DO YOU KNOW ANY WIDOWS?

When a husband dies, church members attend services and console with casseroles, visits, cards, and promises of prayers. After a few months church members, and even
some family members, move on. The first year, after the death of her husband, the
widow is in shock, struggling with deep grief, loneliness and confusion. The widow
tries to hide her frustration and fears, yet the suffering stays with her.

Research tells us that only another widow can understand the pain of a widow and that no amount of therapy is going to be enough unless a widow has other widows to talk to.

 

Click to read more about widows on this blog.

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

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 Purple heart Facebook: A Heart for the Widowed

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6 Responses to DO YOU KNOW ANY WIDOWS?

  1. Pingback: A Simple Act That Can Touch a Widow’s Heart | Tulsage.com

  2. Dawn says:

    is a short but good video about what they are doing for widows in Duncan Oklahoma

  3. Dawn says:

    Here is what Asbury Methodist Church, Tulsa, OK did July 31, 2015 Stand in the Gap for Widows
    I LOVE these pictures!! (Click on the right middle of the picture to go forward and see more pictures.)

    To learn about beginning small groups for widows: http://www.sitgm.org/widows

  4. Ben says:

    Grief is not necessarily going to be over in a year, yet many widows are embarrassed to still be suffering for 5 yrs, 10 ….or longer. Friends feel awkward around a widow. Shortly, the calls, cards and meals stop. She will lose 75% of the friends they had as a couple. Feeling alone, she needs someone who understands, but she will not ask for help. Only another widow can understand. She wants to be remembered and for her spouse to not be forgotten. There are also things hat her husband may have always handled that she needs guidance on how to turn off the water.

    How the church can meet a widows needs is explained more in detail in the information provided by Stand in the Gap for Widows (SITGM). In a nutshell the manual contains:

    – The purpose of SITGM for widows, training and an agenda to knit the hearts of widows.
    – Volunteer-driven, it requires minimal time from pastoral staff.
    – How to form “small groups” (made up only of widows) in order to help widows socialize with each other. (Widows need a listening heart; someone who understands where they are on their journey and to give them hope.)
    – Help with practical needs, includes auto, home, financial and Maintenance 101.
    – Simple ways to remember her (especially on Valentines Day and Christmas. A card or call on the anniversary of his passing is a wonderful idea to show that her husband is not forgotten.)

  5. Terri says:

    The Art of offering Love and Comfort

    When responding to a loved one’s tragedy.

    DO be there. Rather than needing space, most people need presence at the time of tragedy.
    DON’T compare. Each trauma should be respected for its uniqueness.
    DO bring soup or something to eat. Nonverbal expressions of love are as healing as eloquence.
    Do something you see that needs to be done.
    DON’T say “You’ll get over it.” A major disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.”
    DO be a builder. Some people drop everything and arrive at the moment of crisis, but “builders” are there for years, walking alongside as the victims live out in the world.
    DON’T say “It’s all for the best” or try to make sense of what has happened. Theology is not a formula to explain away each individual event.

    Summary: According to the article, tragic experiences call for “… a sort of passive activism. We have a tendency, especially in an achievement-oriented culture, to want to solve problems and repair brokenness. But what seems to be needed is the art of presence: to perform tasks without trying to control or alter the elemental situation. Allow nature to take its course. Grant the sufferers the dignity of their own process. Sit simply through moments of pain and uncomfortable darkness. Be practical, mundane, simple, and direct.”
    For full article go here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/21/opinion/brooks-the-art-of-presence.html?_r=1

  6. Bart says:

    Grief is not something that we deal with one day and the next day we are over it. It is a journey that everyone deals with it differently. Some use humor while others are quiet or withdrawn.

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