Many friends and family tell the widow, “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” In shock, struggling with deep grief and overpowering waves of loneliness and confusion, she doesn’t know what it is that she needs.
Her whole world has drastically changed. Many mental-health professionals gauge the death of a spouse as the number one most stressful event a person will face in their lifetime.
She misses her husband terribly. Everyone is careful to not mention his name, for fear that will make her cry. Yet, that is the very thing she wants to hear; to know that people remember that he was alive and that he hasn’t been forgotten.
Fast forward a few short months, when the casseroles, the cards and the phone calls have stopped. Those who told said, “let me know what I can do” never called. Others stopped trying when she didn’t answer the phone, not realizing that she was in the middle of a crying jag and simply could not talk.
When faced with the greatest darkness she has ever felt, everything seems broken and friendships gone. The pain is overwhelming and she doesn’t want to be alone. Her heart is begging friends to not give up on her. Please don’t stop trying to reach me.
Widows usually experience thoughts of…My world will never be the same….This is forever….Is this all there is?…Why bother getting out of bed when there is nothing to look forward to?…Why am I even here? Where do I fit in?
Instead of letting on that she desperately needs something as simple as a phone call or a bit of advice on how to change the AC filters, the widow forces a brave smile, says she is fine and keeps the pain inside, so she isn’t a burden to anyone.
There is a deep emotional pain of feeling alone and forgotten. The day of his passing, his birthday and hers, their anniversary and holidays are extremely hard days. Valentine’s Day can be the most painful of all holidays as television and even the pharmacy bombards her with reminders of this special day. She realizes this is yet another day where she will be left out, feeling alone and forgotten.
- As death is inevitable for each of us, many wives will face this lonely road, alone.
- More than 100,000 Oklahomans are widowed.
- Stress and depression, caused by deep grief and loneliness may be misunderstood by those who have not been affected by the loss of a spouse. Only another widow can understand the excruciating pain that can last for years.
- A widow, in shock, doesn’t know what she needs when friends first ask. Yet, support from friends and family drops off significantly, as the weeks pass. It has been that 75% of the friends they had as a couple will drop her.
- Many mental-health professionals gauge the death of a spouse as the most stressful event a person will face in their lifetime.
A SIMPLE ACT TO LET SOMEONE KNOW THEY ARE REMEMBERED
Maybe you know a widow– your grandmother or mom….. a friend, neighbor or someone at church? One simple act of kindness, no matter how small, can mean the world to someone who feels alone. A homemade Valentine card and some candy kisses on Valentines Day (February 14) is a simple way to warm a heart, put a smile on someone’s face and make someone’s week.
Some churches have begun having a widows luncheon to honor the ladies in their church.
Widow Recognition Day 2015 Proclamation signed by Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin
READ MORE ON THIS SITE ABOUT WIDOWS
WILL YOU SPEAK UP FOR THE WIDOWED?
Facebook: A Heart for the Widowed