Stories of two people who know what it is like to feel left out on Valentine’s Day.


In the 1940s, when Ken wasn’t much older than the young kindergarten children his daughter teaches today, his teacher placed a big box decorated with paper hearts and lace on her desk. She explained that Valentines cards are given to those we care about.  During the following week the girls make a big deal of it when they dropped in a fat pile, one card at a time.

On the day of the party, as the teacher opened the box and began passing out the little envelopes, Ken sat at his desk, waiting anxiously to see who had sent him a Valentine card.

As the teacher came toward him, her hands full of envelopes he sat up straighter.   She handed a card to the boy behind him and one to the girl, across the aisle from him, to add to her pile.

Maybe his were at the bottom.

When only two cards remained he was hopeful that one was for him. Yet, when they were handed out and the teacher returned to her desk to put the box away for the next year, he realized that not one person had wanted to give him a card.

He had hoped for at least one Valentine, now he hoped that no one would notice that he  hadn’t received a single Valentine. He put on his tough guy face because he wasn’t about to cry at school.

Maybe they thought a boy like him didn’t want a valentine. After all,  even he didn’t seem to know just how much he wanted one.

Over seventy Valentines Days have gone by, but this is the one he remembers most. The wound in his heart still stings and brings tears to his eyes. Part of him will always be waiting for at least one valentine.

Ken’s daughter shares this story with her class each year as a valuable lesson on how we can hurt people by things we don’t do as much as with the things we do.



When Valentines cards were being distributed to classmates and the stack on the desk of pretty, popular girl grew Mary Ann prayed that she’d receive an acceptable amount of her own.

Noticing that the new girl, gawky and shy, had received hardly any she felt like crying. She wondered how it could be right that some people got lots of attention while others were virtually ignored.

At college, with no boyfriend, she felt completely left out. In her mail, that day, was a package from her 12-year-old sister containing a pretty choker, nestled in hearts cut from red construction paper. On the biggest heart her sister had written: To M.A., I love you, Jeannie.

Someone cared!

One February 14th, opening her door to retrieve her morning newspaper, she saw flowers being delivered to her neighbor.

Was the only purpose for Valentine’s Day to make cash registers ring for retailers and florists?

Swept up by envy and self-pity, she retreated to her bedroom to finish getting ready for work. Tugging a scarf from the top closet shelf, a shower of red paper hearts from her sister (that she had saved all these years) fluttered down on her, like confetti. And there was the one with the handwritten words: To M.A., I love you, Jeannie.

The power of that simple sentiment reminded her that the point of Valentine’s Day is to tell others that you care about them.   As she picked up the strewn paper hearts, people she cared about came to mind.

Those who need our love are all around us.*

Not concerned if they’d arrive late she dropped cards in the mail that day to family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances who needed a word of encouragement and folks she had lost touch with, to let them know that she was thinking of them.


*Those who are alone, for whatever reason, often feel the pain of being left out when everywhere are non-stop television commercials and store aisles with candy and gifts.

February 14 provides a special opportunity to let people know we are grateful for their presence in our lives. No matter who we are, or what is going on in our own life, we can encourage others, by reaching out especially in this time of coronavirus, when so many feel disconnected from society.

Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. (Ephesians 6:8 KJV)

This entry was posted in Blessings, Kindness, Valentine's Day, Veterans, volunteer, Widowed and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stories of two people who know what it is like to feel left out on Valentine’s Day.

  1. Gail says:

    A young widow uses Valentines Day as a celebration of God’s love and the value of life.

    This unforgettable experience changed Valentine’s Day, from simply a celebration of love, to a celebration of God’s love and the value of life.

    Debbie Query’s husband was tragically killed in a car accident, leaving her a widow, when their youngest child was only 2 years old.

    It’s common to feel like you don’t fit in when you are alone, especially at Valentine’s Day when couples will usually be celebrating with a special meal or gifts.
    Several years ago Debbie and her four children started a tradition by hosting a Valentine’s banquet/luncheon i her home just for ladies who don’t have a Valentine with them because of tragedy, divorce or abandonment. The Querys prepare a lovely luncheon: tea sandwiches, beautiful green salads, fresh fruit salad and tea.

    This unique Valentine’s Day event shows the ladies that this is a special time of the year for them, too. The ladies feel cared for, encouraged and loved even though they may not have their own Valentine with them.

    Soothing, beautiful music plays in the background and pictures are taken of the special event

    Debbie Query, who lives in Gravette, AR is an amazing, kind, generous and selfless woman who uses her pain to help others. Continuing to live their faith by example she acknowledges single ladies in her community who might be feel forgotten on this day, by creating a beautiful Valentine’s Day event. A HUGE Thank you to Debbie for showing kindness and compassion to others. We all need each other!

  2. Donna says:

    Touching someone with kindness helps both the giver and the recipient.

    Former NFL player Tommie Harris had only been married for 41 days when his wife, Ashley had a brain aneurysm during a surgery. After he got the news, he was walking through the airport crying. He said that he weighed about 300 pounds and desperately wanted someone to hold him, hug him or to just notice him.

    Yet, no one did.

    He later lost his four-month-old daughter to SIDS. From that personal experience his faith continues to inspire him today to do more to serve others. “Now when I go to the airport my head is on a swivel, looking for the slumped-over shoulders, for the guy that may not look approachable, but I know he needs a hug.”

    Research shows that our bodies respond to a hug, a pat on the back, or a hand on the shoulder by producing the hormone oxytocin* which has a calming effect leaving one feeling tranquil. It doesn’t matter if you are the giver or the receiver. It is simply the physical touch of another human being.

    *Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the ‘love hormone’, because levels of it increase with empathy, trust (relationship-building) and during hugging. Oxytocin counters the effects of cortisol, the ‘stress hormone’ which rises during tension-filled time. Chronic stress may pump up the rate in which new fat cells are formed because increased levels of cortisol cause higher insulin levels, your blood sugar drops and you crave sugary, fatty foods. Cortisol exposure can increase visceral fat, commonly known as belly fat which is linked to a higher risk of type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, heart disease and even certain cancers.

    Oxytocin may also have benefits as a treatment for a number of conditions, including depression, anxiety, and intestinal problems.

    WHAT A DEAL: Reach out and touch someone in kindness and improve your own health

  3. Brian says:

    A love letter from God to you

    My Child,
    You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1)
    I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2)
    I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)
    Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)
    For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)
    In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)
    For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28)
    I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
    I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)
    You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16)
    I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26)
    You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
    I knit you together in your mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13)
    And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6)
    I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. (John 8:41-44)
    I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16)
    And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1)
    Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1)
    I offer you more than your earthly Refers to everything of this earth, as opposed to heavenly things. Example: Earthly treasures/heavenly treasures. The earthly things pass away (are temporal), but the heavenly things are eternal. (Matthew 6:19-21; Colossians 3:2; 1 John 2:17)… More father ever could. (Matthew 7:11)
    For I am the perfect father. (Matthew 5:48)
    Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)
    For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33)
    My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
    Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
    My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)
    And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
    I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)
    For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5)
    I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)
    And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)
    If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
    Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
    For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13)
    I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
    For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)
    I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
    When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)
    As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)
    One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4)
    And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)
    I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23)
    For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)
    He is the exact representation of my being. (Hebrews 1:3)
    He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31)
    And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
    Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
    His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1 John 4:10)
    I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32)
    If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (1 John 2:23)
    And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-39)
    Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. (Luke 15:7)
    I have always been Father, and will always be Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)
    My question is … Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)
    I am waiting for you. (Luke 15:11-32)
    Your Dad.
    Almighty God

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