOUR MEAL

        • Bless the ones who grew this food and those who helped prepare it. Keep us mindful of you love and grant us strength to share it. Jennie Ivey Cookeville, TN
        • God bless not only our food and drink but what we do and what we think.
        • As we gather here today, as we join our hands to pray, Father God, we ask your blessing on the food we share today…Kris Taranic, Phoenix
        • God’s bounty knows no limits if we give insted of hold; it circles round and round againand returns to us tenfold.

         

        MORNING PRAYER

        • Lord, I give you this day. Help me to serve your purpose today and always.

        FINANCES

        • Trust God to provide. Remember He fed thousands with a few loaves and fishes. God fills our lives with abundance.
        • We spend so many hours working, trying to make more money only to spend  it on things that require more time and money.

        DEPRESSION/ Feeling down/ Feeling Blue/ See faith

        • Research show a link between depression and diabetes.
        • When you are feeling down, do something nice for someone else.  (Everyday  I want to find something nice to do for someone else. – Mila Evans)

        CHRISTMAS

        GARDENING-

        Feeling frustrated? Spend time kneeling in the dirt tenderly working on plants like God can work on us, plucking out and getting rid of things that are ugly, like anger and pride, while leaving room for the best parts  to grow.

        AUTO INSURANCE

        • underinsured motor pays your medical, not the other persons. Thus, if you have medical insurance already  you may not need to carry underinsured on your auto insurance.

        FIRST IMPRESSIONS

        • When meeting someone for the first time NEVER ask what they do for a living. It is a great ice breaker to ask where they are from originally. (You won’t sound like an oaf.)
        • 55% of first impressions are based on your body language and attitude. Do not get in someone’s space. Stay back 18 inches.

        Work in progress (WIP) to be moved above

        • Life is like a road. Sometimes there is a bend in the road thta we can’t see beyond. But God sees. He knows the way and he will guide us.
        • Kids don’t realize they would not be here if the previous generation hadn’t discovered sex. Jacki Weaver- Aussie Actress.
        • Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. – M. Scott Peck M.D. The Road Less Traveled.
        • Take a deep breath and think of the three things you are grateful for, right in this moment.
        • Victory has 100 fathers. Defeat is an orphan.
        • A Change in activity is a form of rest (When you need a break, try doing something different. Variety is the spice of life.
        • Take a road trip (Historic Route 66 is interesting)
        • Maya Angelou Quotes. I have great respect for the past. If you don‘t know where you’ve come from, you don‘t know where you’re going.
        • The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price.
        • Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That is where you will find a lot of fruit
        • What sort of legacy do you want to leave behind? Serving the Lord?
        • Amy Tan said she didn’t date because she was ugly so she grew up thinking she could never rely on her looks as a way to get ahead in this world.
        • How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. –Annie Dillard,
        • Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
        • Sometimes having more guts than brains works.
        • Praise others, with true praise, not flattery. It makes others feel significant.
        • Hubris is terminal (Hubris is pride or self confidence)
        • One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it. ~ Sidney Howard
        • I find the greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendall Holmes
        • Nobody can do everything but everyone can do something.
        • Nobody forgets where you have buried the hatchet.
        • Remember who you are.
        • Always be yourself and embrace the things that make you special.
        •  Sometimes you need to remake the situation. Don’t take yourself seriously, even when others are. Be true to yourself.
        • All of us intend to do better tomorrow and we would, too, if we started.
        •  Somebody has to do something and its just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
        • We can’t all be heroes, because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. ~ Will Rogers
        • Never discuss your problem with someone who cannot solve it. Silence cannot be misquoted.
        • Life is like coffee. Great video.
        • Video There is no I in team. There are many
        • Video The Perfect Moment
        • Video The Power of Positive Doing
        • Video Oh, Thank Goodness. It’s Not Just Me You may think you’re the only one…but guess what? You’re not! Connect the heart and soul of what it means to be a woman!
        • Video: Good to the Core   Can you identify your core values?
        • Video: Dreams are Whispers From the Soul  Within each of us us lies a powerful dream.
        • Video: The Richest Man in Town amazing man who inspired countless people through his basic life lessons.
        • Video: Great Quotes, Great Women
        • Video: May You Be Blessed Live more abundantly than the day before
        • Video: 100/0 Principle  making relationships all they can be
        • Video: Oil for your Lamp The world needs your passion and flame—but you can’t fulfill your destiny if your oil is running on empty.
        • Video: Pulling Together
        • Video: Pink Bat. For every problem there is a solution.
        •  Video: Customer Love 10 Phrases to Make Your Customers Feel  Loved
        • Video: If Life is a Game, These Are The Rules
        • Video: One Choice
        • Video: First Thing Every Morning  make the best use of those 86,400 seconds each day
        • Video: The Power of Discipline   Discipline alone can be the difference between winning and losing, between greatness and mediocrity.
        • Avoid looking forward or backward; look upward.
        • Whiners are a bore.
        • Appreciate nature. Contemplation of nature can cure the “ambitions of the flesh” and “disease of the soul.”
        • You can’t hoot with the owls all night and fly with the eagles in the daytime.
        • I’m the most blessed person in the world
        • Be your own best friend. That way you will always have someone there with you. When we accept ourselves we are freed of the burden of needing to be accepted by others.
        • It is a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars. -Garrison Keillor
        • Washing Dishes for Jeff
        • The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes. –Marcel Proust
        • Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple. -Woody Guthrie.
        • Class doesn’t run scared.
        • You have a soul just as you have a body and a social self. Do not starve it.
        • If you can affect someone when they’re young, you are in their hearts forever. –Mara Wilson, Actor
        • Linger in bed alone for awhile each day before arising, devoting yourself to  contemplation and mental housecleaning.
        • Do things beautifully.
        • There is no moment, ever, that does not either hold an opportunity or a lesson that God is offering. – Lee Jampolksy
        • Your greatness is limited only by the investment you make in yourself.
        • People always ask me, “You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?”One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was beautiful. –Gabourey Sidibe, actor
        •  Every one of us possess the beauty of compassion we are born with our arms reaching out to embrace.
        • When you save a little money by getting a discount for something put that money aside to give away. It won’t cover another’s medical expenses but when they receive it , it is a sign to them that God knows and cares about their situation.
        • For every step you take toward God, God takes two steps toward you; and if you come to God walking, God comes to you running.  James Martin- – business manager turned Jesuit Priest
        • There is plenty of time if you don’t hurry.
        • Take care of minutes: for hours will take care  of themselves. – Lord Chesterfield
        • GOD  No one is ever so lost that he ceases to by missed by the One who loves him most. –Gary Stanley , in What My Dog Has Taught Me About Life.
        • The sun will always shine after the storm.  You just have to look for it. God knew when he created us that we would have the storms of life to deal with. Isaiah said it best:” For thou has been a strength to the poor, a strength  to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm. – Jim Cantore
        • Live simply, love generously. Learn constantly.
        • Love is good will towards others.  Love is concern for tohers. Love wants good things to happen to others, even our enemies- Rev. Richard Taylor.
        • Enjoy the little things in life, as someday you will realize they are the big things.
        • Dance like no one is looking, sing like no one can hear you, love like you can’t be hurt.
        • But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthinans 12:9  Grace has carried me here and grace will carry me through.)
        • A winning effort begins with preparation.
        • Nothing good comes easy. Anything worthwhile that you want in life will take hard work, but if you are willing to put the effort in, so many amazing things can happen.
        • God will give you an abundance of opportunities and possibilities. Hope and courage gives you miracles and blessings.
        •   “What makes you comfortable can ruin you, and what makes you uncomfortable is the only way to grow.” – Bill Eckstrom in his 2017 TEDx talk
        •   “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”- James Baldwin, an American essayist, novelist and playwright.
        • And as a few strokes on the nose will make a puppy head shy, so a few rebuffs will make a boy shy all over. But whereas a puppy will cringe away or roll on its back, groveling, a little boy may cover his shyness with nonchalance, with bravado, or with secrecy. And once a boy has suffered rejection, he will find rejection even where it does not exist—or, worse, will draw it forth from people simply by expecting it.”
        • Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the universe loves nothing so much as to change things which are and to make new things like them. For everything that exists is in a manner the seed of that which will be.” “Thou wilt die soon and thou are not yet simple nor free from perturbations, nor without suspicion of being hurt by external things, nor kindly disposed towards all; nor dost thou yet place wisdom only in acting justly.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

        What do you want to pass on to your kids?  (Tell us in the comments below.)

        inspiringvoices.com

     

This entry was posted in Ask the Readers, Babies, Baby Boomers, Grandparenting, Inspiration, Parenting, Success, Tulsa. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Things I Want to Teach My Child

  1. Dave says:

    Someone wrote Ask Amy about adult children who borrow from their parents and don’t repay their debts. Wanting to be fair to all their children they gave each child a cash Christmas present slightly larger than the largest debt, and subtracted each child’s debt from the gift. Everybody got something and now everyone was even.

    Amy responded that while forgiving these debts could be good for relationships in the short term, but, depending on the recipients, it might impede their financial competency.Amy added that she hoped that the parent kept the slate clean by not lending money to their children.

  2. Davis says:

    Fraud in the Family -The people you know best are most likely to cheat or swindle you…. The perpetrator may be a child …

    The Distant Son …..

    “One of the things I’ve heard is, ‘It’s OK to steal or take this money from Mom and Dad because it’s my inheritance,’ ” says Jilenne Gunther, director of AARP’s BankSafe initiative.

    “This is the easiest crime to commit,” says Karen Sundstrom, who works for the Lexington County, South Carolina, Recreation and Aging Commission as an advocate for older adults who experience abuse. “It’s a piece of cake.” Once someone close to you gets over the moral hurdles, the logistics are easy. A relative or friend, unlike a larcenous stranger, knows or can quickly find out exactly what you own and where it is. Most important, that person has your trust. Once a fraudster has that, experts say, getting you to agree to requests is relatively simple.

    READ ALL:
    https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2018/family-fraud.html

  3. Anna C. says:

    A fake laugh- Someone who appears upbeat all the time is repressing their feelings out of deep insecurities and the fear of rejection. Afraid if they reveal their true selves others won’t like them they constantly wear a “happy face”. An individual like this can never have a true friendship because their energies are always focused on maintaining a pleasant mask.
    Always be yourself. It’s better to be a real nobody than a fake somebody. You were born an original. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody … Originality is a thing we constantly clamor for, and constantly quarrel with.

    See https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8461824/smiling-depression-mental-illness :MASK OF JOY ‘Smiling depression’ is one of the most dangerous mental illnesses, expert warns – and it affects MILLIONS One in ten people suffer depression – of those up to 40 per cent suffer ‘smiling depression’, hiding their torment from the world

  4. Donna says:

    How to ruin your kids life
    From several parents who have ‘been there, done that’ and are now deeply sorry:

    • Make sure he never develops sense of responsibility. responsibility and organization- Let the cleaning lady pick up and clean for them.
    • Rescue them when trouble arises and protect him from everything- a teacher when he doesn’t do his school work…pay his speeding tickets. Deny him nothing!
    • Hand them money to take from them any creativity to figure out how to earn it on his own.
    • Destroy their craving to learn and his self esteem by doing everything for him so he thinks he can’t do it since you apparently don’t believe he can and he won’t try, choosing to let everyone else take care of him. His wife will love you for it.
    • Steal his feeling of triumph for learning to do something. Let him rely on you so you steal his joy of of enthusiastically looking to God.
    • Cripple them by Squelching their desire to learn how to do things for themselves by doing everything for them.
    • Think for them. Make sure your thought and your beliefs are theirs.
    • Don’t teach them goal setting.
    • Smother him so he is ill equipped to do a thing for himself because the last thing you want is for him to not need you. Be sure you let the kids live at home as long as possible.
    • Instead make sure you always bail them out of debt
    • .

  5. zander says:

    http://www.flickspire.com/m/SimpleTruths/LifeIsLikeCoffee

    A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, were visiting with their college professor. Conversation soon turned to complaints about stress in work and life.

    Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive some exquisite.

    He told the guests to help themselves to the coffee. After everyone had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said,

    “If you notice all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up leaving the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal to want the best for yourself, that is the source of our problems.

    The cups adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and hides what we drink. What all of us really wanted was coffee, not the cup but consistently we reach for the best cups and then began eyeing each others cups.

    Life is like coffee. Jobs, money & position in society are the cups. They are just tools to contain life. The type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee.

    The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.”

    Live simply. Speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.”

    “Life is like Coffee. “

  6. Taylor B, says:

    WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS…from Ask Amy
    Grandparents, ideally, are involved, caring and kind. They offer a soft place for their grandchildren to nestle, removed from the pressures of other relationships. They love without harsh judgment. They create a positive presence, even when they are not nearby. They communicate and show a loving interest in the lives of their grandchildren.

  7. Davina says:

    When everything seems to be going well with us, we are apt not to care for others, and in the fulness of our enjoyments, we forget the many wants of our brethren.

  8. Davina says:

    If you really want to pay me back, the next time you see someone who needs help, please give that person the needed assistance and think of me.

  9. Robyn says:

    Basic Etiquette for Dummies

    Don’t pick at anything in public (nose, butt, scabs, teeth, zits spouse)
    Keep your elbows off the table
    Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
    Don’t smack.
    When you stand up, look around you first before you start walking away so you don’t knock someone down. And always watch were you are going do you don’t run into or over someone.
    Don’t talk loud
    Don’t attract attention
    Don’t be greedy and reach for the last thing. Make sure there is enough to go around.
    Never eat in front of someone unless you offer to share.
    When someone visits it is your job to make them comfortable.Offer them a drink of whatever you have-soda, tea, juice or water if that is ll you have.
    Always make sure your friends car starts and they move before you leave the parking lots.
    Brush your teeth when you get up. No one wants to smell your dog breath.
    If you are visiting, don’t help yourself to the fridge. If your host is etiquette challenged and doesn’t offer you a drink and you need one ask only for water.
    NEVER pop in on someone. This is not the 1940s or 1950s. Always call first. Don’t just show up on their doorstep, yell surprise when they open the door. The surprise may be that they have plans they cannot change. (Give plenty of notice if you would like to visit. Call to check schedule several days in advance.)
    Keep your bodily noises to yourself. Nobody wants to hear or smell them.
    Wipe your feet well at the door before entering another person’s home.
    Sleeves are not Kleenex
    When you visit someone, it is true that company is like fish, after three days it begins to stink!

    Remember you are not the cute ‘exception to the rule’ no matter what your mama told you.

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